Thursday, August 28, 2008

A Moment in History

I am a witness to history and so are you (if you are watching)! Barack Obama is the Democratic Nominee for the President of the United States of America!

Saturday, August 23, 2008

Craziness Again

So if you don't know I don't do children unless it is absolutely necessary. Well it is my uncle's weekend with his children which means that I have to see them this weekend. I normally go out of town on those weekends but since my granny is in the hospital I am sticking close to home. Anyway this man brings them back to our house around 7:45 and then says I am going somewhere but I will be back in a little while. He also said when he comes back he will put them to bed. I should have known then that that was all a lie. Around 10:30 I realized that he wasn't coming back so I got them ready for bed. I fell asleep around 12 and he showed up around 2:45. Can you say hot ass mess? This morning I am in my bedroom with the door closed and he walked out of the house without saying anything. I just happened to walk out of my room to use the bathroom and found out he was gone. I pray for the little ones b/c they have two absent minded parents who are more concerned about their personal lives.

The other day I was talking to an old friend and we just happened to be talking about people having babies. He told me that he heard that my ex best friend had another baby by the same guy. Her first child is no more than 19 months old. That is pure craziness! I would love to find out but I don't want to get sucked back into her life of lies. How do you know someone so well but know so little about them. She definitely made me reexamine some relationships in my life. It is probably because of her that I have no problem cutting off communication with people.

Ok that is all the craziness that I can think of right now but I am sure that I have experienced more than that--just blocked it out.

Friday, August 22, 2008

Have you...

Ever had one of those "I told you so" moments? I have and I just want you to know that I fought the urge to say it out loud! I am growing. Actually I probably didn't say it because I was thinking about other things. Oh well I guess I am still growing.

Wednesday, August 20, 2008

Random Thoughts

Ok so I was on my grad school's alumni site and someone started the discussion about the whole HBCU experience vs. PWI experience. I quickly took offense b/c to make the PWI experience seem better they quickly put down the HBCU experience. I read, "we bonded with black people more b/c there were so few of us, my financial aid was on time, I can get a job anywhere, I had air conditioning." I guess I must have had a special HBCU experience b/c I bonded with a lot of people and it had nothing to do with their race. I mean there were people I didn't like but I seriously doubt we didn't bond b/c of their race. When classes started I only had to pay what I owed--my scholarship was posted to my account. I guess I could get a job anywhere but then again I didn't try b/c I got into your PWI. I had air conditioning too. I mean I guess I can see where they were coming from but did you have to put down my experience to get there. I honestly appreciate my HBCU experience and I wouldn't trade it for anything in the world. I won't comment on my take on the PWI experience.

So it is official--my feet are the hotness! I was in the airport and some random man told me he liked my feet and actually discussed it with his wife/woman. Not the first time my feet have been complimented but it is the first time that a man has had a conversation with his significant other about my feet. Not the first time that someone has conversed about the hotness of my feet either.

My mother and I are being run ragged by this whole granny in the hospital thing. My mother finally came home today to get her car and guess who didn't leave it here? Can you say pissed? I did make it home in enough time to wash--I just need to finish drying. I will do that in the morning. My mother hasn't slept in her bed since last Thursday.

Speaking of the trifling people in my family--my uncle has officially been caught in a lie. So he didn't go to work on Sunday b/c he was allegedly sick with worry about my granny. He told my mother that he went to the doctor to get checked. He went to the hospital on Sunday to "relieve" my mother so she could rest. He kept calling her to see where she was and when she was coming back. Well when I got home Sunday night he wasn't here and didn't get home until almost 3 in the morning. He got up and went to the hospital on Monday morning to "see" granny. Well today I put two and two together. He left the hospital to go spend some time with some woman and got my granny's doctor's receptionist to give him an excuse. The only reason why he went to see my granny on Monday was to get the excuse. He hasn't been back to see her since that day but he has made time to go to the gym for hours each morning.

The wedding was beautiful! The bride wore her mother's wedding dress for the ceremony and then changed after being introduced at the wedding. Of course I have no pictures of me b/c I left my camera in the car. I would have gone back to get it but I felt terrible. My allergy was acting up from the corsage I had on. The groom was so excited. When she walked into the church he started crying and when she made it to the end of the aisle he mouthed that he loved her. It was one of those weddings that you just felt the love. I am jealous and I will not lie. But not crazy jealous just jealous that I don't have a love like that. I wish them the best and I know that they will be ok in their life together.

Oh yeah I got to fly first class. That was truly the hotness.

I talked to the man last night and we talked for a little while about weddings and why did he say that if he ever got married there would be at least 8 groomsmen and he could go for 12. I have a lot of friends but I just feel like I don't have 12 friends that I can ask to stand before God and support my marriage. And by support I mean when we have problems I can call and they are willing to listen and give me sound advice and push us to make it work. Ok looking at that sentence I guess anyone I consider a friend can do that so maybe there are more than 12 people. But that is still a lot of people. Oh well I don't see marriage to each other in our future. I actually don't see marriage in his future but I see it in mine.

Tuesday, August 19, 2008

I need a break!

So I am sitting in my granny's hospital room ready to go insane! My family doesn't communicate and it is crazy. My mother has people shuttling her around instead of driving her own car which mean that at some point during the day my car has to be driven back to my house without me in it. This is all so my spoiled uncle doesn't have to drive his car. Mind you my car has over 220,000 miles on it and is in need of lots of repairs. Can you tell I am frustrated? I need a break! I have to do stuff at home but I can't because I am at the hospital all day! I need to clean and wash but I don't have time to do it. Anybody want to be a granddaughter for a day? I haven't been able to cook a meal in almost a week. I don't want to eat out anymore!

Thursday, August 14, 2008

Long Week

I have a lot to say and hopefully I will remember all of it.

My granny had her surgery on Wednesday. She is doing well. She is supposed to lie on her back. She was not trying to hear that. She had us propping her up to get her on her side. I left the hospital and my mom said she finally decided that she had to lie on her back. They weren't giving her enough pain medication but now she is very rested.

The man called to check on me and to see how many granny was doing. I mean that is what he is supposed to but it still felt good to hear his voice and the concern.

The other man keeps calling me and I really don't like him on that level. He is so sweet and all that but he is too old for me and I am not physically attracted to him. He also lives in another state. I don't want any parts of that. How do I let him down? And why do I keep attracting these men? I am so not in the market and it has nothing to do with man previously mentioned. I really just want to have some me time to figure out what I want.

I am so excited about my back's wedding this weekend. I know she is going to be a beautiful bride and I know that their marriage will be happy. He is definitely the kind of man that you want to take home to your mom. His family adores her and her family adores him. I can't wait to witness this one. I also can't wait b/c this is my last wedding to attend this year. I am a hostess so hopefully I will have pictures to upload for you all.

I am also excited about this weekend b/c I feel almost like an adult. I know that sounds wierd b/c I am 27 but this is the first time I am going somewhere I have never been to and I am renting a car. I never rent cars unless it is absolutely necessary--that means I have only rented a car once.

Once again I have to give a shout out to DollFace. The girl is supportive and loving. If she is your friend take good care of your relationship. She is also hilarious. Thanks for talking to me yesterday and checking on me. I hope everything is ok with your friend.

Ok you all know that my granny had surgery and before the surgery she couldn't eat or drink for 12 hours. She kept talking about how she wanted fried chicken. It was hilarious. My mom told us that a person she knew had the same surgery and they couldn't eat fried foods afterwards. So then my mom decides that she is going to stop eating fried foods. After they take my granny down to the OR I take my mom to get something to eat b/c she stole my car from me. This is literally five minutes after she says she is not going to eat fried foods. We are driving down the street and I ask her what she wants to eat. We see a Church's Chicken and she is like let's go there. I had to make up a word on that one. I told her that she can't have that because that is the most friedest food there is. Yes I said friedest! Needless to say I didn't stop there.

Ok so I forgot some of it but I am sure it will come back to me when I am on the plane trying to get to my destination and no internet.

Monday, August 11, 2008

Vulnerable

I don't know how to be vulnerable unless you push me up against the wall. I am not going to let you know all the thoughts running through my head. I want to but in the past when I did share I was told that wasn't how I felt. That impacted me greatly. I keep it all bottled up sometimes. I want to let you in. I want you to love me unconditionally. I want you to hold me. I want to be able to cry in your arms or beam at you brightly but I just can't. Honestly it is not your fault but sometimes our situation doesn't help me let it all out. It really is time for me to move on. To let you go. To let me go. I need to let the real Coco out. The Coco that no one really knows. I don't even know this Coco because I hold in too much.

Friday, August 8, 2008

Randomness for 08/08/08

Happy 08/08/08 to all my lovely sorors!

Did you really think I was going to take the bait and have a conversation about that? HAHAHAHA!

Dude I know how you have done your friends in the past so I am dealing with you at arm's length. You probably didn't like what I said but it was the truth. I try to speak the truth regularly but sometimes I slip up and lie. That was not one of those times.

Did she really look like a movie star? I mean she was pretty already. You just didn't realize it.

So am I wrong for wanting to walk myself down the aisle if someone ever proposes? I mean I would love for my mom to do it but then I want her to have her mother of the bride moment. I figure I don't belong to daddy so can he really give me away.

How are you going to tell me how it works in the legal field when it comes to applying for a job. Last I checked you were engineer with no job. Yeah I will definitely take your advice. HAHAHAHA!

Dollface is cool as heck. We don't talk on the phone often but she always come through. I think she knows when I need a little attention and then I have a text message. That is why we are friends. We can give each other space and come around when there is a need. I love you so much! Can't wait to sip margaritas on the beach. Just don't be inviting randoms--there must be approval first. There are some people I expect to join in and then there are others.

If someone ever proposes can I have 50 hostesses or 50 honorary bride's maids? I mean I just don't want to have a big bridal party. I am exaggerating with the 50 but only by about 5 or 10 (just kidding).

Jam, thanks for all the words of encouragement in the past. I have been doing a better job with the bible and I am doing better with my faith. Keep passing on the word and I will do the same.

Thursday, August 7, 2008

Confession is good for the soul

or so they say!

My confession is I am a shameless flirt! That is why I keep attracting these men. As long as I am in a comfortable environment I will flirt. I will make you think you have a chance. Most of the time I am not comfortable around men I find truly attractive. I am quiet and not my outgoing self. If you have met me and you think I am quiet chances are I was uncomfortable or trying to get my bearings. I absolutely love to be the center of attention so quiet I don't do. If you don't seem threatening I am going to make sure I am the center of attention.

My name is Coco and I am a shameless flirt!

Maybe after thinking about this I will stop doing it and attracting these men. Food for thought?

Wednesday, August 6, 2008

Why Me?

Why do I keep attracting men that I have no interest in like that? I mean they are sweet guys but they honestly don't do anything for me. Can at least one man I am attracted to be attracted to me?

Tuesday, August 5, 2008

So...

this was not supposed to be my first blog after the wedding weekend but it just happened so I had to blog about it.

I just came from grocery shopping with my mother. I set myself up for this one and didn't even know it until we got in the car. I must first say that my mother has never gone grocery shopping by herself since I was a toddler. When we moved back in with my granny my granny did it all. So we get in the car and my mom asked me about how much I think groceries would be. That is when I knew there would be problems. She wanted me to spend $50. Mind you these groceries are to feed 4 adults, one of whom is a 6'4", 230 pound man (give or take a few pounds). Let's just say I brought no vegetables. She picked up 3 apples. Who picks up 3 apples for a house of more than 1? I have meat but no sides. Remind me to never go grocery shopping with my mom. I want sides to my meals--that is meal with an s. I got a side for one meal. Do you know how frustrating that is? Especially since it is supposed to keep my granny from going to the grocery story. Granny Coco along with Coco needs vegetables.

If you want to know exactly how I feel think of Michael and Janet's "Scream" video. That is where I am.