The Life and Times of Coco Esquire

New Spot

2010-07-21T12:29:00.002-04:00

So Pserendipity fussed at me (I kid) about my blog eating comments. I decided it was time for a change. Check me out at http://cocohassomethingtosay.wordpress.com

New/Old Friend/Acquaintance

2010-07-20T16:07:00.002-04:00

So when I went to Mexico for the wedding I reconnected with an old/new friend/acquaintance. We had conversations about the past and she was very insightful about a few things from the past and present. I just want to know why I, a person who is a pretty good judge of character, didn't see that my best friend from college was fcuking psyc.hotic. Why do we let the glaring signs go when it is someone we love? It doesn't matter the love, we just let it ride. She was really close to my best friend but she let her go b/c she saw the psyc.hosis. I hold on to a lot of people who show big a** red flags. I wonder why I do that. Maybe that is an issue I can work out with my next therapist.

Friendship

2010-07-20T16:02:00.002-04:00

So the friend that I said I was completely done with is officially no longer a friend. Don't ask me what happened but we are done. If you ask I wouldn't know the answer. The beautiful part about it is that I am ok with it. Maybe she reads the blog. Works for me. I wish her nothing but happiness! It is funny I don't even talk or think about her. I just happened to attempt to look at her facebook page and I was no longer a friend. I don't even know when it happened b/c she commented on my page the day I was stranded on the side of the road. I guess she got mad when I didn't respond but I actually didn't respond to anyone. I just made a few more comments and then came home to sleep. As my bestie said her loss! Dueces!

What I Want

2010-07-11T15:09:00.003-04:00

I want my dad to leave me alone. Please love me from afar!

I want a full time job

I want a car that I got on my own

I want to live away from home. I desperately miss my apartment!

I want my own space

I want a love of my own

I want to travel

The Friday from Hell

2010-07-10T22:47:00.002-04:00

Friday, July 9, 2010 was pure hell!

I woke up with a sore throat--it is too d*mn cold in this house!

When I went outside to move my car the front passenger side tire was flat.

As I drove to Atlanta Friday afternoon the back tire blew out.

I call the state patrol to help me change the tire and find out the spare has separated tread.

While sitting on the side of the road waiting for the tow truck I run the car hot.

I am towed to P.ep Bo.ys and just break down and get 4 new tires.

I ask the people there to check my radiator. Informed guy who does that is not there so someone will look at it but doesn't necessarily know what he is doing.

I drive away from there and about 4 miles down the road must pull over b/c the car is overheating.

I call my mom and my cousin and while I wait for them it is thundering and lightning but no rain.

My family arrives and it starts to rain (at this point it is dark and a police officer is waiting with me so I am safe).

Cousin checks the car and says it is the radiator. Must call my roadside assistance to get towed for the second time in one day.

That was my HELLISH Friday. I am happy that I made it through b/c as you read you can imagine all the bad stuff that could have really happened.

Sperm donor disappointed me in this situation once again.

Pieces of Me

2010-07-07T16:11:00.003-04:00

I think I like my new title for my random ramblings:

So my mom and I had it out about her foolishness. We pseudo kissed and made up. Love that woman but we just aren't meant to live together.

After that mess I am willing to leave Georgia if it guarantees that I can live my life.

I have some very supportive friends.

I am making moves outside of the legal field--hopefully it will all work itself out.

My 4th was pretty nice. I hung out with my friend V and her family. That really makes me wish I had a big family. It also lets me know that I need more than one child. I love being an only child but I definitely missed a lot.

I hate when I ask a yes or no question and the response I get can't even be considered a maybe--ugh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So Crush and I are allegedly going on a date next Saturday. This should be pretty interesting.

So why did the dude who has been trying to go out with me for a minute end up in a relationship? I am not saying he should have been pining away for me but don't try to go out on a date and end up with a girlfriend 2 weeks later.

Ok so I have some business to take care of but I am going to finish the Mexico post and post it very soon.

Smooches,
Coco, Esq.

Frustration

2010-07-02T23:21:00.002-04:00

So I started a post about Mexico but most of it got deleted so I am going to finish it eventually. I just couldn't bare to rewrite it at that time.

The point of this post is to vent about my parents, mainly my mom but this isn't just about her.

So how many ways can I tell you to leave me alone and let me handle this. I am applying for jobs regularly and still haven't found another job. Well my mother sits in her bedroom in her spare time and trolls websites to find me a job. The only problem with that is I don't have enough legal experience or the grades to apply for the jobs she keeps throwing at me. I hate to say it like this but my mom is a teacher and finding a teaching job is much easier than finding a law job. In the teaching field they just want you to have a degree and be able to teach. In the law field they want experience and grades. Grades don't guarantee that you will be good at your job but they still want grades. If I had the experience they may be willing to overlook the grades. Well I don't have either so I am stuck between a rock and a hard place. I could go on but I would be rambling so I will move on to the next part of the story.

Yesterday my mother called the head of the dept of poli sci at the local college and pretended to be me to see if they were looking for adjunct professors. They were and she told him that I was willing to teach at any time of the day so expect my info in the mail. That would be fine and dandy if the money was worth it. Can I just say being an adjunct is a rip off to the person. The pay is $3000 or so per semester. If the semester is 14 weeks that is roughly $214 per week. What is that going to help me do and that is before taxes. I was so hot! She didn't even see the wrong in this. What if I am offered a job in a non commutable area like the capital of my lovely state. I would have to turn the job down b/c I signed a contract to teach for the semester. I went off and the only reason she apologized was because I made her feel so guilty. I just don't understand how you are trying to run my life and then think I am going to nut up.

My issue with my dad is his trying to stand up for her. Wrong is wrong! He is like she has never had a daughter so she doesn't know what is good or bad. Yeah that argument would work if I was five and she did something like forget to pack my new medicine that I just got. I am freaking 29 and that is just not cute at all. She was wrong and she knew she was wrong. I have told her in the past to stop doing that stuff and it isn't like this is the first time.

I am still mad but I did get it off my chest >-(

Random

2010-06-15T20:10:00.003-04:00

You guys should be used to randoms by now ;-)

I actually had a topic but who actually remembers what it was.

If you haven't done it lately send someone a love note: a friend, family member, or lover. Make someone feel good! I did that the other day and my friend actually said she cried. I have more notes to send out.

If I haven't told you lately I love you!

I know you are tired of hearing this but I really like Crush. The only difference this time is I am not attempting to do anything about it. He doesn't want me or at least doesn't want to act on wanting me so I keep it moving. I am proud of me.

So my weave is coming out for a few days. I go to the dermatologist and want him to see my dry, itchy scalp. This should be pretty interesting since I haven't had a relaxer in 12 weeks. The longest I have gone without is 10 weeks and I swore I would never do that again.

Let's go Celtics!

Congratulations to Mommy KC! Baby ButterBean made his appearance yesterday morning. I am so happy and your mommy care package has been placed in the mail. I pray nothing breaks. I wrapped it up in paper but the mailman was insistent on me not using my bubble wrap.

So yesterday I almost had a meltdown. My meltdown almost came from my mommy being her overly dramatic self. I had a few health issues earlier this year and I tried to get insurance. They turned me down b/c I didn't have a consistent medical history (since I haven't been to the doctor since grad school). I have been relative healthy these past few years minus an infection or two so I am going to claim that the next couple of years won't be any different. Well she kept harassing me about not being able to get insurance. It is what almost caused my mini meltdown. She asked called me three times about it. Too dang dramatic! I was also upset about my unemployment situation. Let's just say I need to find a job immediately!

Friday is Graduation from dance class! I am so excited!

So today my brea.st were on display. I went to get a pedicure and do you know the lady asked me if I just had a baby. o_O They have gotten larger but dang lady that was so unnecessary.

Next week is Mexico! So excited!

That is all I have today!

Smooches,
Coco, Esq.

Randoms of Coco

2010-06-03T21:19:00.002-04:00

Tomorrow is my last day of work. I am so ready for it to be over but I will miss my paycheck.

I will tell you all about the job once it is over. The best word to describe it is unorganized.

Congratulations to Babs! Welcome Baby Foxy!

Part-time came to my bestie's bbq and we all had fun. Bestie likes him as a person.

Crush was there but he left before Part-time got there.

Did I ever tell you all how I don't like Ko.be at all? Yeah I am cheering for the Cel.tics all day every day in this series!

It is getting closer to the wedding and I can't find a swimsuit so I can frolic on the Mexican beach.

My sperm donor is full of isht. I don't think I have told you guys that lately.

Married men need to stay away from me and my friends. I don't give you the idea that I won't you so leave me alone.

I sent Mrs. Count an email asking to be placed on her prayer list. Can I just say she is so sweet! Hey girl! She reminds myself of a younger me when it comes to knowing when she wants something. I think she is a lot more set in her faith than I am. Sleep is one of my vices. The only problem is I can't stay asleep in the morning but I could sleep all through the day.

There are a lot of angels looking out for me. Thank you Lord!

My dress for the wedding is way too big but I think it will be lovely once it is altered.

For Mother's Day we got my granny a new vanity for the bathroom. Well my mom thought we should get new accessories for the bathroom. We went shopping last night around 9. Do you know we didn't get home until after 10 and she already started putting it up. Sit down somewhere woman. Did I mention is was way past her bedtime?

I am enjoying my po.le dancing class. It is great exercise! My belly is tight!

I have about 8 books I am supposed to be reading. I guess I should get started huh?

I have really missed you guys and I think it is time I start giving you more substance.

Smooches,
Coco, Esq.

Worried

2010-04-25T09:29:00.002-04:00

You know I am worried about our school systems. I don't have children but I do have a vested interest in the school systems. These systems are educating our future. The more I hear about schools the more concerned I become. Don't know what I can do but I am sure I can help create a solution.

This past Friday really got me up in arms. My mom came home with another one of her wild stories about students at her school and then she got even worse news on Saturday.

On Friday one of her co-workers was accused of dragging a student by the shirt and throwing her into the wall or something along those lines. There were other people in the class when the event allegedly happened. The student told this story and had another student repeat the story. The student then went into stealth mode and called her mom and the mom went straight to the board office.

I am all for protecting your child from teachers that abuse but unfortunately the story was all a lie. The student told this lie but there were at least 6 other witnesses in the room can testify that none of this happened. They are trying to put the incident on the teacher's record even though nothing occurred. There was actually another teacher in the class and 5 other students. The principal didn't even bother to get the teacher's account of the events. He automatically assumed that what was told was what occurred. I understand the principal needs to be there for the students before action is taken all accounts of what happened need to be taken into consideration. The teacher now has to get outside counsel involved because of the actions that occurred.

On Saturday morning my mom found out one of the school teachers left her child in the car all day. The mother was so stressed out about the CR.CT that she left the child in the car. She found the child when she came outside to go home Friday. I can't even imagine the thoughts going through her head. The CR.CT has these teachers wildin' out. If your students don't pass that is your job in some places. I understand the idea but it is more than teaching that gets a student a passing grade on an item. There are so many things that determines a student's success. It seems to me teachers had it easier back during my school days and they had better students and parents. What can one do to get people involved to make it better for our collective future?

Random Post

2010-04-14T21:23:00.002-04:00

I came back within 10 days--so proud of myself. It looks like I am about to start doing better.

So it is about that time to start looking for a new job. My current job should be ending in the next month or 2. Since I like the paycheck I was receiving I better get to getting.

That man irritates me! He is just being his normal self but it still irritates me.

Senor Humper is so socially awkward and he always comes out of left field with stuff. My biggest pet peeve with him is he is always late. I didn't notice it until we were doing something time sensitive. I was so tired on Sunday but we had a movie date. I woke up from my short nap to go to the movies with him. The movie theater is 20 minutes from my house but 5 minutes from his house. Why did I arrive before the movie started and he arrived after the movie started? Ugh!!!!!!!!!!!!! We had a text message conversation. I told him exactly when I was leaving my house and he said he would leave 5 minutes after that. You would think that would mean he would be there when I got there but of course he wasn't. Then as I stood outside of the movie for about 5 minutes he still wasn't there. I then called him and he said he would be there in 3 minutes. 6 minutes later he called me to find out where I was. He then asked me had it been 3 minutes. I told him no it had been 6. I would have bought my ticket and went into the movie but I refuse to purchase a ticket for Ty.ler Perr.y movies. I cannot monetarily support him with my own funds. After the movies we got a quick dinner. As we are leaving the restaurant he tells me you sure are filling out those jeans--insert side eye. Now we haven't had any conversations with each other along those lines all day and here he comes from left field. I can't deal!

I should blog about that movie but everything has already been said that could be said. Maybe I will give my review later.

I signed up for po.le dancing classes. I start at the end of the month. I am excited b/c I figure it is a way to get me excited about exercise. I hate to exercise. I only exercise when I have to see my trainer. Hopefully I will get up in the morning and go work out. Wish me well on that one!

I almost have the down payment on my car! I need one sooner rather than later which means I definitely need to find another job. The horn stopped working. My granny said you better hurry up and get a new car before that car falls apart on you. I am supposed to finally get new seats. My back is so excited about that. It would be great to be able to sit up straight while driving.

That is all I have!

Coco, Esq.

Sporadic Blogging

2010-04-04T17:32:00.004-04:00

That is what I have been doing for the past few months. Its not that I don't want to blog or anything like that--I am just extra busy as of late. It is crunch time with my job. Heads are rolling and I am trying to hold on to mine. My boss is taking it to another level. There is nothing I can do but keep it moving. I work and keep it moving.

Nothing truly exciting going on in my life.

My 29th birthday was the 27th. I had to work :-( but I did go out to dinner that night with friends from the area. Dinner was nice. Senor Humper was there. I figured out what his problem is--he is socially awkward. He wasn't comfortable around my mild friends. He couldn't handle my real crew.

Engaged man is now married man. So why is he still trying to holla? Go away and play with your wife of less than 3 months. Why get married?

Speaking of marriage I was watching the movie about B.i.ggie's life and I want my vows to be changed like his. Instead of "for richer, for poorer" their vows said "in prosperity and adversity". I like that! Hopefully I will remember that.

So Us.her's new cd came out and I haven't heard the whole thing and I don't think I will if I have to pay for it. I feel like he reverted back to his music of my teenage years. I was listening to the radio and I heard a song from his second cd and I just felt like his new music should have come out around the time of the second cd. I thought musicians should evolve and I am not getting that from his new stuff. I will say he has probably gained new fans in the younger crowd. But he probably lost a lot in my age group. Was it the marriage? Was it a need to bring se.xy back? Can I have the musician that evolved after Conf.essions?

I cooked some of the food for Easter. I was proud of myself. I cooked the collards and the mac and cheese. I think I did a pretty good job.

I am getting my beach body for Mexi.co this summer and as you already know I have a personal trainer. At the end of the month I will start taking po.le danc.ing classes. I am pretty excited about it. It is a different way to exercise and I figure I can definitely build up my upper body strength. It is lacking to say the least.

I need a hobby b/c when I am bored I mess with idiots via text message or BB messen.ger. It is pretty funny to me but I am sure if they knew they would be so disturbed.

I am ready to leave home and go out on my own for real. My family slowly drives me crazy! My dad really drives me crazy. He makes me want to put myself up for adoption (yes at 29)! He has issues he needs to work through.

Speaking of working through issues I was talking to my friend and she was telling me how my ex from high school is separated from his wife of less than 2 years. He and I were friends after we left each other alone. He was cool so why not be friends. Can I just scream from the rooftops that I am so not surprised by this? They had a very dysfunctional relationship. She had issues from before they even began to date that needed to be worked out before she decided to be in anybody's relationship. They either started dating my junior or senior year in college and she is 2 years behind us. Well she had serious daddy issues which led to serious trust issues. Maybe in 2005 or 2006 they broke up b/c he decided to confess how he cheated on her in the past. He kissed a girl and cuddled with a girl. Anyway he begged her to take him back and she did on the condition that they start from the beginning and he didn't have any female friends :-| (In case you don't know that is it is the side eye). I was technically kicked to the curb b/c of this. I say technically b/c we have a friend in common and she told him it would be in his best interest not to come at me with that shullbit. If I can't trust my man with female friends I can't trust him with females of any type so how is that helpful to a relationship? Anyhoo they lived happily ever after and got engaged. They eventually got married in the summer of 2008 and I found out in the spring of 2010 they were separated. Mess I tell you!

Why does Teeth Harvey have a dating website?

Anyhoo it is my time so I will talk to you sporadically!

Smooches,
Coco, Esq.

Random Ramblings

2010-03-21T10:45:00.002-04:00

So if I have an important doctor's appointment that I told you about and call you the day of the appointment of course you get the side eye when you don't return that phone call. You keep showing me who you are and I clearly have selective amnesia. We should just be fac.eboo.k friends!

My friends are the best ever! They support me through the good and bad!

This past year has been pretty good even though there has been some not so great stuff.

I really hate when people say I haven't heard from you in a long time. So you haven't heard from me in a long time but I called you. Obviously you didn't want to hear from me because you didn't pick up the phone and dial my number. My number hasn't changed since 2003. Maybe it should.

I want to cuddle and he doesn't :-(

We finally got digital cable. Explain to me why it doesn't have on demand. Where dey do dat et?

My birthday is in 6 days! I am excited about 29!

The Humper bothers me. The more I think about it the more disturbed I get. I don't want to be alone with him any time soon.

I rode a mechanical bull yesterday. It was slightly bootleg. I was up there for 83 seconds which is how I know it was bootleg. My thigh muscles are nowhere near that strong.

Yesterday I got to talk to an old friend and her baby was crying in the background. Do you know how wonderful that noise was? I am so happy she finally become a mommy. From day 1 I knew she wanted to be a mommy and now she has a son. It just shows me God is everywhere. I am still allergic to children though.

That is all I have today!

Smooches,
Coco Esq.

Random Ramblings

2010-03-11T14:44:00.002-05:00

I miss you guys. One word: work!

Why is my sperm donor an as.s? I came to the conclusion this week that I definitely must love him from afar. It is so bad my mom agrees. That is big b/c my mom is one of those love everybody people even when they do you dirty (it's amazing how I am her child).

Question: Do men take a 4pl.ay class? I think every guy I have dated has a certain method and I just wonder who told them that isht was ok. I really have the stank face when this is going on and refuse to let it go any further.

I have a personal trainer and he is pretty good. Now I just have to find the urge to go to the gym when he isn't training me.

New guy is a sweetie but he is in need of upgrades. I was awe of a grown man needing the upgrades he needs. Oh well--I am going to keep it moving right along with him.

So last weekend I went to the Chris.ette Mi,chelle concert last weekend. That girl has some talent!!! So does Lor.i Isi.bor is wonderful. I need to buy her cd immediately!

I was rocking a weave ponytail for two weeks since I have been going to the salon weekly but today I decide I wanted to wear my hair out. I told my hair stylist the reason was I wanted to scratch my scalp freely. She died laughing but it was so true.

I love my mommy. She drives me crazy but she is always there cheering me on. Mommies are the best.

I have to work on my birthday :-( Did I mention my birthday is on a Saturday? I had big girl plans too :-( Oh well--they were just scheduled for another day.

I have to go to the doctor on Tuesday for a procedure. Not looking forward to it but I know God will handle all that needs to be handled.

I love my friends! They are the best ever. They love me unconditionally and they listen to the nonsense that is my love life.

Men are emotional creatures that don't want to admit to being emotional. Why is that so?

Why is it news that Ti.ger is returning? Every black person knew he would be back by the Mas.ters.

I have nothing else! I love and miss you guys!

Smooches,
Coco, Esq.

Health

2010-02-26T18:33:00.002-05:00

I have missed blogging so but working two jobs is kicking my butt. Anyhoo today's topic is health, mainly my health.

So I decided since I got my promotion at work I would join the gym--my check is nice enough that I can afford at gym membership. Along with said gym membership I also got a personal trainer. I will be meeting with him twice a month and other times my uncle will be my trainer (he is a gym nut). This is a step in the right direction. Even though I am skinny I am not fit. I had my first personal training session yesterday and I was so stiff afterwards. I was happy that I wasn't sore but I still hate the stiff feeling. I am sore today but that is only because I had to feel my car up with boxes for my job. (My job is taking over my car--I couldn't see out of my windows.) My first check in with the trainer was great. I am in the Excellent category for my body fat so my goal is to be in the Superior category when it is all said and done.

I went to the doctor last week and almost everything came back great. No diseases, blood pressure and heart rate great. I asked the doctor to run a test on my Vitamin D levels b/c my mommy and granny have Vitamin D deficiencies. Well I get a phone call from the nurse and she informs me that I have too much Vitamin D in my system. Who would have thought that the girl who hates most dairy products would have too much Vitamin D. I guess it is all the riding around in my car for my job. My vitamins have a 200% supply of Vitamin D I think so I guess it is time to go back to the drawing board. I also have to go back to the doctor for a follow up procedure. Hopefully all is well and I can tell you all great news. I am not worried b/c God takes care of me no matter what--good or bad.

Oh me, Oh my!

2010-02-13T13:12:00.002-05:00

Happy Valentine's Day to all the lovers!

It appears that I have lost my brand spanking new digital camera that my dad bought me for Christmas :-( Actually there should be tears. I am hoping that I left it at my friend's house but I really think I have seen it since I left her house on Monday. I can't ask her b/c she left for a cruise today. I was so excited too b/c I finally found the misplaced software to upload pictures to my computer.

I have nothing else b/c right now I am slightly devastated about the camera :-(

Randomness

2010-02-04T15:09:00.003-05:00

So I am not happy with my job but I am going to stick it out b/c it is temporary and the paycheck is nice. My boss is psychotic in my opinion. I know I need to stop diagnosing people but she really is looney. She told me that my heart isn't in it. Well I actually do enjoy the job but I can't be engaging with her for fear that I will just nut up and curse her out. Can't exactly tell her that in response to her statement. I am going to do my job and keep it moving.

So for the most part all the men are gone and I am good with that. Clingy just disappeared on his own accord! I suspect he will pop back up but won't count on that happening. Country Boy took himself out of the running and doesn't even know it. He doesn't have that umph! He says he wants to go out but never attempts to make plans. I will not beg anyone to take me out. On Sunday I told him I was going out for drinks with my friend and he told me to call him when I got finished and we could then hang out. I called him and no response. He calls me Monday while I am at work and asks could we hang out later that day. I had no words. Actually I did have words--won't work. I am not going to be around to hang out when you find free time for me. Crush is just not it. I still have a crush on him but he won't make time for me so I must keep it moving. I told him on Sunday I give up!

Ok so my BFFL's b-day was last weekend. She got tore up from the floor up. It was a pretty interesting night. I enjoyed the sushi. There was almost a fight b/t the guys in our party and some guys in another party. Hot mess on fire.

Is it so important to change your relationship status on Facebook after getting married that you do it before the reception? Just so you know it is not going to keep him faithful. He is still a ho--not a wh.o.re but a ho. Especially since he was trying to get me to your house with your name on the mortgage while you were out of town. I respect you enough to say no but I can't say the same for him.

I pray that if I gain weight I never walk around thinking I look fly when in all actuality I look pregnant but there is no baby. You should never be congratulated on your pregnancy when it doesn't exist. (That has actually happened to me. I am sure those who know me are wondering WTF but it is true. The summer after my sophomore year two individuals on separate occasions asked me if I was preggers. It didn't hurt my feelings but it would probably upset me now. When I gain weight it goes straight to my tummy.)

I hate when people say something happened last month and it is only a few days into the month. Especially when the event happened less than a week before. I realize that it did happen last month but I still don't like to hear it.

I am making my su.per bo.wl gum.bo for Sunday. I am so ready to taste it b/c I haven't made/had it since 2008. Part time loved it.

Did I tell you how much I love my mommy?

I have nothing else

Smooches,
Coco, Esq.

Randomness

2010-01-27T18:09:00.002-05:00

It has been one of those weeks. My supervisor is slightly psychotic. She goes off on you and then 5 minutes later she is sweet as candy. Scary!

The new guy is pretty nice but he doesn't have the gumption. He says he wants us to get together but refuses to set a date. I tell him I am coming to his city and he is like let's get together. That is fine but unless you give me something to do I am going to flake on you. Set a date and I will be there.

Last Saturday I took a dance class at Pol.ela.teaz. I learn how to pop my bo.oty in a hand stand. That was a workout. I was sore for a day or two. I plan on taking the class at least once a month--good workout and I can learn a few tricks ;-)

My friend who I kicked out of my circle will probably be back in. We had over an hour long conversation today. She is better now that the weddi.ng has passed.

I have a mini-me. She really isn't a mini one but I am going to turn her into a diva before it is all said and done. We went to law school together. I am her personal shopper/life coach. I can do that now that I am in a truly happy place. It is fun hanging out with her and pushing her to be the great woman she is meant to be. She has a wonderful work and volunteer life but no personal life. We have to do something about that quickly.

I now have insurance and can go to the doctor--I am so excited! I set up an appointment with my favorite doctor. She is in law school town so I will be making a drive. I love her so!

I have nothing else :-(

Smooches,
Coco, Esq.

Life

2010-01-21T19:20:00.002-05:00

So I have been missing in action but that is because I am working two jobs. I work job 1 during the day and job 2 at night. I was thinking I would have a couple of off nights but clearly my part time boss thinks differently. If I don't request it off I will be working. I guess it just means that I can pay some more bills. By the way job number 2 is preparing ta.xes at the block and you know what block I am talking about.

Job number 1 is crazy. My immediate supervisor is under fire from her supervisor. I got a promotion but my supervisor doesn't know. There is a whole bunch of drama going on. Hopefully it will end once I start in my promoted position. I love my new salary--it is nice to see those numbers in comparison to what I was working with. I should be able to buy my new car by April or May. I set the goal of April 1.

I met a new guy and he seems really nice. I haven't talked to him in a couple of days but I have been in one of my moods so that is not a surprise that I haven't talked to him. His nickname is Country Boy. Clingy is Clingy. Nothing has changed. It is about time for me to cut him off. I am still crushing on Crush. We are both busy so nothing is happening there. Part-time is still part-time. I need to let it go but he serves a purpose and I enjoy the time we spend together.

Speaking of men I was having a conversation with a friend that made me realize I need to find a hobby. The only time I deal with the lames (Clingy, etc.) is when I am bored. What will be my hobby?

I can't think of much else going on in my life but I will be back--and yeah you did get two posts in one day ;-)

Smooches,
Coco, Esq.

Spa Weekend Recap

2010-01-21T18:44:00.002-05:00

So I have been gone for awhile but it is only b/c I am working two jobs. I am actually typing this while working at job #2. I thought I would give you guys a double header today and tell you about the spa weekend and then life in general. Here is the Spa Weekend:

Spa Weekend was great! Everyone should have a weekend like that. I was the farthest away so I flew in to Virginia from Atlanta. Mama Killa picked me up from the airport. We ran some errands and caught up. We waited for everyone to show up at her place so we could head to the mountains. Everybody but one met us at Mama Killa's house. We packed the cars up and headed west. We had the wrong directions so we ended up driving up a one lane mountain road :-( We saw a Skinny San.ta Cla.us and his suicidal beagle (he picked the dog up and the dog jumped into the road in front of my friend's car--tragic but she didn't hit him). We made it back down the one lane road and found another way to get to the resort. We made it to our home for the weekend right before the sun went down. Our home was a 4 bedroom 3 bathroom 3 floor townhouse. We were living in mountain luxury!

We called our weekend Spa Weekend: Chocolate Snowbun.ny Edition! Two friends and I had kitchen duties for the night. We had lasagna, salad, bread and fondue--all yummy! We talked for hours. I think I finally fell asleep around 2:30 I think.

Saturday morning we got up had breakfast prepared by 3 friends. There were pancakes, eggs and a breakfast casserole. We then got ready to go on our tubing adventure. That was the best fun ever. Who knew that going down a snowy hill in an inner tube could be fun. We did this for almost two hours. We did it alone, groups of two and groups of three. I even created a video that I have not uploaded to my computer. I will eventually upload once I upload the camera software to my computer. We left the tubing and made it back to our home and ate leftovers. We then showered and prepared for the spa.

The spa was heavenly! We got there an hour early and then we relaxed in the spa lounge. I had a splitting headache but I was ok in the spa. I had a facial with the nicest lady. She gave me the best facial ever and told me about each product and exactly what it did to my face. She was so great--she even gave me a foot massage (that came in handy). I then went back to the lounge and waited for my massage. My massage was great. He rubbed a sister just right! The only issue I had was he didn't rub my feet. I almost fell asleep on him. When it was time to leave the spa gave us gift bags. In the gift bags we had bath salts and a travel candle.

After the spa we got dressed for dinner. Dinner was ok. My food was bad to the point of most of the meat stayed on my plate. My head was hurting so bad I couldn't complain. We talked and laughed and just asked random questions. After dinner we went back to the house. It was more laughing and talking but this time everybody went to sleep early. I was the second to go to bed. The headache wasn't leaving until I got sleep.

The next morning we said goodbye. We had a breakfast of muffins and another breakfast casserole. This casserole was placed in the muffin cups. It was pretty good. All the food prepared at the house was good.

We drove back down the mountain and eventually split up. I rode back to Mama Killa's house and we ate lunch and fell asleep on the couch. I woke up just in time to be early to the airport. This was definitely one of my better vacations. I really had fun seeing my college friends. I hadn't seen most of them since the reunion in January 2008. I am definitely ready for the next one.

Smooches,
Coco, Esq.

Yeah, Yeah, Yeah

2010-01-07T17:56:00.002-05:00

I am back I guess. I think I want to start over.

2009 was a good year and I won't complain about the bad that occurred.

Clingy is still hanging on. He is too emotional though. I am sweet and evil at the same time and he doesn't get it.

Work is going well. I actually started my side hustle of preparing taxes this week. Wish me well!

So I am going skiing next week--why I have purchased 4 pairs of boots? I think I will only take the last pair. Don't need to add anything extra to my suitcase.

I clean my room and it explodes all over again. :-(

2010 will be even better than 2009!

My dad isn't speaking to me. Oh well! I can say that with a straight face too. He isn't talking to me b/c I didn't call him and wish him a Happy New Year. Yeah you can side eye that statement just like I did. Honestly I only called one person that day and it was my mommy and I do believe I was returning her phone call.

I really like the crush. I have to cook dinner for him b/c I lost a bet. We shall see if the way to a man's heart is through his stomach. I have to cook fried chicken and mac and cheese. I am still trying to figure out the vegetable. He requested the first two.

That is all I have,
Coco, Esq.

Tell 'Em How You Feel Thursdays

2009-12-17T23:30:00.002-05:00

I can't take much more of this mess! Just use it!

I think Clingy has left me alone. I thought I would be happy but I honestly liked the attention. Oh well!

Old dude stood me up last Saturday! I haven't heard anything from him but I let it be known that he is on my isht list!

I got a cute dress and coat from Ex.press for $88 including tax which would have been $249.50 regular price. So proud of myself and my coupons!

No one wanted to see my pics :-( I guess you are all my Fa.ce.boo.k friends or you just stopped reading b/c I post sporadically.

I don't want to hear your complaining. I am getting paid hourly while you are salaried but I am doing your job. :-|

Part time hustle is driving me crazy or at least the people are. My biggest pet peeve is stating the obvious or making something much bigger than it needs to be.

So I am playing fant.asy foo.tball this year and my league is called Battle of the Se.xes. Well I was the only girl to make it to the playoffs. Let's pray I don't kicked out the first week of playoffs. My team is actually kinda pitiful. My qb takes care of my team Pey.ton Mann.ing.

So I was at training for the part time hustle and one of the guys there was talking about the Chri.s Hen.ry tragedy. Do you know this heffa said how much do you want to bet that alcohol was involved--insert the b*tch shut the f*ck up face. Yeah it was one of those moments for me. I thought the statement was pretty ignorant. It didn't make sense to me why you would jump on a moving truck but my first assumption was not alcohol was involved. I just thought he wanted to get his point across and didn't pick the best way to do so. Then I read JozenC's blog and I understand. Passion is a mother. I would try to link the blog but that never works for me on blogger.

So why was my dad stuck on buying me a leather coat? I told him I didn't want a leather coat but he insisted on finding one. My mom told him I didn't want one but he still insisted on looking. He then asked me again and finally I got through to him. All I wanted from him was a new digital camera which he said he had already purchased. I am happy! He desperately wanted me to have a pink or green leather coat.

I am almost finished with my Chris.tmas shopping. I need to purchase one gift card and I will be finished. I am thinking about buying myself a new i.P.od. I am getting a lot for Chri.stma.s from myself.

That is all!

Smooches,
Coco, Esq.

Random Thoughts of Coco Esquire

2009-12-06T11:15:00.002-05:00

I am ok with being selfish! I am really enjoying my life right now--my single life.

I gave blood yesterday and no bruises! The blood drive was in honor of childhood cancer.

I don't know if I told you guys but my Wi.sh Kid died November 15. It was shocking and sad. I really can't put it into words. Her biological dad showed up at the funeral. He wasn't there at all when she was sick. Her first stepdad who she considered her dad was there the whole time and her mom's husband was there. I hurt so much for her family. She is no longer in pain but they are left with this hole in their family.

Clingy is so special--not in a good way. The other day he told me that he couldn't be celibate b/c he is a man. I told him to go handle that b/c I can't help him. He thinks that I may consider a cut friend. Dude, been there, done that got a broken heart to show for it. I am good. Then he was like big girls want him but he doesn't want them. All again: ok and? He clearly wants more than I can give. I am selfish.

Crush and I went on a lunch date last week. I enjoy spending time with him.

So my pictures from my photo shoot are back and I love them. The phototgrapher did a wonderful job. If you want to see all of them send me your email and I will email the album invite to you (if I actually know you via this blog--so strange men don't try it).

I am almost finished with my Christmas shopping! My Christmas list is pretty short this year: Tiff.any's I Love You ring, digital camera, Vicky's Secr.et Pi.nk collection U.GA and Ha.mpton items.

Until next time
Smooches,
Coco, Esq.

Happy Wednesday

2009-11-11T17:08:00.004-05:00

I don't have much but since I have time on my hands I thought I would come out and say hi!

So I have gone to dance class two weeks in a row. I love it. Last week I was the only person in class but I loved it. I did some ballet. I missed ballet so much and I needed it b/c my posture has gotten terrible. If you have posture issues go find a ballet class! Heck if you have issues with your middle section find a ballet class. Yesterday we learned the tango. Danced with a cutie my age. I love dance!

I have a photo shoot at the end of the week. I am so excited--I have been trying to take pictures for forever!

So the new guy is a little sketchy. I haven't quite determined if he will make it another week. He is clingy. I don't do clingy so this time next week there will probably be nothing else to say about him.

I have one more week of class left and then I will be done--I am so excited about that. It means that I can do what I want on Mondays and Thursdays after next week.

Cobwebs & Dust

2009-11-04T19:25:00.003-05:00

Yeah this blog has cobwebs and dust on it. I know I keep saying I am going to do better but I am just trifling.

I just want you all to know that life is good. I am working two jobs and just busy. I love it for the most part. I wish I was in a different locale but hey I have two jobs. Keeping the positivity going!

So I have been meeting men lately. I am so used to having a drought but lately I have been doing well. I met two guys the other day. One actually went to undergrad with me. I kept looking at him and he looked so familiar. He finally told me he went to Hampton. He is a cutie. He is a year younger than me--not an issue at all. The other guy appears to be clingy as hell. The attention is nice but kinda scary especially since I have dealt with somewhat crazy guys in the past. We shall see how that goes. There is also a guy that I have known for a couple of years who decided to tell me that he is feeling me. It was slightly awkward but he is a cool guy so why not try a date?

So I really don't want to talk about my job on here for fear that somehow, someway my boss will find the site but I can no longer hold it in. This guy is the most unorganized person. He thinks I am incompetent when it comes to simple things like printing out cases from legal research engines but he thinks I am supposed to know about isht I have never done before. I want to slap the crap out of him somedays. He is a nice person just a horrible boss. He is so last minute. He waits until the day before to open someone's file to prepare for court. Just wrong!

I forgot to tell you guys about the wedding. It was actually very nice. The we.dding coordinator was a hot mess! We eventually found out she go.ogled how to be a we.dd.ing pla.nner. She didn't charge the br.ide--I think she wanted to get her feet wet. One of the bridesmaids sat her down and went over what needed to happen during the wedding. She was so bad that the groomsmen said something and you know men don't notice much about that stuff. My feelings were slightly hurt b/c I was supposed to be maid of honor but the bride felt that she was expected to pick her cousin for the position. Well by the time of the wedding her cousin was demoted b/c she was doing anything as maid of honor. You know I take such duties seriously.

That is all I have!

Smooches,
Coco, Esq.

I Am Just Trifling

2009-10-17T17:18:00.002-04:00

So I disappeared again but I think this time I have good reason to have done so. In the past few weeks I started a new job all while continuing my current job. I am working two jobs, taking dance and taking a tax class. I am all over the place. I still have somewhat of a social life.

So let me catch you up on some of my life. My new job is working at a small law firm. I am hoping I can gain some experience but that is still up in the air. My boss never completes a sentence and I never know if he wants me to come to work the next day so we shall see. The secretary is pretty nice and at least I have someone who is a witness to the craziness.

Last weekend I went to Charlotte for a bridal shower and had so much fun. My linesisters and little sisters were there. We got to reminisce and make new memories. Love it!

So I came back to my state and went to visit a friend before I planned to go home Sunday evening. While I was hanging out I got phone calls and texts informing me that my email had been hacked into. Some psycho had hacked into my account and was sending out an email to all my friends saying that I had been robbed at gun point and needed money. I have two gmail accounts so I went into my other account to confront the individual b/c the idiot was still logged into my account. They told me they loved me and that is why they were going to impersonate me. I am just afraid that they are going to impersonate me as an attorney. I just got the license so I can't have that. I tried to handle as much as I could on Sunday and handled the rest on Monday. I feel safer but not completely safe.

Up until Thursday I was having nightmares about identity theft. I didn't sleep well most of the week but last night I finally got enough sleep and feel rested.

I feel like I am leaving something out but I can't remember what that is right now. I will do better--I promise!

Smooches,
Coco, Esq.

Why My Cousin Got Married

2009-09-26T21:26:00.003-04:00

Remember this post:
http://cocohassomethingtosay.blogspot.com/2008/06/my-cousin-got-married.html
Well I finally found out why that cousin got married so quickly and gasp she wasn't pregnant. She did get pregnant later but that isn't why she got married. So one day this summer I was talking to my dad's live in girlfriend and we were discussing my cousin's marriage. So I randomly stated that I wondered why they got married when they did. Well she told me she asked and got an interesting answer (in my opinion). So my cousin tells her that they got married b/c when he proposed both of their leases would be up in about 7 weeks and they didn't want to shack up (I ain't mad at them for that). So they decided to plan the wedding and get married in 7 weeks. This was hilarious to me b/c she told this all to my dad's live in girlfriend who has been living with my dad since like 1987. Yes you read that right, 1987!

Lazy Saturday

2009-09-26T19:05:00.001-04:00

Today I was uber lazy! I stayed in the bed until almost 12:00 and didn't get dressed until after 1:00 p.m. I watched football and played on the internet.

So the real purpose of this post is to talk about how sports commentators irritate the crap out of me. They talk like they know what is best but sometimes it just doesn't work on the field. Today I heard the worst thing I think I could have heard. I was watching the Alaba.ma v. Arkan.sas game and the commentator says, "His father is currently incarcerated." WTF? That has what to do with the game. So I put this on my fac.eb.ook status and one of my friends tells me that she heard another commentator say something to the effect of "this kid was abandoned by his parents as a boy so dropping a few passes isn't the worst thing that's happened to him". Once again WTF? So unnecessary!

I am actually posting....

2009-09-22T21:22:00.003-04:00

Yeah so I think I am back in the blog game

So back to the car situation--hot mess I still have no car! So another door was purchased but someone decided to buy a door from a different year. This happened last Monday. You think someone would ask some questions but no, none of that. Then the idiot body shop guy puts it on. He tries to make it work and then he plays dumb today and says you need a door that is the same year as the car. Now I have never been mechanically inclined but something told me when I found out the door year and car year didn't match it wasn't going to work out. I said nothing b/c like I said before I am not mechanically inclined. I have no words!

After my purchases this week I can buy nothing else. I have spent too much money

I am so excited about my hair appointment tomorrow. I am now trying to stretch out relaxers. I have gone without a touch up for 10 weeks (thats a lot for me). 2 years ago you couldn't convince to wait more than 6 weeks. My hair is much healthier.

I got the shoes for the wedding I am in--I am going to be fierce! I am so conceited!

I started dance class last week--the instructor got me. It was funny b/c she took me back to my ballet days. She killed my calves. I couldn't walk right until Saturday. We aren't having class for this week and next week b/c she had to go out of town but I am excited for the next class. The class is ballet warm up and modern dance. The other people in class are dancers on the local college's drill team so I will get to learn their field routine. They aren't Ebony Fire but who is? (Rock the blue and white!)

That is all!

Smooches,
Coco, Esq.

Random Ramblings

2009-09-14T12:29:00.004-04:00

It has been so long since I last blogged--sorry. I had too much going on in my life.

My car is a piece of crap--I had to finally say it. I am currently in a rental car b/c the car needs a new driver's door. Who knows when I will get the door.

So the past few weeks I have been busy working, doing De.moc.ratic stuff, planning a Super Sweet 16 for my wish kid. I also started a tax preparation course--I figure after this year tax debacle I should probably learn about taxes. I am also starting dance class this week.

Why are we always quick to scream rac.ism about certain situations? I know there are certain situations that are just rac.ist like your boy Jo.e Wil.son but not everything is rac.e related. After Ka.nye's outburst last night some people were like M.TV is ra.cist b/c Be.yonce didn't win but I disagree. Fans voted for the videos and I am going to go out on a limb to say that T Sw.ift's fans were voting like crazy and Be.yonce's fan not so much. I just want to say that the only video I actually saw was B's and I wasn't that impressed since half of the moves she got from some black dance team--I can say that b/c I was an assistant coach for a high school team and I actually knew some of the moves from the video when I first saw the video.

Jan.et Jac.kson did a beautiful job last night--she is definitely still hurt but I am glad she still has it. The girl can dance!

The sweet 16 was beautiful. When the photographer puts up the pictures on her site I will let you know. The birthday girl was estatic. She really enjoyed herself but she got a little sick during the party and had to change into her pjs.

Unfortunately the week before the party we found out her cancer has returned and it appears that she is terminal. Please keep her in your prayers b/c God is in the miracle performing business.

Also I got to hang out with blogger Jameil and Adei von K. My linesister/their friend got married La.bor Day weekend. They are truly the lives of the party. It was a wonderful weekend.

That is all for now but I will get my schedule together and work blogging in much better than before.

Smooches,
Coco, Esq.

Catching Up

2009-08-26T19:19:00.002-04:00

I sincerely apologize--life is hard working a job where you travel daily. I still love my job though.

Last week was bad! I hurt myself two weeks ago exercising. I strained the muscle in my back. I didn't know what was wrong so I walked around with a hurt back for a week. I thought it would go away but it didn't. I finally decided to go to the me.dstop and get checked. I was so afraid the doctor was going to tell me my kidney was failing or something but she said it was a muscle strain. It was great to have a diagnosis but the pain was awful. It actually still hurts somewhat but it feels much better than before. Well since I was in pain last week I didn't do a lot of work (going to hate my paycheck with that week on it). Oh well.

Anyhoo my weekend started off great and then became an epic fail. Friday night I went out to dinner to celebrate a friend's birthday. The company was nice and the service was horrible. After the dinner we drove back to my friend's house it would seemed like a monsoon. It was awful but I knew that meant I would sleep well (at least I thought I would). I got in the bed and was harassed via BBm by a frog. He told me that I was playing games with him and blah blah blah. My dingy behind argued with him for about an hour and a half. Eventually I just told him that he was interrupting my drug induced sleep (good drugs for a muscle strain). Early the next morning I saw part time boo and then went back to sleep. The only reason why I saw him so early was because he was leaving to go to his hometown and I wouldn't get a chance to see him until the middle of September.

After I woke up I went to the spa to get a massage--the best thing ever! I am still thinking about that massage. After the massage I went back to sleep and then ran errands. I went to see my dad to pick up a part for the car. I got back to my resting place around 10 and went to bed. I slept until 9 the next morning. I woke up and went to church. Got a great word--Live for the future was the basic premise. Today may not be great but you know God has so much in store for you. Know that your future is bright and speak of it.

After church we went to IH.OP and then I slept. I got up and got ready to go. I should have left then b/c it got bad. I ended up going to a bbq but didn't eat b/c I saw the food prep going down--ewwwwww! We ended up going to a restaurant and the waitress got my order wrong. I got a little extra but it so wasn't worth the long wait. I got back from the restaurant and get ready to leave. I go aside and my front tire is flat. So I was ready to change the tire myself and then I couldn't find the jack. Let's figure out if the insurance has roadside assistance--it doesn't. My friend is going to call hers but I have decided that it is too late and dark for me to leave. Male "friend" comes over and is wishy washy about changing the tire. I still can't find the jack. They dip. 30 seconds after they dip I find the jack. They won't turn around b/c they are on their way to another bbq. No longer male friends. Complete stranger from original bbq comes over to change flat tire. Very nice and gentlemanly--his mother raised him right! I get in the bed and go to sleep around 11:30. Must drive back home in the morning! I make it home safely but the spare is going flat :-(

Yeah that was my weekend. After that my life has been pretty boring. I wish I had more for you but I don't.

Smooches,
Coco, Esq.

Update

2009-08-18T20:33:00.003-04:00

I know it has been so long since I blogged but I have been busy and when I am not busy I am sleepy/tired. I just wanted to update you guys on my life.

It is official that I spread myself to thin. Last week I was all over the place. I picked up two new activities--cheerleading coach/helper and creative writing with a neighborhood after school program.

Last week my back was aching really bad (actually it is still bad) and I didn't know what was going on. I finally went to the doctor yesterday and she diagnosed me as having a strained muscle. I was so thankful b/c I really thought it may have been kidney issues. I couldn't deal with that especially since I don't have insura.nce. The meds have made me extremely sleepy. I actually took a nap earlier today and could go to sleep right now.

My love life is pretty nonexistent. Part time is still around and he has been quite a sweetie lately. The crush isn't really trying to deal with me b/c my friend told him not to mess with me unless he was serious. I am happy that my friend was looking out for my best interests. Others probably would have just let it go.

The job is going well. Just a lot of leg work.

I keep forgetting to pay my bills. Every since I started my job I completely forget. I started writing it down but I still forget.

Ok that is all I have but when I come back I want to talk about the creative writing that I am helping with.

Smooches,
Coco, Esq.

Anger Management

2009-08-08T12:13:00.000-04:00

I got the best laugh from this--I hope you do too!

When you occasionally have a really bad day,
and you just need to take it out on someone,
don't take it out on someone you know,
take it out on someone you don't know,
but you know deserves it.

I was sitting at my desk when I remembered
a phone call I'd forgotten to make.

I found the number and dialed it..

A man answered, saying
'Hello.'

I politely said,
'This is Chris.
Could I please speak with Robyn Carter?'

Suddenly a manic voice yelled out in my ear
'Get the right f***ing number!'
and the phone was slammed down on me.

I couldn't believe that anyone could be so rude.

When I tracked down Robyn 's correct number to call her,
I found that I had accidentally transposed the last two digits.

After hanging up with her,
I decided to call the 'wrong' number again.

When the same guy answered the phone, I yelled
'You're an asshole!'
and hung up.

I wrote his number down with the word 'asshole' next to it,
and put it in my desk drawer.

Every couple of weeks,
when I was paying bills or had a really bad day,
I'd call him up and yell,
'You're an asshole!'

It always cheered me up.

When Caller ID was introduced,
I thought my therapeutic 'asshole'
calling would have to stop.

So, I called his number and said,
'Hi, this is John Smith from the telephone company.
I'm calling to see if you're familiar with our Caller ID Program?'

He yelled
'NO!'
and slammed down the phone.

I quickly called him back and said,
'That's because you're an asshole!'
and hung up.

One day I was at the store,
getting ready to pull into a parking Spot.

Some guy in a black BMW
cut me off and pulled into the spot I had patiently waited for.

I hit the horn and yelled that I'd been waiting for that spot,
but the idiot ignored me.

I noticed a 'For Sale' sign in his back window,
so I wrote down his number.

A couple of days later,
right after calling the first asshole
(I had his number on speed dial),
I thought that I'd better call the BMW asshole, too.

I said,
'Is this the man with the black BMW for sale?'

He said,
'Yes, it is.'

I then asked,
'Can you tell me where I can see it?'

He said,
'Yes, I live at 34 Oaktree Blvd , in Fairfax ..
It's a yellow ranch style house and the car's parked right out in front.'

I asked,
'What's your name?'

He said,
'My name is Don Hansen,'

I asked,
'When's a good time to catch you, Don?'

He said,
'I'm home every evening after five.'

I said,
'Listen, Don, can I tell you something?'

He said,
'Yes?'

I said,
'Don, you're an asshole!'

Then I hung up,
and added his number to my speed dial, too.

Now, when I had a problem,
I had two assholes to call.

Then I came up with an idea...

I called asshole #1.

He said,
'Hello.'

I said,
'You're an asshole!'
(But I didn't hang up.)

He asked,
'Are you still there?'

I said,
'Yeah!'

He screamed,
'Stop calling me,'

I said,
'Make me,'

He asked,
'Who are you?'

I said,
'My name is Don Hansen.'

He said,
'Yeah? Where do you live?'

I said,
'Asshole, I live at 34 Oaktree Blvd , in Fairfax ,
a yellow ranch style home and
I have a black Beamer parked in front.'

He said,
'I'm coming over right now, Don.
And you had better start saying your prayers.'

I said,
'Yeah, like I'm really scared, asshole,'
and hung up.

Then I called Asshole #2.

He said,
'Hello?'

I said,
'Hello, asshole,'

He yelled,
'If I ever find out who you are...'

I said,
'You'll what?'

He exclaimed,
'I'll kick your ass,'

I answered,
'Well, asshole, here's your chance.
I'm coming over right now.'

Then I hung up and immediately called the police,
saying that I lived at 34 Oaktree Blvd, in Fairfax ,
and that I was on my way over there to kill my gay lover.

Then I called Channel 7 News
about the gang war going down in Oaktree Blvd in Fairfax ..

I quickly got into my car and headed over to Fairfax ..

I got there just in time to watch two assholes
beating the crap out of each other
in front of six cop cars, an overhead news helicopter
and surrounded by a news crew..

NOW I feel much better.

Anger management really does work..

I've Missed You Guys

2009-08-04T12:35:00.002-04:00

It has been so long and so much has happened but I don't remember it b/c I am always so tired. Working is for the birds. I am happily paying my bills every month so that gets me through. I am going to do better. I am going to make it my business to post at least 2 times a week and this counts as 1 this week.

I will try to remember to write stuff down so I can tell you all about it.

Smooches,
Coco, Esq.

Randoms of Coco

2009-07-16T20:06:00.003-04:00

Yeah I have been gone long but I had to come back--I have missed my lovelies!

I have been a bad girl! I am going to leave it at that. I really like the crush! He puts a smile on my face. Got your girl humming.

Mr. Girlfriend in the background called me back as I expected. I was just talking to him and then I realized who I was talking to. I took his phone number out of my phone so he caught me off guard. He invited me to some party that I am sure I will not be attending.

I bought the fiercest shoes the other day when I was supposed to be working. I actually was working but I took my 15 minute break a little early. I meant to take a picture so you could see them but that didn't happen.

So the other day it was confirmed that my lying ex best friend has two babies. I am beginning to think that is the real reason why she disappeared. She found out she was pregnant and couldn't come up with a lie to cover it up.

Since I started working nothing exciting is going on in my life which means I can't really entertain you guys :-(

That is all I have!

Coco, Esq.

They Made Me Do It

2009-07-06T23:18:00.003-04:00

So I wasn't going to blog but men made me do it. Can I just say that there are a lot of men out there who ain't isht and I experienced more than my fair share in the past 3 days. I decided to give up on my dream team b/c I was just setting myself up to be pissed and then the isht hits the fan. Mind you none of these men are on the dream team so at least that makes me feel better. Ok I will stop rambling and tell the stories.

Saturday night I went to a bbq. My friend wanted to play spades and I didn't want to. I know how to but I am risk averse so chances are we would lose and I hate to lose. Well 3 guys were playing with my friend. One of the guys got up and left with his girlfriend and another guy sat down to play. So we are all laughing and joking. The guy I was sitting next to was flirting with my girl and his partner was flirting with me. So eventually I ended up sitting next to the partner. We exchanged numbers/BB Pins. He was nice and relatively attractive. He was actually very nice, very pleasant personality. He said we should get together for lunch the next day and I was like cool if I am free. Sidebar: At some point during the game my friend's spade partner took it upon himself to have a conversation about my breasts. I was like whatever but what bothered me about that was that he was married. I mean I know men stare at body parts but please don't disrespect your marriage b/c of my breasts. What bothered me even more about him was it was his birthday and he wasn't with his wife and infant. He was concerned about my breasts. End of sidebar. Well anyhoo my friend eventually figured out that the guy who got my number was her fac.ebook friend. So of course on Sunday I did my fac.ebook detective work. Imagine my surprise when it said that he was engaged. You know engaged to be married. I just can't deal. And his friend who was flirting with my friend was engaged as well. I just can't deal. I will let that marinate!

So a couple of weeks ago I told you about the new youngin. I knew that wasn't going anywhere but I needed someone to go to the movies with me so he seemed like the perfect candidate. (I only have one friend in this area which is why I am always in Atlanta.) So I sent him a text telling him that he owed me a movie. Your boy said he needed to put me on some game. Ok whatever! He then calls me and was like yeah that movie won't be happening b/c I am in a relationship. Can I just say you could have sent that via text? So then his girlfriend starts talking in the background. Did you call me for her benefit? I didn't need to hear her or him for that matter. Then he tells me that I need to work on my approach to men. I was thinking to myself I just really needed someone to sit in the movie theatre with me so I could look over and say, "Did you see that?". It is not cute to talk to yourself in the movie theatre. I just can't deal.

I prefer to deal with men who are honest and let you know up front that they are afraid to commit. At least I know what I am about to embark on. I know it is going nowhere ever so I can play and go on about my business.

I just can't deal!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! My nerves are bad!

Coco Esq.

My Sincerest Apologies

2009-06-27T21:52:00.002-04:00

I disappeared and I haven't blogged in 15 days. I actually tried to blog last week but after I typed up the blog blogger ate it. I was too tired to do it again.

I started my new job. I like it but the pay is horrible. Definitely gives me an idea on what I want to do career wise.

Last week I blogged about a local tragedy. I still want to share the story so I guess I will. Two Fridays ago one of my mother's friends was killed along with her mother. They were allegedly stabbed to death by the mother's 54 year old niece. The mother had just turned 85 and the family had planned a big celebration. On the day of the celebration they had to bury her. What makes the tragedy so much worse was they were found by their grandson/great-grandson who also had found his mother dead (from an illness) about 5 years ago. It is still shocking and hard to comprehend. Please pray for the family.

I honestly have no words about Michael. Michael was my first concert. I went to the Thriller concert in Houston, TX. I actually remember him performing "Thriller". I still don't completely believe it but while they have been playing all his music I figured out what my favorite MJ song is. I love "Rock With You"! That song describes to me how I feel when I dance. I just want to say that Michael was the greatest entertainer. I refuse to speak anything bad about him. His issues were his issues and there is nothing we can do about it. Respect the man's genius.

I had a stupid girl moment last week. During my stupid girl moment I had some very supportive friends. Thank you guys! I will try not to do that ever again.

Also I opened up last week and I just didn't get the acknowledgement I expected it but it did make me see things in a different perspective. I appreciate the acknowledgement I received but I doubt that I will open up again. Thanks for the experience.

I have a friend who I love to death but I have determined that the feeling is not mutual. I serve a purpose in that person's life. The need for me is not often so this friend rarely communicates with me. I can call this friend and chances are I will get voice mail or I will call you sometime next week. Something finally clicked in my head and now I don't even call this person. I still love her but it is definitely from afar. It just proves the point that certain things change people.

I am going to kill Bridezilla. The $148 dress is now on sale for $59.99 and guess who can't get her money back b/c of the 30 day return policy.

Can I just say I am not surprised?!!!!! I gave the sideeye on day 1. I am shocked that it blew up so quickly but definitely not surprised that it happened.

That is all!

Smooches,
Coco

Let It All Out

2009-06-12T13:04:00.002-04:00

I think I am getting tired of blogging.

So my good news that I didn't want to share until I knew I was absolutely sure is I have a job. It isn't in the legal field and I am cool with that. I actually have training next week so I will be away from my computer all day long. Pray that I can stay awake!

So part-time boo is all up under me (yes I said "all up under me"). I have heard from him almost every day of this week and part of last. He is just all over the place.

Crush is going to slowly drive me crazy. I actually saw him on Wednesday and we talked about our situations. He basically told me that he had commitment issues. I understand and I was walking in with my eyes wide open. So in my mind we were cool. Then I talked to him yesterday and I said I wanted to hang out. He then gave me the run around. So I called him on it and he told me that he didn't want to get attached to me. I cannot deal with him.

Last night I met a youngin. I don't know why the youngins flock to me. At least he is a presentable youngin. He is a cutie and he is quite intelligent. He is also from the Midwest and a gentleman. His only flaw is he worships Ko.be. I can let that go since probably the next time I see him the playoffs will be over.

I honestly feel like I don't fit in. Most people have friend groups by I find that I only truly enjoy one or two people in the group. It gets awkward for me. I think that is why I always invite all my friends to do stuff with me and none of them are alike. Oh well!

I need to get me together!

Randoms of Coco

2009-06-06T12:31:00.003-04:00

Sorry I didn't give you a dose of my normal Thursday blog but I was all over the place.

Thursday I had the opportunity to meet my newest wish child! It was great! She wants to have a fancy sweet sixteen. I am so ready to plan and dress up.

I went to the new hair stylist. It was interesting and I am going to give her another try.

Part time keeps popping back up and I don't know what is going on.

My philosophy on men is: They are like little kids at Christmas. They love their new toy and play with it every day for a little while. When they grow tired of the every day play they play with it every once in awhile. Ladies we are that toy they got for Christmas. That is why until they make a commitment keep it moving. I mean a real commitment. I know men who don't feel truly committed until they say I do but I hope that is not the case in your relationship.

Why do you get that feeling when an ex crosses your mind? That feeling of anger or loss but you know that if he showed up today, free and clear, you would run in the other direction.

I am in a comfortable place right now. I can't explain it but I just am.

I finally got my dad's car and it works well. I am so happy to be able to come and go as I please.

Last Saturday I helped my friend move out of her apartment. That was pretty interesting.

Also last Saturday I went out to eat with one of my law school roommates. She is such a sweetie. She took me out to celebrate a few things including a late birthday dinner. We went to a restaurant that allegedly had a menu that only contained items under 475 calories. I refuse to believe that my meal was under 475 calories but it was great. I had crab stuffed shrimp. It was very well seasoned and very filling. Afterwards we did a little shopping. I exchanged the shoes my stepmom got me and bought some cute jeans from BR. I love that store.

I have no more. My life is so boring!

Another Angry Black Woman Moment

2009-06-01T21:13:00.002-04:00

So I had another angry black woman moment. Actually it wasn't really an angry black woman it was just angry woman moment. Wanna hear it, here it goes:

Friday I had to drive to Atlanta and I knew I needed gas so I decided that I would stop at Krog.er's on my way to Atlanta. Well everybody else had the same idea. I drove up to the gas area and looked around to see what would be the easiest pump to get gas from. I saw one pump that had only one person at it. The woman had just pulled her car up to the pump after someone left. I had to drive up to the front of her car but I gave her enough room to go around me. She went to pay for her gas and then she began pumping. Let me just let you know I pulled up in front of her b/c unlike most cars B.MW puts their gas opening on the passenger side. There are some cars that have them on the passenger side but the average one is on the driver side.
So while the woman was pumping her gas this chick comes up behind her and then decides to pretend like she doesn't see me and goes to pay for her gas. That is when
I decide I am not letting that pass. I mentally decide that I sat there for all that time no one was going to get gas until I got gas. Normally I would have let it slide but who wants to get stuck in Atlanta traffic b/c someone took advantage of them? Well the lady finished pumping her gas and drove around me and the chick behind her pulled up. I pull up at the same time to ensure the pump doesn't reach her car. She then looks at me like I am crazy. I proceed to go off on her while sitting in my car. I make sure she knows that no one is getting gas until I get mine. She realizes that hey she just might be crazy and she decides it is in her best interest to move out of my way. You would think that would be the end of it but know this old white heffa decided she was going to do the same thing. That is when I lost it. If you are my fac.ebo.ok friend you now know where my whole "sense of entitlement" status comes from.
She pulls her vehicle up and tells me that she is getting gas. I make sure she cannot pull her car up far enough to pump. Then I am thinking to myself now if the last person didn't get gas do you really think you are. She gets out and tells me that she is getting gas and goes to pay for it. I sit in the car with it turned off to let her know she isn't getting gas from that particular pump. While attempting to pay for her gas she tells the attendant on me. Mind you I am sitting directly in front of the booth to pay for the gas so he saw me sitting there the whole time waiting patiently after the original lady paid for her gas. He looks at her like I can't do anything b/c she was there first. When she realizes he isn't going to do anything she walks up to my car to say something. I look at her like you must not know about me. She then tells me that she is going to get her gas. I tell her she won't be getting gas until I get mine b/c I was there before anyone else and that is how it works. She then tells me that everyone was facing the pump in the other direction. I proceed to tell her that my gas tank is on the passenger side and there is nothing I can do about that. She needs to talk to the manufacturer if she wants something done. She then realizes that the only way she was getting gas was to move out of my way. I meant it when I said that sense of entitlement isht stops with me on Friday. She was wrong and I wasn't going to let her get away with it.

I may have let her get the gas had she not told me that she was getting her gas and I basically needed to move out of her way. I could have dealt with it differently but I don't regret putting her in her place. It was obvious that I got there way before she did and the chick in front of her didn't get gas so there is no way she was if I had something to say about it. Maybe next time I will be nicer but she really tried me and I was fed up with the fact that certain people have a sense of entitlement.

Tell 'Em How You Feel Thursday

2009-05-28T22:56:00.003-04:00

I gotta speak first on the dumb broad in Philly! That was a hot mess to say the least. I just feel like black men should be able to sue her for that mess. I know they can't but seriously I wish they could. I know when every black person heard they were like why did she tell that lie. The first thing I thought was they are going to find that little girl dead and her mom decided the only way to get away with it was say a black man did it. I honestly don't know what that was. So you go to the airport where there are security cameras everywhere. Then you carry your behind to Dis.ney Wor.ld. That is just a hot mess. I am actually mad at the people at the counter--does the woman really look like her co-worker? I am thinking probably not. And did the co-worker say anything to the police once the chick was allegedly abducted. All I can say if you are going to make up a story at least plan better. Make up a description in your head and practice it. I just feel like CPS needs to take all the kids from her. She took the little girl out of school weeks ago and no one found this odd. She left her 15 year old and eight month old. The woman is not playing with a full deck. The 15 year old was asking the men to return her mom and sister safely. What the hell kind of mother are you that you worry your child like that? She took that little girl and didn't inform her dad. There is a special corner in hell for her. She will be sitting next to Su.san Sm.ith and the guy from Boston (I saw the Lif.etime movie).

So I found a dress that cost 80 dollars more than the one I picked out. It is a cute dress but of course I am pissed at the price. The only reason why I am ok with is that it is made out of a very similar material and I am going to laugh on the day of her wedding. I know that is evil but she brought it on herself. She approved the dress and it told what the material it was when I emailed it to her. Lesson learned--pick out your bridesmaids' dresses. But I already knew that so it was no lesson. To answer the question about why she didn't pick the dresses--she told us she wanted us to look glamourous and elegant in a dress that we felt we looked that way in. Uh, let's go with no! When I get married I want my bridal to look nice but we can go to the store and try on dresses and I will make the decision. The real problem is she doesn't want to come back to Georgia and do such things. Half of her party is in Georgia and the other half is in Maryland with her. She didn't want to come back to Georgia until the wedding actually--which I find to be stupid but that is just me. I will be all up and through my planning if I don't trust my planner but then again I am a control freak.

My dad held me hos.tage this past weekend. I did get to spend time with his girlfriend. She is a really cool person now that I am older. She bought me some jewelry as a late birthday present. She also bought me some jeans and shoes. I am supposed to go to a party with her thrown by her sorority.

I think I may have found a new hair stylist. I go to her on Tuesday--keep your fingers crossed for me!

I have been busy this week--I have had 2 closings and will have another one tomorrow. My dad finally gave me the car but I have to take it back to get it worked on some more. He pissed me off about the car though. He said he was giving it to me in its condition b/c my mom was pressuring him. Not the case at all. I didn't even comment b/c nothing nice was going to come out.

Thanks you guys for the words about my degree. I guess my frustration was that I went to law school to practice and never really thought about careers outside of practicing. I have tunnel vision like that. It is pretty bad. I am working on it though.

I haven't seen crush in weeks. I am going through withdrawal :-(

That is all,
Coco, Esq.

Tell 'Em How You Feel Thursday

2009-05-21T14:22:00.006-04:00

Hi all!

It has been one of those weeks--I have felt truly anti-social. I have talked to maybe three friends this week. I love those girls--they brighten up my day!

My new favorite blog is www.browngirlgumbo.com . Not just because I won a contest but because BGG shows all the cutest and latest in fashion and beauty care. Earlier this week I won a bottle of Bio-O.il. So excited!

I am going to cut Bride.zilla. After I find a dress that is not cheap I am throwing my hands up. All I have to say is if you get married please pick out your bridesmaids dresses (I know anyone else would do this but I just wanted to share that with the world).

One of my linesisters got engaged this week. The engagement story was pretty cute. Her mom said she was coming to visit in the middle of the week with her grandmother. She didn't really want to be bothered but she was like cool I guess I will go. Her mother then says she is running behind schedule and asked her to get a table at the restaurant. She gets to the restaurant and gets a table for three. She sits down and then three men come up to the table--the host, the busboy and her boo. Busboy removes the third place setting and the boo is seated. He gives her a piece of paper to read out loud. It is an email she sent to him about why she wanted to marry him b/c he had asked her that question two days before. She answered but he really wasn't satisfied with the answer. She decided she would email him. When she got to the end she realized that he was about to propose. He proposed and she said yes! Isn't that beautiful?

I am saying this now--if you don't want me to voice me opinion then don't speak about the issue in my presence or at least tell me you don't want my opinion. I am and always have been one to speak my mind. I don't think that is going to stop the older I get--more than likely it is going to get worse.

I have good news in the works and will share with you in a few days or weeks when I get the final say so.

Also I think I made a mistake when I went to law school. I am so not happy with the profession which is probably why I haven't been too pressed to find a permanent job. I should have let law school when I had the opportunity. I didn't want to be a quitter because that would have honestly been the first thing I ever quit. I think I want to go back to school so I am going to take the next six months to research the decision. If I decide that I want to go back to school I can apply in January and start in Fall 2010. I still want to practice law just so I will not have wasted my degree but my heart isn't in it.

I saw the ex boo this past weekend. I blame the crush for that one since he was out of town. It was interesting to say the least. Still no resolution but oh well.

I am in desperate need of a new salon. My hair was a bush for two weeks. I let my stylist do my hair this week b/c I needed a relaxer. So we had been discussing why my hair was frizzy. This nut told me that it was frizzy b/c I take showers and the steam does that. That may have been ok if I didn't keep my hair wrapped until after I put my clothes on. My friend who is a teacher had a better explanation. So sad.

I need a vacation! I want to go somewhere that I only know one or two people so I can spend quality time with one or two people and not feel guilty about not seeing other people. MJ can I come visit you? I also want to go visit Chicago. I think I will do that before the end of the year. One of my close friends wants to go so I figure we can make it a mini vacation.

I don't have anymore for you today

Smooches,
Coco

Tell 'Em How You Feel Thursday

2009-05-14T16:01:00.002-04:00

I support you but I don't always agree with your decisions!

There are some really great guys out there--my problem is none of them live near me. My crush from college said the sweetest thing to me the other day. Like him so much.

I can't cuddle with crush this weekend which may lead me to call the ex--it has been so long. I am trying but I repeat it has been so long. I didn't even get to celebrate the swearing in of the POTUS among other things. Don't you think that is a good way to celebrate.

I was talking to one of my favorite internet friends (Hey Midori) and we were talking about people having unprotected s.ex. Can someone please explain that to me? We are both confused so I thought I would ask the general public. I mean do you know his every move? Why is he not your boyfriend (for me it needs to be husband)? I read an article earlier this week and this guy said he had an s.ti and he still didn't use protection most of the time. He said when he had outbreaks he would just wear his boxers and the women rarely questioned it. Whiskey, Tango, Foxtrot????????????????????? He said since his diagnosis he has been with at least 20 women and they just don't question it after a couple of months. I remember one time I didn't want to be intimate I told dude I didn't see him put on protection and he was like I did it in the bathroom. Then I just said I don't want to but at least he was using protection. Cover that thing up at all times of s.ex if you want to get with me.

Sorry but I had to say that b/c it weighs heavy on my heart. I saw the funniest thing yesterday that made me think of the subject. Using no con.dom is gross. my vag.ina has a dress code.

Forgot to tell you--I still have no car. I knew how it was going down so I am not surprised. He really just doesn't want to give me his car. He has been trying to convince my mother to find me a used car. My mom shut that down quickly. She informed him that she had already purchased me a car and was not purchasing another. I ain't mad at her. It just irks me that he has an extra car sitting around and doesn't want to give it to me. He is always talking about me working but when the people I work for call I have to turn them down b/c I have no car. I have had to turn down at least 3 jobs this week. I know I am not entitled to the car but when you make a promise keep it.

I am playing the waiting game--hopefully next week I will have good news to tell.

It is time for me to find a new stylist. My hair looks like a hot mess. I took pictures on Sunday with my mom and you cannot tell we got our hair done on Thursday.

When I told SunFresh that I needed a pep talk not to call the ex boo this is what she said: Don't do da d*ck! That was so hilarious. Love her!

The Reception (From Hell)

2009-05-11T12:46:00.003-04:00

So I knew I would have stories to tell and I do!

So I should have known it was going to be a mess. I called the bride to get directions and let's just say hers were terrible. I drove at least 15 miles out of the way. I called her and told her that I was going home because she gave awful directions. (Gas is not cheap and it was hot as hell on Saturday. I had been driving for over an hour for a 30 minute at the most trip.) She made it seem like I would see the place from the road--not at all! I had to turn off the road and drive about 1/2 a mile.

I reach the location and try to remove the look of shock from my face. The reception was at a meeting place that just happened to be a double wide trailer connected to a small building. Hot mess!

So everyone is sitting around doing nothing--she wanted us to be there 2 1/2 hours early so we could help set up and eat before the guests arrive. Well they set up before we got there. The caterer didn't get there until after we did and she left something at home so she didn't start setting up until about 4:30 or 5:00. The cocktail hour was supposed to start at 5:00.

This is where it gets really special. When I spoke to the bride on Thursday she informed that she didn't want to pay the caterer for wait staff so the hostesses would be serving. You know your girl was like whatever but in my head I made up my mind that I wasn't serving. So by the time 6:30 rolled around it was time to eat. Mind you the caterer was still setting up the food. I politely waited for all the other hostesses to position themselves so I could make sure I was just standing there looking cute and I did!

Eventually everyone got their food and then I could eat. I did end up pouring the punch which messed with my eating.

Later on I played bartender. That was fun but it didn't last long for me because it was so hot in there.

I saw so many different outfits. They ranged from cute to hot mess. The worst one was the girl who had to be about 200 pounds and had on a dress so short in the front that I could see her panties. Just hot mess!

Please if you want to have a reception please make sure you can afford everything that comes along with it. You know wait staff and photographer. Yeah I played amateur photographer too.

That is all I have for now!

Smooches,
Coco

Tell 'Em How You Feel Thursday

2009-05-07T20:33:00.002-04:00

Children today are off the d*mn chain!

My mom told me about some kids at her school. A little girl performed or.al s.ex on a boy in the hallway at school. This happened last week and they just found out about it today. The school called the girl's mother. The mother said she was going to beat her so bad that she might not live to see school tomorrow. The school called D.FACS. Now I personally would have let that one slid. Had it been my mom she would have just come to the school and beat me in front of the administration. Then dared them to call the authorities. If the authorities showed up she would have told them to keep me b/c she had no use for me after that.

I was so stressed yesterday and Tuesday. Let's just say my family needs to get their money issues together and leave me out of it. I don't have money lying around and if I did I wouldn't be giving it to irresponsible people (my uncle).

Thinking of the crush brings a smile to my face.

My dad is supposed to be giving me his car tomorrow. Wish me luck.

I really have nothing just because I was so stressed this week.

Until the next time!

Smooches,
Coco

Something I Rarely Talk About in Detail

2009-05-05T15:35:00.003-04:00

Int.imacy--I rarely talk about in detail and I don't think I will talk about it in detail today but I need to make some points.

I was talking to a friend yesterday and she told me her theory on women and no good men: Some di.ck is better than no di.ck. I had to seriously disagree with her. If that was the case I wouldn't be wandering through this period of cel.ibacy. Her response to that was you are cute and cute people don't settle. I wish I could go in detail about where the conversation started but that is her story to tell.

I still disagree with the theory b/c I know there are some people who are cute and still deal with no good men. It really stems from numerous things. I could name a few but the list is definitely not exhaustive.
1. Attachment/love
2. Some people think that inti.macy is the only way to show love
3. Insecurity
4. Settling
5. Some people enjoy the act that much

The point of this post is really to talk about how I had to evaluate myself and look at why I have dealt with craziness in the past. I had some insecurities that are still there but I refuse to let them keep me stuck in some bullisht. I thought I loved the individuals but it was definitely more of an attachment. Those are the two that I saw in my past. I enjoy the act but I realize that the stuff I dealt with was not worth the act. The sleepless nights and/or horrible dreams were enough for me to never deal with it again. There were other things but the sleepless nights/horrible dreams were on the top of the list. I finally got it. It took me awhile but I got it.

It seems like a light bulb went off in my head around my 28th birthday. It told me what I can and cannot accept. I am alone but I am happier alone than I ever was when there was a piece of a man in my life. I know now that when a man is in my life I need so much to happen before the act goes down. I need a connection outside of the act. I need to be able to delve into that connection multiple times before the act occurs. In the past I thought I had done these things but I was wrong. I learned a lesson which is why I am grateful for the individuals that I have dealt with.

Don't get me wrong I miss the last but he can't put forth the effort to be the man that I need, want or deserve. I wish women would learn to be by themselves and love themselves. It would do us all a world of good. I wish that we would hold men to higher standards. When we learn to put our happiness first the men that want to be in our lives would not be afraid of questions and concerns that we have.

Can I just say that as much as I hated the idea of the Ste.ve Harv.ey book I am now half of a fan. I am half of a fan b/c I skimmed a copy of the book. Right after I skimmed a copy of the book my friend went through something. A guy told her something that she already knew and I said as much. She then told me it is different when it comes from a guy. I figure Ste.ve is a guy and maybe someone will get it if it comes from him.

Tell 'Em How You Feel Thursday

2009-04-30T21:04:00.002-04:00

My granny is going to slowly drive me insane. Do you know that woman sat in this house today and did not eat? She slept most of the day and when she got out of the bed and went to eat something. Then she waits for my mom to call her on the phone to see if she wanted something to eat to tell her that her blood sugar was low. Then she asks me to go to the store to get her a Co.ke. I wanted to shake her. I know she had surgery but the more she stays in the bed the more tired she is. You would think she would attempt to at least sit in a chair but that is just asking for too much.

So you know I have been complaining about a job well I applied for a job and was supposed to receive a phone call. I have yet to receive the phone call. I can't call anyone b/c it is fede.ral gover.nment position and I don't know who to contact. Stuff like this drives me insane. Keep me in your prayers.

My cousin who had the ghe.tto wedding last summer is having a baby shower this weekend. What will I be able to tell you guys about the shower?

I really like the crush but he has somethings he needs to work through. While he does this I am in the background. Trying to meet new people but you saw my last post. My friend told me the next time I meet a guy I need to phone a friend. That was hilarious!

Some people make me want to shake them really hard. Maybe if I shake them they will see where they are going wrong. Not being judgmental at all--my pastor told me it is not judging if you are telling the truth. Love him!

I am proud of myself! I have been drinking 64 ounces of water daily. The funny part is if I don't drink water I don't drink anything. I guess that probably means I was walking around dehydrated.

I talked to the youngin the other day and he was telling me how he was supposed to go on a campus visit to Ya.le B School and he couldn't get off work. Well he emailed someone in admissions and when he finished the email he spelled his name incorrectly. That is hilarious. I got an email yesterday and the lady spelled her own name wrong.

That is all!

Smooches,
Coco

Men

2009-04-28T16:33:00.002-04:00

Ok even though I say I am mean I am pretty nice. I don't like to hurt people's feelings, men included. With that being said I am an equal opportunity phone number giver outer. I also figure if I give you my number that doesn't mean that I have to talk to you unless I want to. You would think that I would have learned my lesson from my past. Well the past two times has truly taught me a lesson or two.

Lesson #1: Just say no!
Lesson #2: Wear makeup so I almost look my age or purchase a t-shirt that says 25 and under need not apply!

Guy #1 was 20 and a bugaboo. I gave him my number b/c he was persistent and he seemed relatively nice. I specifically told him that he could have my number on the condition of not being a bugaboo. I played myself. Dude called me everyday for a week. I received a phone call morning, noon and night. I received texts. I even received a text with a picture of him. Is that how we do now? We send pictures of ourselves now. A hot mess and a half! He finally left me alone when I didn't respond to his bugaboo phone calls.

Guy #2 I met Sunday. I gave him my number. We talked yesterday and he earned his 3 strikes rather quickly. Strikes in order that they occurred. Strike #1 was the fact that he works at a car detailing place. I am happy that he is gainfully employed but he isn't even in management. Strike #2 was the fact that he has a baby on the way. I had just got finished telling him that I was allergic to children and he says he has a baby. I have to tell you the story as it was told to me. He had a long term relationship with his girl and they broke up. They decided they wanted to try and work it out. They got back together and decided it wouldn't work. She went to the doctor and found out she was 5 months pregnant. This was all told to me after I asked so we going around having unprotected sex. It was a yes or no question with an obvious answer that was never answered. Then he says he doesn't want anymore children which is cool with me b/c I am not trying to have any babies with him (even though we know I want children, just not his). Strike #3 was the age. I asked him how old he was and this child tells me 22. What am I going to do with a 22 year old. I have liked someone younger in the past but I knew he wouldn't be settling down anytime so it was all for fun (need to call him to see how he is doing).

With that being said I am not giving my phone number out anymore. I hate the idea of taking a guy's number and deciding to call him but that is what I need to start doing.

Anxiety

2009-04-26T16:41:00.002-04:00

I have noticed that I have been anxious lately. The problem with my anxiety is that only two people induce this anxiety--my mother and father. I hate this feeling. I really need a job so they will get off my back. Any suggestions? I have been applying to non-legal jobs and still no response. I just want to leave this place.

Tell 'Em How You Feel Thursday

2009-04-23T17:29:00.002-04:00

Can I just say that I really like Crush? Our conversations brighten my day!

Last night I had the worst se.x dre.am ever. I think it was a sign to leave the former boo alone. It involved him and one of my friends. I think she was on my mind b/c she asked all her friends to pray for her so she was the last person on my mind before I went to sleep.

When is too soon for a guy to sleep over at your house? I only ask this b/c I was talking with my friend who got married recently about this. She told me that her now husband spent the night at her house within the first month and then he never left. He also told her that he loved her within the first 5 days.

I am so happy for SunFresh and her boo. :-)

I am taking my nephew to the movies this weekend :-)

My dad is giving me his car to drive :-)

Can you tell I love smiley faces?

Yesterday I almost felt myself spiraling into a mild depression. All I wanted to do was cry. I didn't want anyone to say my name or ask me to do anything. I just wanted to be left. Two of my friends listened to me and encouraged me. I am so thankful for my friends. They really don't know how much I appreciate them. Most of my friends are like the sisters I never had. I really hated living as an only child.

It is starting to get hot in Georgia!

I really didn't have much to say but I wanted to say something.

Smooches,
Coco

Post 300!!!!!

2009-04-20T20:26:00.002-04:00

I probably should have done post 300 months ago but my blogging has fallen off. But the time has come to make that milestone. Post 300 is about The Crush/Cuddle Buddy.

So The Crush and I are also cuddle buddies as of this weekend. We decided to get together since I would be near him. He is such the perfect gentleman which made me crush on him even harder. Our get together was completely G-rated. We went to get some food and took it back to his house. We sat at the table and ate. He then gave me a tour of his house. He did a good job with picking his place--loved it. He definitely needs a woman's touch to add something to it but other than that it was pretty nice. After the tour we sat on the couch and watched a movie. During the movie we cuddled up on the couch. He rubbed my back and feet and held my hand. It was so cute! Swoon! We laughed and talked and I learned a little more about him.

With this interaction I realized that I am pretty bad at picking men. I have never "dated" a gentleman. So I am hoping that this continues at a nice, slow and easy pace.

The Day that Most of Working America Hates

2009-04-15T22:55:00.002-04:00

Today is April 15 and I thought I was doing fine. My friend finished up my ta.xes and she got me down to a nice amount to pay the government. I didn't expect to get a refund b/c the jobs that I have done in the past year didn't take out taxes since I was an independent contractor. I have enough business receipts and what not to get me down to a low double digit. Sounds great, right? Sure does!

Well I filed the return and low and behold it was rejected. I was shocked but I remained calm. I went to the service to determine why it was rejected. I got a nice message saying that someone had claimed me as a dependent. I was in a state of shock b/c we all know I am an old woman (not really) and no one should be claiming me. All I could think was someone has stolen my SS.N and I am a victim of fraud. I go to my mom and see if her ta.x pro put me down as a dependent. My mom said she would ask her tomorrow. I tell her tomorrow is the 16th and I need to know today. She calls her friend and the friend says she put me down as a dependent. Why would she put me down as a dependent when she knew I was filing my own ta.xes? She knew I was filing my own taxes. I had to file an exten.sion b/c there was no way I could shell out the amount I owe the government. I paid a little bit and I have six months to pay. I am hot!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Can these Tea Party people go far away? Do they know what is really going on? Sometimes I really hate the fact that I live in Georgia b/c there are some truly backward as.s people who couldn't tell you about ta.xes much less spell the word.

The Randomness that I See

2009-04-15T22:54:00.000-04:00

Facebook Convo:
Guy: man, what happened to Sunshine Anderson?
Girl: she's looming in the darkness sending Kerry Hilson and Cassie threatening anonymous messages like "you are next"

Randoms

2009-04-13T22:11:00.003-04:00

I love my granny but she is such a faker! She had a minor surgery last week. This morning I opened my bedroom door so that if she needed anything I could hear her. I went back to sleep. While I was asleep she was all over the house taking care of herself. Right after I woke up she couldn't get out of the bed for anything. Also she took it upon herself to not take her insulin this morning. It went downhill from there. Everytime something is wrong it is b/c she hasn't taken her medicine when she was supposed to.

The former boo dropped by to visit me. Shock and awe!

I picked up a bugaboo last week. If I don't answer the phone when you call why do you insist upon continuing to call. Better yet if you don't leave a message I have no reason to call you back. Either way I am irritated with him. He likes to send text messages also. And he doesn't use correct grammar--my biggest pet peeve.

My cousin had her 1 year anniversary party and it was a hot ghetto mess. First there was no formal invite. You either received a phone call or a text message. If that is how I get my invite then I take it you don't want a present or anything from me. I didn't quite no what to wear so I wore a cute strapless dress and some tights and cute heels. I was afraid of what I might see. So it was supposed to start at 7:00 p.m. Saturday night. I got there at 7:30 p.m. and there were 5 guests there. The wife (my cousin) was nowhere to be found. She was "delegating" stuff for people to do via someone else's cell phone b/c she didn't think her phone needed to be charged and it died. She eventually showed up about 8:30 p.m. which jacked up my plan to be gone by 9:00 p.m. People started showing up around the same time. A lot of people had on jeans and polos and just no party clothes.

Thanks jtbrown for the birthday love! I like your blog http://mississippimulatto.blogspot.com/

I am so happy for SunFresh but she already knows this!

I need to be better organized!

I wish I was more like my mother sometimes! She is a go getter. The only reason why I don't want to be like her is b/c she is pushy with her go getter moves.

I have more but the heck if I can remember today--my memory is hella bad.

Venting

2009-04-13T14:01:00.003-04:00

I have a couple of things to vent about but the main one is my friend who is getting married in October. So you know I told her that she needs to get it together with the dress. Well she is playing games so now is my time to play games with her. I have picked a dress and if she doesn't like it then guess what I won't be in the wedding. I am not giving any other options. I am just going to laugh when it is time for her to look at her wedding pictures. She has some seriously ghetto people in her wedding and they are going to look a mess. Of course I am going to be cute! I really just want to curse her out and be done with it but I am really trying to understand that she complains about everything so why wouldn't the bridesmaids dresses be the same.

Venting issue number 2 is something I really don't want to vent about b/c I don't want anyone to think I am jealous or hating. I am doing neither. I am actually reading the writings on the wall. I see that I get included in stuff when it is convenient for the individuals and I honestly don't need friends like that. I am not going to discuss but it hurts for sh*t to regularly be thrown up in your face. In my mind we are no longer friends and I am ok with that. I don't even have a need to be cordial any longer. Keep it moving!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Venting issue number 3 is the fact that it irks me when people won't let stuff go. I told someone something that happened forever ago. Over 5 years ago--before I even met the individual. I was a young and stupid and can say I haven't done it since that time. Whenever the opportunity presents itself to bring it up--which isn't often b/c I rarely go out--it is brought up. Please let it go!

My 28th Birthday

2009-04-01T20:52:00.003-04:00

My birthday was terrific! It started out a little rough (thanks Enter.prise) but it was great!

Friday I got my rental car and then I went to see my mom at work--we had to have our moment b/c it was a special day for her as well. She still talks about the labor. After that I drove to Atlanta and went to my friend's house. While waiting for her to get home I received phone calls from two of my favorite linesisters (I love them all but these two (5 and 25) definitely have a special place in my heart along with a few others). Shout out to 10 and 28--love you! I got a lot of text love and other phone calls. Once my friend came home we found her something to wear and we both got dressed. We then left to go to dinner. There was 9 of us for dinner. We talked and laughed. The waitress was terrible but all of my friends made up for her terrible service. After dinner we went to a sports bar--definitely not my speed (at least this one wasn't). My friend got harassed by a young man who said his job was a "history promoter". Yeah no one to this day know what that job is. We had a pitcher of margaritas and $1 shots. The shots were the best shots ever!!!!

On Saturday I woke up to get ready for my lunch. It was cloudy but I was still enjoying my day. I got dressed and made my way to the restaurant. The lunch was great! Blogland's finest was there--SunFresh and Mimi! They really made my day along with all of my other friends. I really enjoyed the lunch and all the laughs during it. We talked about so much including "promoting history" (maybe they knew what the job was). The waiter was horrible there as well. He just kept disappearing and there was no way to get someone to go get him b/c all of the non waiter/hostess workers didn't speak English. While we were at the restaurant it stormed off and on and the people outside were pretty entertaining. We eventually left after the sky closed up.

After dinner my friend and I went to visit my dad and his girlfriend. It was an interesting visit. We played Wii and learned about China. My dad's girlfriend had just come back from a business trip in China. While we were there she cooked. The woman can cook but I was still full from my lunch. She fried some fish and I think there was corn. She also had a very green salad and some crab legs. I so want a Wii right now!

Sunday was pretty uneventful. We tried to go to church but when we got there there was no parking in the parking lot or on the street. The last time we went to the church we had to struggle to find seats and we parked in the overflow parking so we knew there were no seats for us.

We went to IH.OP where this couple was having argument about the man slee.ping with some woman he used to work with. Now the current girlfriend works with him as well. I see some issues off the cuff but the conversation just got worse. The girlfriend was probably younger than me but the boyfriend was in his late 30s, early 40s. The other issue they were arguing about was whether the ex quit the job or was fired. One other issue was whether he paid the previous girl for se.x. It was a hot mess but quite entertaining. Why watch Mau.ry when you can go to IH.OP?

We went to visit her family and that was pure comedy. It makes me love my granny even more. Grannies will tell you anything!

I eventually went to see another friend and hung out with her for about 4 hours.

I got home and passed out! That is how I spent my birthday weekend. It was my best birthday since 20. I realize that I am extremely lowkey and it works for me. I like the simple things.

Time to Say Goodbye to 27

2009-03-26T18:11:00.003-04:00

So tomorrow is my birthday! I am so excited. I will be 28 and I wanted to write something deep but I will have to do that at another time. The stuff I see makes me want to talk about it.

Have you ever looked at someone's wedding pictures and wondered what the hell they were thinking when they picked their dress? I was looking at someone's picture and was trying to figure out where they got this 80s prom dress inspired wedding dress from. Also I saw someone's wedding pictures and their bridesmaids looked a hot mess--the dresses looked like garbage bags. And the bride was beautiful. I just don't get it. If I ever get married I promise not to do that to myself or my friends.

My feelings got hurt and I am sure I will get over it but it is going to take awhile.

I have read a couple of blogs in the past few days about men attempting to holla at women out of their league. I was thinking a lot about the subject and then I went to the library. Why did somebody that shouldn't look at me try to holla? And his approach was a mess. He was sitting at a computer and was like come here girl. Do I know you? Is that really how you approach people? Do women actually respond? I know I didn't. I am just glad he didn't leave his spot and follow me to the stacks.

I am lonely. I want to go on a date. Oh well!

I have been reevaluating my friendships. Some people really aren't my friends and I need to recognize that the relationships are one-sided.

I have been doing bad for Lent. I have eaten sweets three times that I wasn't supposed to. My plan was to cheat on my birthday but other than that I was going to be good. I know I shouldn't use my birthday as an excuse but I want sweets. I want cheesecake.

My mommy took me out for my birthday on Sunday and then she bought me a cute shirt and skirt. Can't wait to wear them. I was so excited to go to the store and buy something that fits in the waist. I rarely have that happen.

Why was I looking at a facebook friend's page and one of her favorite movies is a po.rn movie? I was like that name doesn't sound right so of course I googled it and you know what I got. I didn't look at any of the sites that appeared but I could tell from the short blurbs what it was about.

I still have the crush but I want it to go away. It is waste of my energy.

I will be back with something deep later.

Tell 'Em How You Feel Thursday

2009-03-19T21:01:00.003-04:00

My week has been interesting to say the least.

As some of you know--Fac.ebook friends and other friends my regional paper did a story on me b/c of my work with Dem Party of my county. I would post the link but it clearly has my govt. name in it and everybody doesn't need to know that. Well anyway when I posted the link on fac.ebook all the people minus one had truly positive things to say. So minus one had to say I don't know how I feel about a certain statement that I made in the article. Can you say hater? My statement that the hater was looking at was that a lot of young people voted b/c Ob.ama was the candidate and not b/c they knew about the dem platform. That is a true statement and I can also name some people who specifically voted for him b/c he was black. I am not saying that there weren't people who knew what they were voting but what I was saying was the platform itself is not clear. She pissed me off to the nth degree. I was a effin' poli sci major. I pay attention to all elections b/c I have a degree in the isht. When people have questions they ask me b/c they knew I studied that in college. I mean I don't like politics but I know politics. I was one of the few people who graduated with honors in my major. I know political theory. If you didn't get the picture I lived it for a minute there. The hate was so unnecessary.

My birthday is in 8 days. I can't wait to celebrate!

So the crush has officially been placed in the friend category. The situation isn't really working and as much as I like him I must move on.

So there is a guy that I have been talking to but he lives far away--definitely long distance. I have known him for years and I told him a few weeks ago that I had a crush on him back in the day. I haven't seen him since back in the day. So we flirt and send cute messages to each other. So now I am trying to figure out if I am feeling him now or am I feeling the person I remember. I really don't know if he has changed. Our original relationship was nothing like our current relationship. We were cool but not definitely not like we are now. We can talk about anything now.

Did you guys know I hate basketball? I hate March Madness. With football I know that there will be games on Saturday and Sunday but with basketball who really knows. I even like baseball and hockey (even though I would never go to a hockey game).

Have you ever just wondered about someone? I wonder about my dad all the time. That man just isn't all there. So he was talking to my mom about the article in the newspaper. This nut tells my mom that they may try to find some dirt on me and use it against me. He wanted to know where they got all the information in the article from. Ok I have to break that down with a couple of statements--
1. There is no dirt to be found on me. I am pretty squeaky clean.
2. I told him that the men contacted me and interviewed me--everything in the article he got directly from me (except for the error about where I went to law school).
Ok so back to this rambling that he did--he then tells my mom that my grown cousin (almost 50) is being taken to court for back child support b/c he goes to school board meetings and is concerned about his children. Ok I have to break that down with a couple of statements--
1. What does one have to do with the other?
2. He is being taken to court for back child support b/c he didn't pay it when he first owed it.
I could go on but I figure I will be going off for too dang own long! This is why I can't deal with it.

That is all I have for this week but I did enjoy giving it to you!

Smooches,
Chanelle

LOL (not really)

2009-03-12T23:54:00.003-04:00

Ok so did I ever tell you that my mother is overbearing and almost stalkerish--well she is. I love her but she could drive you to an early grave. I try to tell her only what I want her to know but she tries to get a little special with you and she will figure stuff out on her own. I had to share all of this with you before I told the story.

Ok well you know I have been unemployed for quite some time. I apply for jobs but no response (I finally got some real help and some great career advice). Well when I first graduated from law school I applied for a position with this psycho individual. Said individual is from my hometown and my mother actually contacted said individual before I knew the position was available (it would have been better had I just applied for the position and she looked at my resume). I interviewed and everything. This individual never sent me a rejection letter but reposted the job. I got the message but clearly my mother didn't. My mother said I should reapply since it may be a different time or something like that--once you reject me I keep it moving. Well since the time that I first applied the position has been reposted about 3 or 4 times. That tells me that something is wrong in that office b/c it is about a 2 year position and I applied 2 years ago. That means that said individual has gone through 3 or 4 individuals (one of the reasons I call her psycho).

Well anyway the position was reposted last week. My mom said I should apply and I am looking like that mofo rejected me once and not much has changed since then except my age and bra size so why would the mofo look at my stuff now. Well Momma Coco decided that she would inform individuals that I wanted the job even though I was adamant as they come about not wasting my energy on said individual. Well one of these individuals is an associate of said individual and he called her. Basically said individual made it clear that I would not get the position. But he didn't tell me that. He told me to apply to the position and he cc'd said individual in the email. So of course I felt obligated to apply even though I felt I was wasting resume paper and ink. I refused to waste postage so I made Momma Coco pay.

I shared all of this with Momma Coco to let her know that I knew said individual was psycho and Momma Coco needs to trust my judge of character. I am hoping that she lets go of her stalker tendencies. I am used to the overbearing but the stalker tendencies don't affect me--she doesn't stalk me, she stalks the employers. I go off on her about it but I guess she forgets or something like that. I guess that is what happens when you have an overbearing mommy.

Adults Being Adults

2009-03-09T22:04:00.002-04:00

Ok so I have been thinking about this for quite some time and finally realized I needed to discuss it.

What I have seen in the past couple of years is adults depending on others to take care of them. It irks the hell out of me. Especially when the adults are able-bodied. I will give an example:

This guy that I was feeling a couple of years ago got a nice job after graduating from college. He paid his way through college. He eventually got scholarship money but most of his education was paid for with loans in his name. He was younger than me but that isn't the point. His mother is probably in her early to mid 40s. Well he was helping his mom pay the bills. I find no problem with this because I understand if you want to help please help your family. What really bothers me is that he feels compelled to pay her bills. Like he must pay her bills. He also paid his sister's tuition to school. I really have no problem with that b/c she doesn't have to graduate college or whatever kind of school she was in with debt. I am just trying to figure out how was his mom paying bills before he started working and why can't she pay them now. She has the same job and all of that. Why is an adult parent depending on their child (adult or not)? He works in the financial world and he will probably get laid off soon and he was talking about how he can't just randomly not be working b/c he has to pay his mom's bill. What the hell is that? Can someone please tell me why? He is not really concerned about his situation but he is concerned about others. I mean is she creating more bills b/c he has been helping her for the past 2 1/2 years? Something should be paid off or she should be to the point of leaving well below her means since he has been helping her in the past.

Another example is Q on Mak.ing th.e Ba.nd--why the hell did his mom quit her job? Why does he have to pay the family bills? Once again I can understand wanting to help but should this all be placed on the shoulders of someone else. The other issue I have with that situation is where were they throughout the careers of any Ba.dB.oy artist? Did they miss these artists being broke and contract negotiations and what not? You will not quit your job b/c your son signed to anybody's record label especially that one. I need him and his bandmates to be putting money to the side considering who they are working with.

Am I selfish? Should I be happy that these men want to take care of their families? Or should I be more concerned about the fact that they may be struggling to take care of themselves because they are trying to help someone else?

I feel like when I am financially able I am going to help my family but I must first be able to take care of myself.

What do you think?

It's Back

2009-03-06T20:40:00.002-05:00

My computer is back! I am so excited but now I need to purchase some more memory b/c my computer is moving uber slow. (I like the word uber.)

Anywho it is time for me to be random.

The crush is a sweetie even though we rarely talk. I like him.

He isn't my only crush though. There's this guy that I talk to regularly. He is such a sweetie too. He is also good for a girl's self-esteem.

With that being said I need to find a man in my area code.

I hate the Lil' Kim Dancing with the Stars commercial. It bothers me and she bothers me.

I hate when people pretend like they know somebody when they really don't. When I ask you a basic question about that person you should be able to give me some kind of answer. Oh well!

My feelings were hurt but I will get over it. Hopefully I won't hold a grudge but I can't promise that I won't. We shall see in the coming months and years.

I feel so bad that I won't be able to go to her graduation. I need to tell her. I figure I can send a nice present and not go instead of going and being broke for too damn long.

I can't believe what you told me. That ain't it. Get yourself together. I didn't even know how to ask the question to get more information b/c it was shocking. Normally I am quick on my feet but I was just silent.

You know men are interesting. I can't say I don't understand them b/c sometimes I do but they are so interesting. The stories I hear make me wonder.

Tomorrow I am going to speak to students at Upward Bound. I am so excited. You know I love touching the children. It makes me feel even better b/c these are students who want to succeed and excel.

Speaking of students--why did my cousin who is in the 9th grade call me and ask me how to spell socialism? And then she asked me to give her a sentence. Can I say WTF? What happened to looking isht up for yourself and figuring out your own sentence? I hope her teacher doesn't look up the sentence b/c I clearly got it from Encarta. (I actually hope the teacher does look up the sentence which is why I was evil and didn't make up my own sentence. You already know I am evil.)

I am so mad at myself. Instead of watching my favorite tv show (C.SI) I watched that mess that is Mak.ing the Ban.d. Why are they surprised that they have no money? Where were they when every other Ba.dB.oy artist was broke and complaining about the way they were treated.

One day soon I am going to have an actual post instead of just random information.

Hello

2009-03-04T19:58:00.002-05:00

Yeah I feel like giving my randoms today especially since I have my mother's computer to play with right now.

Dell finally received my computer! One step closer to getting it back.

So when did it become cool not to let someone know they didn't get the job. I could understand if you didn't interview me but dude you interviewed me. You couldn't send an email saying we went in another direction. Where is the business etiquette?

So you lied to me. I am not surprised but damn every time I think about it, it hurts a little.

Is Tyra sucking me in this year with ANTM? Last cycle I was disappointed.

I am now excited about my birthday! I don't know what brought it on but I am excited.

Steele got punked by the RNC and Rush.

So my uncle's ex-wife has no damn common sense. Ok she may have some but not on a regular basis. She has made some questionable decisions in the past but she is special. Anyway the latest stupid thing I have heard from her was her wanting a Mini Cooper. That would be nice if she didn't have two children. Do you know it didn't don on her until she got in her friend's today that she couldn't fit her two kids and all their stuff in the car. Ok when you see a Mini Cooper do you think of a car for a mom? I mean I personally couldn't drive one b/c I don't travel lightly but a mom even looking at one. I mean you can get one if you plan on driving something else and the economy was better (you know you need some money to be driving around in two cars with just your money). Unfortunately that is not the case. This was to be the main car.

I have been doing well on my quest to give up sweets for Lent!

I am thinking about giving up intimacy as well but I don't see how you can give up something you aren't doing. Oh well!

I believe that is all for the day.

Interview

2009-03-01T01:08:00.002-05:00

Yeah so I was supposed to do this ages ago but we all know my attention span is extremely short and I forgot. So sue me!

1. If the you now could go back in time and give advice to you 10 years ago, what would you say?
I would tell myself to truly enjoy Senior year and actually put some thought into the future. Do you really want a degree in Poli Sci or does your mother want you to have a degree in Poli Sci? Speak up for yourself--you haven't gone wrong yet so why do you think you will now. And leave that college boy alone--he has some psycho tendencies.

2. On a scale of 1 to 10, how happy are you with your life?
I would say a 6.5.

3. If you are unhappy with your life, are you actively taking steps towards happiness?
I am--looking for a job and becoming more involved in my community if I must be stuck in this particular community.

4. If you were guaranteed lifelong financial stability in your dream career, would you leave your current job? What is your dream career? (I was asked this question too and am always curious to know what people's answer would be)
That is too easy--since I don't have a current job of course I would go into my dream career. My dream career would be educating people on financial freedom. I would have to come up with my own plan on how that should occur b/c all of the people I know who do this rub me the wrong way. I would also love to have a job where I was helping children make better decisions for their future and show them how important an education is. I want to be that person who makes this world better.

5. How long have you been blogging? What prompted you to start in the first place?
I have been blogging regularly since the Spring of 2007 but I would randomly blog on My.space every so often. What prompted me to blog was the need to tell the world about who I am or at least who I think I am. I get to see how I evolve regularly and I hope for growth.

Feelings

2009-02-28T22:59:00.002-05:00

So lately I have been feeling some type of way. Normally I am extremely excited about my birthday but this year not so much. Actually this year I feel like I could go without celebrating (anyone who really knows me who is reading this is probably gasping for air). I had to figure out why I am feeling this way and I finally figured it out. I am not satisfied with my life so I don't feel like celebrating. I am happy for friends and family but I need something more. I need a job and some love in my life.

I compare my life to my mom and right now I am not measuring up in my head. When my mom was my age she had a career and a baby. She also had a man but clearly I won't get into how bad that ended (let's just say she soon became a single mother). I have 2 degrees and nothing else. I hate to say it like that but it is true. And to add insult to injury I have debt b/c of one of those degrees. The job/career was supposed to help me pay off the debt but that isn't happening.

I want to delve deeper but right now I am just not ready. To be continued...

Smooches,
Coco, Esq.

Randomness

2009-02-27T12:12:00.002-05:00

I have some tendencies I need to work on.

I gave up sweets for Lent. My sweet tooth is bad and I needed to work on it.

I still haven't sent my computer to De.ll. That is bad considering I could have wireless if I sent it to the repair place.

I don't have much today but I wanted to talk to you guys.

I still know nothing about the job. I am entirely too impatient. I think God is testing my patience and I am failing miserably.

I love my friends! Thanks DollFace for the text messages last week. I really was emotional and you helped me at least talk about it.

Did I tell you guys if I don't find a job I am moving in with my friend and being her nanny? Yeah the more I think about that the more I hate the idea. I don't want to be responsible for a baby especially if it is not mine. I am so my mother's child! She doesn't hold babies until they are at least 6 months. I am sure my infancy was pretty interesting with her.

I want some cookies so bad. I have been talking myself out of this for the past two days. I also want some pecans that are coated in sugar. I need to go pray.

Tell 'Em How You Feel Thursday

2009-02-19T19:38:00.002-05:00

So today was long and boring! I played on the internet all day in between job searching. I am really hoping that I will get a phone call really soon saying I got the job. The main people said I am eligible/qualified for the job. Pray for me!

I can be financial in my sorority again! My grad chapter jacked up my dues and I thought it was taken care of until I tried to pay my dues last year. So now I can be active and financial!

I finally harassed the bride enough to go ahead and pick out the dress. She picked it out today and hopefully the decision will be finalized tomorrow.

I am going to an undergrad party tonight. That should be oh so interesting since I haven't seen undergrad in almost 6 years and my senior year I rarely went to parties. I think I may have been a little lame but I made up for all of that in law school.

So the crush appears to be back in the crush category. The other guy helped me on Tuesday while I was crying my little heart out. He didn't know I was crying but he definitely helped me through it. Afterwards we decided that we were going to get married jokingly. But I did tell him if I am still single at 30 and I am coming for him.

I have nothing else for you guys but I wanted to blog before I sent my computer away. I may blog from my phone but I seriously doubt it.

Smooches,
Coco, Esq.

Good News

2009-02-17T00:26:00.003-05:00

So today I went to a meeting to mobilize the Democratic Party in my home county. I am the Interim Chair of the Democ.ratic Commi.ttee of Pea.ch Cou.nty. I am truly excited about this endeavour and hopefully can accomplish some things. I wasn't the youngest person there but I was the youngest working professional (I use that term loosely since we know my job situation). Everyone was excited and happy that I took on the job. I think they want me to be the permanent chair but hopefully I will be leaving the area soon. But I am still excited about the opportunity! This state needs to do better with the whole political thing b/c there was no reason why Georgia shouldn't have been blue or at least purple.

On My Mind

2009-02-16T23:56:00.003-05:00

Yeah so I didn't post anything last week. Sorry about that but last week was extremely stressful. Everyday I had something to do and had to wake up entirely too early when I went to sleep entirely too late. Anywho I will give an update about all of it.

Last week I had 5 closings which is extremely good in this economy--nice check in a few weeks for only about 7 hours of work.

Last Wednesday was the job fair. Yeah I never made it inside. I actually had an interview on Wednesday morning that I think went well. I will find out soon hopefully (but it's not a lawyer job). Anyway, after I left the interview I went to the job fair location. I was talking on the phone to my friend who I was supposed to meet there and she tells me that the line is off the chain. When she got there the line was wrapped around the building 3 times. It was a federal building also. It was crazy. We decided to strategize and drove around to figure out where we could strategize and not pay to park (she took the train there). So we decide to drive by the location so I could see the line. While driving we see a lady who actually made it into the fair. She tells us that there are only about 25-30 recruiters and only 2 were taking resumes. She then says others told her to apply for federal jobs online and none of their agencies are hiring b/c they are waiting on the stimulus package to pass. That was my cue to drive away and find us some food.

Friday I went to a career preview for a financial planning company. I just have to take a personality test. I probably should have taken it this weekend but I was so sleepy that I slept most of the weekend.

He called me on Saturday but all I could say was hello sleepily and he said I could call him later. I did but we didn't talk. So nothing else to say about him.

The crush is on ice. No developments but he did wish me luck on my interview and all that jazz.

My mommy bought me the cutest shoes for Valentine's Day. They will be part of the birthday ensemble.

As you may know I spilled water on my computer about a month ago and it appeared to have killed my wireless card. I got a long warranty and it isn't up yet so De.ll will be getting the computer and fixing it--any issues that I can come up with they will fix.

Sunday I went to the mall and found a dress and a shirt from Ex.press for less than $20. I am bringing sexy back! Pictures eventually.

Oh yeah I hate being the only technical person in my house. That means I have to figure out stuff that other people "can't". My mom's school gave them Ma.cs and she wants to use it at home. Well I only had ethernet. I had to talk to our internet provider and come up with a solution to fix the problem. The guy told me it would be best to just go to the store and get a wireless router. I go get the router and it won't install properly. I figure out how to install it without the installation disk and that is when I notice that my wireless connection doesn't work. I call my dad and ask for his help. He sends me through all this crap and I download driver after driver. Then I figure out that something is wrong with the actual card. I contact De.ll via the net and then phone. Guy tells me it can be shipped and fixed. My mom's computer won't connect to the ethernet and then it won't connect to the wireless network. I really think that is because her school only wants her to be on one network. I can't promise that but I think that is the case. She doesn't understand connecting to the net and no matter how you explain it to her she doesn't get it. I just want to grab and shake her.

I was so unproductive today.

I also need to do my interview from Mimi!

Since I will have to send the computer away I will be out of commission for a couple of days if not weeks.

I need someone to rub on me.

Some people and their emotions drive me crazy.

My friend whose wedding I will be in is going to have a hot mess of a wedding. I still have no dress or dress options. The wedding is in 7 months and there is no reception venue or decision of whether the reception will be formal or informal. She almost decided not to come home to get stuff together for the wedding. All I can say is I am going to be cute regardless. I should probably harass her again about the dresses.

Obligatory Post of The Week/Randomness in My Life

2009-02-06T20:57:00.002-05:00

Ok so is "I want you to sit on my fa.ce" the new pickup line? I went out last weekend and I was clearly minding my own business in my cute sweater dress and I get that. Can you say keep it moving? Do you even know me like that to say it much less attempt to do it?

I love my friends! I just wanted to let them know.

I am so ok being by myself right now. I would love to date (not pressed about it) but I would first need to leave the house and then meet someone. I got to spend time with the crush on Sunday and that was interesting. He is hilarious and sweet. I love the fact that he makes me laugh. No matter what he will be a great friend. I think I am about to place him in the friend category. I also think I like him more than he likes me.

I need a new car so bad. The other day I was riding around in my mother's old car and it just turned off as I was making a right turn. That was the one time I was happy to live in a small town. Some men were nice enough to help me and I was able to walk to my cousin's job to borrow her car. There aren't as many gentlemen out there as I thought b/c a lot of men just drove around me. Well the car is fixed now.

I am supposed to be going to a Federal Job Fair on Wednesday. Keep me in your prayers!

I just want to give a shout out to my LS LNB! I know she reads this and we don't talk often but I want her to know I love her. I love you too LS AH!

Ink and paper are very expensive!

I miss Part-time but he is an asshole. We haven't had a falling out or anything but I don't have the urge to talk to him. We are just a never ending cycle. This is my opportunity to break the cycle.

There is something I want to tell you guys but I don't know what you will think of me after I tell it. My close friends know. It is not bad but when it happened it felt terrible.

Tell 'Em How You Feel Thursday

2009-01-29T18:18:00.003-05:00

It is Thursday again!

Yesterday I talked to the crush. Swoon! Can I say the conversation was hilarious and entertaining. He is a sweetie. I will actually get to see him on Sunday :)

So yesterday I went to a job fair. It was interesting. No legal jobs but I figure it is time for me to branch out. I met some nice people and got to see some old friends. After the job fair I went to see my friend and her children. Her son is a bre.ast man and grabbed one of mine (he will be one next week). That was quite interesting. About 30 minutes after I left her house one of the people who lived in the area killed his brother and 2 sisters. Can you say scary? It doesn't pay to live in the hood.

One of my younger cousins was diagnosed with schizophrenia. I worry about my mental health. I feel bad for him but at least he was diagnosed and if something happens it can be explained.

So I have decided to give up sweets. My face broke out really bad this week and I couldn't figure out why. Then I was reminded that I went on a sweet binge last week. The sad part about this is I know when I eat fruit I don't even want sweets.

So I talked to my friend about the bridesmaids dresses and she listened. What is funny is I was the only one concerned about looking for a dress. The wedding is in October and I understand that that is 9 months away but I am on a budget and I need to know how much money I need to put away.

Irritation

2009-01-23T12:02:00.003-05:00

So my friend is getting married and I am a bridesmaid. She wants the bridesmaids to pick out their own dresses but she wants to approve them first. She is doing this so we won't have to spend a large sum of money. I found a beautiful and relatively inexpensive dress at Nord.strom's website. I send her the picture from the website and firmly get shut down. Nice dress but the satin fabric won't look right on everyone. Ok that would have been nice to know while I am searching for the dress considering the fabric swatches she sent us were satin. I honestly feel if you need to approve you need to pick out the dress. You should also pick out the dress b/c all of your bridesmaids live in different areas of the country and pictures are only going to do so much. Is it just me or is this stupid? It would make more sense if the bridesmaid lived in the same area and went shopping together. But since we don't live in the same area she should find dresses that fit everyone or at least fabric that looks good on everyone.

Coco, Esq.

Tell 'Em How You Feel Thursday

2009-01-22T17:41:00.002-05:00

I must complain and then I will let it go: The slow people get jobs and I am jobless. Ex. Today I went to pay my granny's life insurance and she gave me more than the actual payment. The woman took the payment and needed to subtract using the calculator (the change was $1.70). She steps to the phone and tries to subtract. Do you know it took her four times trying to subtract to realize that she was using the phone instead of the calculator.

Ok so my mother and I kissed and made up. Everytime we argue it is about her being overbearing. I am sticking to my idea that she is a little mental. I need to find her a man to occupy her time but I don't know if he will be up to the challenge.

I am starting to hate my phone--it mistakenly dials someone once a week. Today it decided to take it up a notch and get on the internet. I think I was on the internet for almost 30 minutes before I noticed.

I need to eat more fruits and vegetables b/c I have sugar issues. I bought almost 5 dollars worth of candy today.

I am reading "Writ.e It Do.wn, Ma.ke It Happ.en". There are some good ideas in the book and I am trying to do some of them.

Why is everything black and white for some people? My mom makes everything about black and white. I understand that some issues are black and white but I feel like I need to look at the good of the situation as opposed to the color of the situation. I know there are people out there that don't like my President b/c some of his ancestors are black but that is not going to stop me from supporting him.

I had more but my memory is bad so I will have to get back to you!

Coco, Esq.

January 20, 2009

2009-01-20T19:30:00.003-05:00

I had to blog today. My President is Barack H. Obama! He looks like me and he understands some of my struggles that no other President before him has. I shed tears of joy today. The emotions cannot be put into words. I know the only thing that would have made this better was to be there in the midst. Today will forever be in my memory.

That ceremony was truly empowering. I respect all who spoke including Ri.ck War.ren. Josep.h Low.ry did it in his benediction. Forty years ago he wouldn't have been able to do that and he didn't wouldn't have been speaking at an African-American President's Inauguration. That right there made me feel so good. He is a bridge to this country's past and I am thankful for him and all who marched with him.

I am so excited that I got to see the Hampton University Marching Force in the parade. I was so proud of my alma mater! They had the First Lady getting her dance on. I get to call her my First Lady. She looks like me. That is a great feeling that many thought I would never get to feel.

I just thank the Lord that I get to see such things! I am smiling and I will not allow anyone to steal that joy!

I refuse to allow the negativity of others to take this moment of history away from me but I will say that I am a little hot that the local Fox station showed no coverage of this occasion. The only thing that doesn't make truly upset about that is that they rarely show press conferences that W had. I guess they are equal opportunity on ignoring Presidents.

Dear God,

2009-01-16T20:32:00.002-05:00

Please take me away. These people are driving me crazy. Someone is lying and won't admit to it. My mother just lost her mind and tried to hit me. I have to get out of here before I lose it. I don't want be here any more. I need to get away. Lord help me! I need you right now. I am constantly applying to jobs. Please help me! I can't go on like this much longer.

Coco

Rambling

2009-01-02T17:42:00.004-05:00

I really like him...I think. He is just not feeling me.

So why did another he ask me what my type was? Why didn't I just say you? Now he is talking about hooking me up with his fraternity brothers--no I want him.

It's official I have been sucked in. I gotta get out soon.

2009 will be better for me.

Would you marry someone that your parents didn't like? I don't think I would but I guess I haven't been placed in that situation. I have a friend and her mother-in-law doesn't like her. It's gotten to the point that she won't help with the grandkids. I have another friend who keeps having issues with her future husbands family. It started with the cousin and now it is the sister. The sister is crazy though. The sister went to a "spiritu.al advi.sor" or "psy.chic" and the person told her that her brother was not happy. He was not being satisfied sexu.ally. Then she confronted her brother with what the person told her. I wouldn't have told anyone that I went there. I mean I honestly don't know what goes on in their bedroom and I really don't care. Why does the sister care especially when some random person told her that?

In less than 20 days Barack will be sworn in!

If your ex-boyfriend called you while you were with your current boyfriend would you answer the phone and say, "I am with my boyfriend and don't call me ever again,"?

I think that man finally left me alone!

Positivity is the key!

Tell 'Em How You Feel Thursday

2009-01-01T19:08:00.004-05:00

Happy New Year! It is 2009! So I was knocked out when the clock struck 12. I am ok with that b/c I really just wanted to rest. 2009 will be spent on the grind :)

I am happy. Not expecting anything from anyone.

In the past 24 hours I have applied to 4 or 5 jobs. Found some more I need to apply to as well.

I like a boy but I don't know if he likes me.

I want to hang out with SunFresh/K.I.M. She is a cool girl and we probably have a lot in common especially since we were born 4 days apart.

I don't have much for you guys today.

Goodbye 2008

2008-12-31T12:41:00.002-05:00

I guess this is the obligatory New Year's Eve post. I can honestly say that 2008 wasn't as bad as I thought when I was going through it. I guess I must admit I am overly dramatic. I am very blessed and I thank God for allowing me to live this life.

Now for the resolutions:

1. Take it one day at a time--stop planning every minute. I like to know exactly what is going to happen so this is my chance to stop being a control freak.

2. Let people go. When people show me who they are let them go. There is already one person on this list.

3. Meet new people on purpose. This means I have to go places and try new things.

4. Continue my quest for health. The fried foods really make me sick. The smell of oil actually makes me sick and my family still eats fried food like we don't have health issues.

5. Follow through with my prayer list. I say I am going to pray for this and that but I don't always follow through with that.

6. Realize that my parents are who they are. They drive me crazy but they have been doing that forever so why would it change.

That is all I have right now but my plan is to continue to progress.

The Quote that Best Describes Me

2008-12-28T19:27:00.001-05:00

I'm selfish, impatient, and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control, and at times hard to handle, but if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best.

I am ashamed to say I am quoting Marilyn Monroe but I believe it fits me so well. Me to a tee!

Fun on a Sunday Night

2008-12-22T18:20:00.006-05:00

So this weekend I was recovering from some mysterious illness. I recovered and made a trip to the A to support my girl's turn at host for an event. It was the Re,d Tie Soi.ree and most of young black Atlanta was there. Can I say I was entertained? I was looking rather nice if I say so myself. I finally got to meet SunFresh. She is such a sweety and is fly as hell. Can I say those shoes were the hotness. I liked her whole ensemble but the shoes were doing the damn thing.

Well the night started off pretty cold and for a minute I felt overdressed. When we walked in all the people had on jeans and cute tops. I of course had on a cute black and red satiny halter dress (you know I don't own any red clothes that I felt were appropriate so I had to find a new dress). Well it eventually got better. My friends and I split up to mingle. There was truly some specialness going on but I am going to give my highlights/observations of the evening.

A girl I went to law school with was there and the last time I was at an event with her she was rather rude but I chalked it up to her situation (my friend who was host was close friends with her recent ex-boyfriend and she wanted to flaunt her new "man" in friend's face so it would get back to the ex). I was wrong, the chick has an issue with me. You know I don't care but I have to tell you all what happened. My friend and I are standing next to each other conversing and she walks right past me and tells my friend hello and gives her a hug. She took the time and energy to ignore me. That was truly entertaining. What is even more entertaining is that her ex is a cutie and you know the rest.

Part two of that observation is that I was talking to another UGA law school grad and she walks by us. He says I know that girl. She is crazy right? When I say I almost passed out. It was hilarious. She has a fatal attraction reputation.

Another observation is I must learn to fix my face. This guy comes up to me and says I know you, I have met you before. I was like I don't know you. He was like I met you before and you used to tutor. I was like sorry you have the wrong person. He was like I know I have met you before. So he said something that I don't remember and then he was like I remember those expressions. As soon as he said that I made one of my faces and he was like there it is right there. So I am remembered for my facial expressions. Need to work on that.

Then there was this guy who was drunk and just telling me more than I needed to know. He was getting a little too personal. Then he decided he wanted to meet SunFresh so I go find her and introduce her. He then realizes that he had already met her when she calls him by name. That right there was hilarious. All I can say SunFresh if he is your type he said he is going to settle down January 1st--but you didn't hear that from me.

Then there were women there that I knew and I also knew that they came there specifically to meet men. So as soon as they walk in they are like where are the cute men. So one was in her late thirties but dressed like she was in her late 40s. She was like are they just looking younger. I was thinking to myself no they are actually just the age they should be for this event. You are just at the wrong event if you want to meet a man your age. It was a hot mess. They complained the whole night about the lack of men but no man is going to approach you if you have the look of desperation on your face. Needless to say they were never approached.

Some people are just rude. There was this guy who just walked in between my friend and me and just started talking to her like we were not having a conversation. Then he hands me his camera to take a picture of the people they graduated with. I almost pulled out my angry black woman but I didn't want to embarass my friend who was the host.

That is all for now but there may be an addendum to this post involving a cutie.

Smooches,
Coco Esq.

Tell 'Em How You Feel Thursday

2008-12-18T19:45:00.003-05:00

Did you really make that phone call to get your way? I mean was it really necessary? Once the majority has spoken shut the kcuf up. That was tacky, insensitive and inappropriate.

After my pity party I feel better. I still am going to pursue the career but I also think I need to sit back and just make an assessment of how my life (careerwise) is going. Speaking of that I have been offered one interview since Tuesday--at least my resume is tempting people.

I normally don't eat breakfast but today I did. I got so sick. I was supposed to do some volunteer work and I had to call the woman and tell her I couldn't make it. That wouldn't be so bad if I hadn't plan to do this work over 2 weeks ago. I believe that I will be better tomorrow though.

So this morning I was driving home from taking my mom to work and I see a pretty ignorant bumper sticker. It says Republican Because everybody can't be on welfare. Do you know I wanted to curse the driver out. I really wanted to say if that was the case please return your stimulus check to the treasury among other things. I won't go on but I will say I am pissed.

I did nothing today but lie in the bed so I don't have much to tell.

Special

2008-12-17T19:18:00.002-05:00

I have some truly special friends. They brighten up my day. I can be down and they don't know it but they call and it just puts a smile on my face. I try to remember to thank God for them regularly but sometimes I don't. Well this post is to let them know how special they are. They listen to my ramblings and they give me sound advice. They say stuff that I sometimes don't want to hear but they tell me anyway. They say it nicely so as not to hurt my feelings b/c we all know I am sensitive about my sh*t. With that said I love you all and I thank you for being my rocks in my time of need.

Smooches,
Coco Esq

Pity Party

2008-12-16T17:57:00.004-05:00

Why does it always feel like I am having a pity party for myself when it comes to my career or the lack thereof? So my dream career has something to do with estate planning or financial planning. Well trust and estates is not the hotness when it comes to the legal field. I decided to try my luck at the financial planning side of the field. Once again I get my feelings hurt.

Last Friday I went to an Open House for a financial planning firm and was greatly impressed by what I saw. It was definitely something I could see myself doing. Well I started the ball rolling yesterday and today got quickly shut down. I filled out the 7 page application and disclosed all my financial information--you know that debt that I am ashamed to admit to having. I had to take an assessment to see if sales was my thing. Well according to the assessment I can't sale and I am not worth investing in. Sales aren't my first choice of job duties but I can sell my butt off if I know the product. I can actually start the job but I would only be paid on commission which isn't that big of a problem in the future. The problem is the present. You know Jellybean is gone so I need a new car. I can't get a car if I have no income. Also I won't be selling anything anytime soon b/c I actually have to be licensed to sell the products. That takes about 2 months which means 2 months no income. You also know that no one is really hiring for part time jobs b/c of the economy.

I also wanted the job b/c it gave me the opportunity to help people who wouldn't necessarily get this type of help. I already know people who want help with their finances b/c I have been discussing this career path for a minute even before the Open House presented itself.

Ok so my next thing is what do I do when I know it is something I want. I was actually studying for the GRE so I could be competitive for the Certificate of Financial Planning at GS.U. but I found a program that wasn't as competitive and would teach me the same things. The only problem with that was money. I don't have a full time job so I can't pay for something that isn't a necessity. I really want the job and I even started my list of people who may need my services. Trust and believe you are probably on the list. What do I do?

Characters

2008-12-15T18:46:00.002-05:00

Can I just tell you that I have some characters in my family? Every time I talk to my dad I get a new story and today was no different. I was talking to him about one thing and he put me on hold. When he comes back he proceeds to tell me that my brother is a "missing person". Can you say hot mess on fire? Well anyway my brother lefts his home on Saturday morning (the home he shares with his wife and children) and hasn't been back or heard from. So eventually wife figures out that he has gone to meet some woman and he is with her. Yeah she checked his email and found the woman's information. She called the woman and spoke to her sister. The sister then tells her that her sister is with some dark skinned man with braids (matches my brother's description). I honestly can't deal with these people. My father tells me that this is not the first time he has been a missing person. Can you say hot mess again?

I was going to blog about something else but I will have to do that later--this took the life out of me.

Tell 'Em How You Feel Thursday

2008-12-11T17:28:00.003-05:00

It has been an ok week--no complaints from me.

I passed my Insurance test--I am one step closer to the job of my dreams at least in my head.

My mommy is so wonderful--just had to tell the world.

Yesterday my alter ego (Coco) decided that she wanted to get a french bikini wax. That was my first time--that damn Coco. It wasn't as painful as I thought it was going to be.

I am going to work it out--there is a plan.

I need to start writing my topics down because I had something to talk about but now I can't remember it. I promise to do better next week.

Logorrhea

2008-12-08T18:59:00.002-05:00

I kind of reconnected with a guy I had a crush on in undergrad. I will never tell who it was. He was so nice to me and that is enough to make me crush.

Ok so we know it has be a little abnormally cold in this area but it is still late fall. Well why did my uncle's ex-wife send the children down her with capris? It is late fall in Georgia--no one should be wearing capris especially children that stay sick.

I had more but the heck if I can remember it. I will update!

Tell 'Em How You Feel Thursday

2008-12-04T12:56:00.003-05:00

It is official my car is totaled! It is time to buy a new car whether I want to or not. It is kind of difficult to think about then when you have no job.

It hurt to say goodbye to Jellybean--we have been through so much in the past 11 years, 5 months and 11 days. Oh the stories she could tell--especially late night creeping.

The other day I drove my mom to work and had to pick her up. Well when I picked her up she checked her voicemail. There was a message about my car. Let me make sure you know that I was driving So she tells me to write a phone number done. I look at her like she has lost her mind. She gets mad. Mind you she has a school bag with paper and pen in it and she is using one hand to hold the phone. Craziness I tell you!

I tried something new with my hair. It is pulled up and curly. It probably won't last long but I needed something new and I think it is what was breaking out my skin (partially).

I am stepping out on faith and I pray that the decision I make will lead to a new beginning.

I am convinced that people don't mind putting their lives in my hand. That is the only way I can explain people pulling out in front of me. I used to think it was b/c I drove a small older car but that can't be it. I used to think well maybe they just didn't see me but that isn't it either. The reason I know this is b/c the rental place gave me a big cherry red Explorer (2008) and they still do it. I mean really is it that serious. They even get mad when you blow your horn. You were wrong--suck that crap up.

That is all I have to say this week. Wish I had more but I have been dealing with the car.

Praise the Lord!

2008-11-30T20:04:00.003-05:00

I have no complaints b/c I knew it could have been much worse. I was looking for detergent to wash my clothes and I looked everywhere. I decided to go to Target since I couldn't find it at any of the stores around here. I drove back from Target and was minding my own business. I was about 5 minutes from my house and a dog came out of nowhere. I hit the dog and it bounced into my windshield and then went flying to other side of the road. My airbags deployed. Through this all I was not hurt or burned by the airbags. That was nothing but the Lord I tell you! The smoke got me a little but a nice person eventually drove by to check on me and went and got me some water. All I can do is praise the Lord! I refuse to make any complaints b/c I knew it could have been worse. My car is 11 years old so I know I am blessed. I could go on but I won't. Just know that I know I am blessed!

Here is the windshield:

Here is the front:

Happy Thanksgiving!

2008-11-27T15:54:00.003-05:00

Happy Thanksgiving to you all!

I hope you are enjoying your day and know that you all have something to be thankful for! I am truly thankful for my family and friends. I am thankful for all that I have (big and small)!

Coco

The Dirty Old Man

2008-11-24T18:48:00.003-05:00

Ok before I tell you the story let me just say I set myself up for this and I know that.

Well about six months ago I signed up to work with Prim.erica and I have to get my insurance license. My plan was to take the insurance class on the internet but I just couldn't do it. I couldn't sit at my computer for 40 hours and actually take the quizzes after every unit. I could do the class but just not 40 hours. So I had my trainer sign me up for the class where I would be forced to sit there for the 40 hours--one of my biggest mistakes lately!

The class was the last two weekends. The instructor was a seemingly nice older gentleman and he was the only other black person there. I decided the first weekend that I was going to Rub.y Tues.day's for lunch and he asked could he meet me there. Cool--you know I pay for my food and you pay for yours. Well we talked during lunch about nothing of importance at least to me. I remember he asked me if I was dating but I didn't think anything of it. He later asked me what were good places to eat in the area (he was from a different part of the state) and I told him about a Japanese place. So I thought he would have gone later that night. Well the next day I saw him he said he didn't get a chance to go but he would go the next weekend and then asked if I wanted to go. I said sure once again not thinking anything of it and not minding another free meal. I learned my lesson no meal is ever free.

So the second weekend rolls around and I go to class Friday night. He says something to me about my nice shape and it made me a little uncomfortable but I thought nothing of it. The next day we go to the Japanese restaurant. We are talking even though I feel a little uncomfortable. He asked me what was the oldest person you have ever dated. I was thinking what the hell. I told him six years. So then he was like hypothetically speaking would you go out with a man who just wanted to take you out for lunch on occasion. I was like that is cool. Then he throws himself into the equation. Can you say nasty? Earlier in the day he told our class that he graduated from high school in 1969. He is older than my parents. This man is 30 years older than me. His youngest child is older than me. Can you say nasty?

The other issue I had with him was he knew it was wrong. If anyone knows me they know that I talk about my family all the time and I especially talk about my mommy and granny. Well anyway I was talking about my mommy and she called me while I was at dinner. At some point during the dinner this man told me that I can't tell my mom about him liking me. He also kept talking about whether or not I thought anything was wrong with us going to dinner. I didn't think anything was wrong until I realized he was a nasty old man.

I was just happy that yesterday was the last day I had to see him. I mean what could we possibly have in common. He has 3 children and 5 grandkids and I have no children. He has retired from his job and I have yet to have my first permanent job. I mean we are just at different points in our lives. I want to get married and have kids. I can't do that with him and even if I could I wouldn't do it b/c it is just nasty.

Tell 'Em How You Feel Thursday

2008-11-20T17:34:00.003-05:00

I am feeling some kind of way about a couple of things. My brain is all jumbled up. I can't even think about all the stuff I am thinking about.

So I read Midnight last week. I am returning the book. It cannot be a part of my collection. It served a purpose but d*mn that.

I asked a dumb question today. I feel so stupid.

I miss my honey. I miss him when I am bored. That is so sad. I have also been craving attention lately.

Yesterday I went to my great uncle's funeral. It was interesting. Yesterday it was probably in the 40s. Why did I see someone with capris on? I met my aunts for the first time yesterday. Yes I am 27 years old and have never met my mother's sisters. I actually sat next to one at the funeral.

I thank the Lord that my mom had a job and insurance that covered me. I saw so many jacked up teeth yesterday. I mean missing teeth and rotten teeth--just nasty.

I am also glad that my mother is shaped like her mother's family. If not she would be a big woman. All the women in the family are big and most of them are tall. I took after my mom so I got lucky as well. Most of the women in my dad's family are short and big.

Midori suggested a book to me. It was wonderful. I feel more prepared for the whole finding a job process.

I just want to scream sometimes.

I found my future home and now I just need a job to pay the mortgage.

I have insurance class this weekend. My instructor is taking me to get hibachi Saturday night. I hope he doesn't want me b/c I am just going along for free food (his suggestion not mine).

Ok so most of the people who know me know that I am not the nicest person (I have never been one to fake it) so why can't I be mean to this guy that likes me? I don't like him at all.

There is this nice guy who seems to like me but I don't like him like that b/c he is out there. I mean I know people have pasts but I just can't get down with him like that.

One day in the near future I am going to write a post about one thing but right now I am not there.

Just Haven't Been Feeling It

2008-11-17T20:07:00.002-05:00

Lately I haven't been feeling the whole blogging thing which is why I haven't posted. I have thoughts but I just haven't wanted to share them with anyone. Well I think I am back now. My goal is to do better by my loyal readers--you know all 3 of you.

After that statement I have to wonder why people don't get my sarcasm. Anyone who knows me knows that I am queen of sarcasm. But there are some people who just don't get it. If it didn't sound right chances are I was being sarcastic.

I want to know why you tell me stuff and then a couple of days later everything is perfect. I don't know how to approach that situation any more. I am about to start pulling the "oh, ok" on you.

I don't think I will be in D.C. for the inaguaration. Just not in my budget and I can't do all those people.

I am studying to get my insurance license. That should be interesting.

Oh yeah my boo (not really) from college is in a relationship according to bacefook. I was so crushed when I saw that today. I mean we don't even communicate but I still had hopes. (I don't know why since he never even responded to my message.) That is what happens when a guy acts like a complete gentleman--you think about him years later.

Yeah right now I have nothing. Sorry to disappoint.

Random Thoughts

2008-11-11T15:20:00.003-05:00

I miss my best friend and I miss my best friend runner up. I think within a couple of months of each other I lost them both. I mean obviously we weren't compatible. My best friend was a habitual liar and I knew it but I ignored it. The runner up was overly sensitive. If I told you what we had a falling out about you would tell me to move on. Either way I miss the friendships we had (at least what I thought we had). I did try to reconnect with the runner up but to no avail. I will never try to contact the other one. That relationship was truly unhealthy.

I haven't blogged since before Barack Obama became President-Elect. I just couldn't put my feelings into words and I am still struggling with those words. I am grateful that the other side will n ot be in the White House but that is all I can put in words.

I learned a lot from you just by listening. You probably don't know it now but I have learned. I am keeping my mouth shut on whole lot more than I used to. Partially from what I learned and partially from the fact you didn't listen anyway. I am doing it to save my sanity and our friendship.

I have to admit that I watch Desperate Housewives. This admission comes from the fact that I was watching the show and they were showing the Pole Party. The chick in the pink boots taught the one pole dancing class I took.

Thoughts Running Through My Head

2008-11-03T21:51:00.003-05:00

Ok there is so much going on in my head and I am about to lose my mind.

I wanted to cry a little while ago. The older I get the worse PMS gets. I need to have a baby or something to make this worthwhile. I was sad about nothing but I just wanted to cry.

I talked to him today and I just wanted to be through. I don't even know how to explain that one. I am so not feeling men right now. I feel asexual.

Why do these men who like me not get the memo? I actually told one dude I wasn't feeling him like that and he just keeps randomly popping up. Dude I am not going to change my mind. One reason I won't change my mind is you are the most inconsistent negro I know. Yeah like I need one more of those in my life.

Ok so tomorrow is the day that history will be made. I am taking part in this election. I haven't volunteered for an election since undergrad when my major professors forced us to do so. I enjoyed the work but it is so irritating to be surrounded by uninformed individuals.

Speaking of which why was I hanging out with some people who just found out about Obama. You know his history and all that. I was just so disturbed that this is the man you plan on voting for and you know nothing about him. Then you are an educator and you don't know his plan on education. Your paycheck depends on the education system and you are asking two days before the education what the candidate's stance on education. There is so much information out there and you just can't look it up.

Barack's granny died. I can almost feel his pain and the reason why I say almost is b/c his granny helped raise him. My granny that just died was the not so close granny. That is another story when I can just let loose. I loved her though. It is just me and Granny G have this bond that is so crazy. Like I know when something isn't right with her before others. We are seriously two peas in a pod. We should be our birthdays are 7 days apart. But this was supposed to be about Barack. I just can't imagine how bittersweet tomorrow will be. I am going to claim this victory for the man.

I have been very apprehensive about tomorrow b/c I know that something fishy could happen.

Tell 'Em How You Feel Thursday

2008-10-30T15:30:00.003-04:00

It has been a long couple of weeks so if I can remember it all I will tell you exactly how I feel about it.

I am very concerned about my mental health/competence. I have two aunts and an uncle who just aren't there. I can't explain it all but it just concerns me. One of my aunts has completely stopped talking.

My family is dramatic so why shouldn't I be. I hate being a lawyer especially when people keep using my legal expertise for their benefit. I am jobless so unless you are paying I am no longer answering questions.

I am starting a new blog with a friend about what you should know about before deciding on whether to attend law school. You get different perspectives b/c we are opposites. We just want people to know things they never knew before taking such a big step.

My dad is slowly driving me crazy. Since my granny died my mother told him that since he and I have bonded over her death he has no need to call her. That means he calls me multiple times a day. Yesterday he called me on some bullshyt. I almost lost it. He hasn't called me today but it is only the afternoon.

I volunteered for the Ob.ama campaign but I really don't want to work. I am just tired of not having a set schedule. Ok I am going to stop now before I make myself cry.

I live in the boonies--proof of this is the truck I drove past. Some woman had painted on the back of her car that she was a "Proud Gun Toting Christian Mom Supporting Mc.Cain". That keeps me on my volunteering duties.
You know I applied for a position over two months ago and got interviewed and I have heard nothing. I didn't even want the job. Why can't you just say I didn't get it.

I am really sad and I don't know exactly why. I just feel like something isn't right in my life. I don't sleep well and I am just not myself. I feel myself spiraling but I don't what to do.

Why is my granny insistent upon me going to a dermatologist? She told me yesterday that I made enough money to go. When I told her that I have bills she told me that they are cheap b/c my mom told her so. I then told her that my mom pays a copay, not the whole bill. She then told me that I could get something at the drug store. Can I just say that that woman is bad for your self esteem? I have spots on my face but not bad enough that I should get grilled. I left the room and she walked down the hall and continued the conversation with me.

Thank You

2008-10-28T20:04:00.002-04:00

Thank you for all the messages, prayers, thoughts and anything else you did during my family's time of bereavement. I truly appreciate you all. I especially loved the flowers from my wonderful fellow Hamptonians. Thank you for the cards especially the one from family of friends!

Here is a picture of the flowers:

Rambling

2008-10-22T18:55:00.002-04:00

Death brings family drama! Please if you have siblings make sure your parents have their stuff in order. If there are joint accounts make sure they are "and" accounts instead of "or" accounts. Bring up the subject with your parents and siblings so you have a skeleton of a plan when the event happens.

October 20, 2008

2008-10-20T13:18:00.002-04:00

Today I woke up this morning with not a care in the world and a few hours later that all changed. My dad called me to let me know that his mother died. My grandmother's battle with Alzheimer's is over. I am not upset b/c she hasn't been herself in ages. I am in shock though. We knew it was coming but that doesn't mean it still doesn't catch you off guard. I couldn't go see her. I wanted to remember her as the person she was. That was selfish on my part but I don't regret it. She is now where she belongs. Hopefully my grandfather was there waiting for her arrival.

Tell 'Em How You Feel Thursday

2008-10-16T11:36:00.002-04:00

I really think I have an anxiety disorder. I just get extra nervous when I have to talk to people I don't know.

My little cousin was in a pageant last night for Homecoming Court (something new they came up with) and she won. I am proud of her and I hope she goes far. Some of the commentary was crazy. I heard it all second hand b/c I was handling some business. Her mother was mad that she put her brother's name in her bio--her brother is her father's oldest child (can you say hot mess on the part of her mother). The contestants were asked if they could go anywhere on earth where would they go and one of the contestants responded I would go to Rome b/c that is where romantic people go. All the black girls in the pageant decided to sing and I heard they were a hot mess. Also in her bio she didn't put any goals or aspirations--what is going on with the future?

Thanks for the cds and my purse thanks you too.

Are you serious? I told you so! Yeah I said it.

I am scared to try because I am afraid to fail at least at some stuff.

I feel like I am not a good friend b/c I honestly don't know how to comfort people. When my friends are upset I feel helpless.

Did you really say you won't come visit your family and friends b/c your future husband can't travel with you. You won't visit for a year b/c of him. I have issues with that. I understand you love him but if you have business to take care of you need to travel by yourself if he can't come.

Should I go to the doctor about my short term memory? If I don't write it down or do it right when I think about it I will completely forget.

Why do you only call when you want something?

Why have I not sent your thank you card? I feel so bad b/c I look at the card that is addressed to you at least 2 times a day.

I want to make a move but that is just not my style. My cousin told me to go for it.

I had more but that whole short term memory thing is serious.

Hhmmmm

2008-10-13T18:00:00.003-04:00

So I have been thinking and I am in a funk. Everytime I go to church I get a renewed spirit and then something happens to make me forget it. Every time someone speaks about God to me or in my presence they tell me to pray for what I want. I pray for what I want and I get the exact opposite. Lately the only thing I have prayed for is a job so that probably tells you I have no job. What is a girl to do? I mean really what am I to do. I can't even get a regular job b/c I have a law degree. I am truly confused--maybe I need to talk to my pastor.

I am ready to give up on men (don't think I am crossing to the other side). Nothing has happened I am just not feeling them right now. I wish they would go away for a little while and when they come back don't contact me.

My dad is slowly driving me crazy. I know he is concerned about me but why don't you understand I just don't want to talk. If I don't want to talk then I definitely don't want to attend a stranger's wedding rehearsal dinner or their wedding for that matter.

I hate federal holidays when you are expecting something in the mail.

I finally saw "Miracle at St. Anna". It was great--long and maybe too many stories in one but I appreciate what it taught me. It made me that much prouder of the progress that we have made in this country.

Tell 'Em How You Feel Thursday

2008-10-09T11:57:00.004-04:00

While I was driving home from the museum on Sunday why did I hear a radio commercial for chapstick and the individual speaking had a lisp? Why oh why was that the case? Just wrong on so many levels.

My expectations and my reality almost have nothing in common. I am trying to work it out so the two can meet somewhere in the middle. I have been thinking about it a lot lately but not quite ready to write about it.

How old are you? Let your parents know your age. Is anyone in their household paying your bills. I can't even go into depth on that one.

You are cool people but I am confused on whether you are trying to holla or just using me to get back with old girl. I know the first won't happen and the second is b/t you and her and probably her boyfriend.

I visit a lot of blogs but comment on very few. I want to comment but sometimes I think I just don't have the right thing to say. There are a few bloggers out there that I know in real life and I am concerned about you but I don't know how to put that into meaningful words. Know that I e-love you and keep you in my prayers.

I have a friend who is always on some conspiracy theory type stuff. Can I just say everybody is not out to get Southerners, black people and women? Calm down shawty!

My calendar says fall and the leaves say fall but gosh darnit the weather did not get the memo. The leaves are beautiful! I mean I can't compare it to other parts of the country where they get a real fall but it is just beautiful.