Tuesday, May 5, 2009

Something I Rarely Talk About in Detail

Int.imacy--I rarely talk about in detail and I don't think I will talk about it in detail today but I need to make some points.

I was talking to a friend yesterday and she told me her theory on women and no good men: Some di.ck is better than no di.ck. I had to seriously disagree with her. If that was the case I wouldn't be wandering through this period of cel.ibacy. Her response to that was you are cute and cute people don't settle. I wish I could go in detail about where the conversation started but that is her story to tell.

I still disagree with the theory b/c I know there are some people who are cute and still deal with no good men. It really stems from numerous things. I could name a few but the list is definitely not exhaustive.
1. Attachment/love
2. Some people think that inti.macy is the only way to show love
3. Insecurity
4. Settling
5. Some people enjoy the act that much

The point of this post is really to talk about how I had to evaluate myself and look at why I have dealt with craziness in the past. I had some insecurities that are still there but I refuse to let them keep me stuck in some bullisht. I thought I loved the individuals but it was definitely more of an attachment. Those are the two that I saw in my past. I enjoy the act but I realize that the stuff I dealt with was not worth the act. The sleepless nights and/or horrible dreams were enough for me to never deal with it again. There were other things but the sleepless nights/horrible dreams were on the top of the list. I finally got it. It took me awhile but I got it.

It seems like a light bulb went off in my head around my 28th birthday. It told me what I can and cannot accept. I am alone but I am happier alone than I ever was when there was a piece of a man in my life. I know now that when a man is in my life I need so much to happen before the act goes down. I need a connection outside of the act. I need to be able to delve into that connection multiple times before the act occurs. In the past I thought I had done these things but I was wrong. I learned a lesson which is why I am grateful for the individuals that I have dealt with.

Don't get me wrong I miss the last but he can't put forth the effort to be the man that I need, want or deserve. I wish women would learn to be by themselves and love themselves. It would do us all a world of good. I wish that we would hold men to higher standards. When we learn to put our happiness first the men that want to be in our lives would not be afraid of questions and concerns that we have.

Can I just say that as much as I hated the idea of the Ste.ve Harv.ey book I am now half of a fan. I am half of a fan b/c I skimmed a copy of the book. Right after I skimmed a copy of the book my friend went through something. A guy told her something that she already knew and I said as much. She then told me it is different when it comes from a guy. I figure Ste.ve is a guy and maybe someone will get it if it comes from him.

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