Wednesday, December 31, 2008

Goodbye 2008

I guess this is the obligatory New Year's Eve post. I can honestly say that 2008 wasn't as bad as I thought when I was going through it. I guess I must admit I am overly dramatic. I am very blessed and I thank God for allowing me to live this life.

Now for the resolutions:

1. Take it one day at a time--stop planning every minute. I like to know exactly what is going to happen so this is my chance to stop being a control freak.

2. Let people go. When people show me who they are let them go. There is already one person on this list.

3. Meet new people on purpose. This means I have to go places and try new things.

4. Continue my quest for health. The fried foods really make me sick. The smell of oil actually makes me sick and my family still eats fried food like we don't have health issues.

5. Follow through with my prayer list. I say I am going to pray for this and that but I don't always follow through with that.

6. Realize that my parents are who they are. They drive me crazy but they have been doing that forever so why would it change.

That is all I have right now but my plan is to continue to progress.

Sunday, December 28, 2008

The Quote that Best Describes Me

I'm selfish, impatient, and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control, and at times hard to handle, but if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best.

I am ashamed to say I am quoting Marilyn Monroe but I believe it fits me so well. Me to a tee!

Monday, December 22, 2008

Fun on a Sunday Night

So this weekend I was recovering from some mysterious illness. I recovered and made a trip to the A to support my girl's turn at host for an event. It was the Re,d Tie Soi.ree and most of young black Atlanta was there. Can I say I was entertained? I was looking rather nice if I say so myself. I finally got to meet SunFresh. She is such a sweety and is fly as hell. Can I say those shoes were the hotness. I liked her whole ensemble but the shoes were doing the damn thing.

Well the night started off pretty cold and for a minute I felt overdressed. When we walked in all the people had on jeans and cute tops. I of course had on a cute black and red satiny halter dress (you know I don't own any red clothes that I felt were appropriate so I had to find a new dress). Well it eventually got better. My friends and I split up to mingle. There was truly some specialness going on but I am going to give my highlights/observations of the evening.

A girl I went to law school with was there and the last time I was at an event with her she was rather rude but I chalked it up to her situation (my friend who was host was close friends with her recent ex-boyfriend and she wanted to flaunt her new "man" in friend's face so it would get back to the ex). I was wrong, the chick has an issue with me. You know I don't care but I have to tell you all what happened. My friend and I are standing next to each other conversing and she walks right past me and tells my friend hello and gives her a hug. She took the time and energy to ignore me. That was truly entertaining. What is even more entertaining is that her ex is a cutie and you know the rest.

Part two of that observation is that I was talking to another UGA law school grad and she walks by us. He says I know that girl. She is crazy right? When I say I almost passed out. It was hilarious. She has a fatal attraction reputation.

Another observation is I must learn to fix my face. This guy comes up to me and says I know you, I have met you before. I was like I don't know you. He was like I met you before and you used to tutor. I was like sorry you have the wrong person. He was like I know I have met you before. So he said something that I don't remember and then he was like I remember those expressions. As soon as he said that I made one of my faces and he was like there it is right there. So I am remembered for my facial expressions. Need to work on that.

Then there was this guy who was drunk and just telling me more than I needed to know. He was getting a little too personal. Then he decided he wanted to meet SunFresh so I go find her and introduce her. He then realizes that he had already met her when she calls him by name. That right there was hilarious. All I can say SunFresh if he is your type he said he is going to settle down January 1st--but you didn't hear that from me.

Then there were women there that I knew and I also knew that they came there specifically to meet men. So as soon as they walk in they are like where are the cute men. So one was in her late thirties but dressed like she was in her late 40s. She was like are they just looking younger. I was thinking to myself no they are actually just the age they should be for this event. You are just at the wrong event if you want to meet a man your age. It was a hot mess. They complained the whole night about the lack of men but no man is going to approach you if you have the look of desperation on your face. Needless to say they were never approached.

Some people are just rude. There was this guy who just walked in between my friend and me and just started talking to her like we were not having a conversation. Then he hands me his camera to take a picture of the people they graduated with. I almost pulled out my angry black woman but I didn't want to embarass my friend who was the host.

That is all for now but there may be an addendum to this post involving a cutie.

Coco Esq.

Thursday, December 18, 2008

Tell 'Em How You Feel Thursday

Did you really make that phone call to get your way? I mean was it really necessary? Once the majority has spoken shut the kcuf up. That was tacky, insensitive and inappropriate.

After my pity party I feel better. I still am going to pursue the career but I also think I need to sit back and just make an assessment of how my life (careerwise) is going. Speaking of that I have been offered one interview since Tuesday--at least my resume is tempting people.

I normally don't eat breakfast but today I did. I got so sick. I was supposed to do some volunteer work and I had to call the woman and tell her I couldn't make it. That wouldn't be so bad if I hadn't plan to do this work over 2 weeks ago. I believe that I will be better tomorrow though.

So this morning I was driving home from taking my mom to work and I see a pretty ignorant bumper sticker. It says Republican Because everybody can't be on welfare. Do you know I wanted to curse the driver out. I really wanted to say if that was the case please return your stimulus check to the treasury among other things. I won't go on but I will say I am pissed.

I did nothing today but lie in the bed so I don't have much to tell.

Wednesday, December 17, 2008


I have some truly special friends. They brighten up my day. I can be down and they don't know it but they call and it just puts a smile on my face. I try to remember to thank God for them regularly but sometimes I don't. Well this post is to let them know how special they are. They listen to my ramblings and they give me sound advice. They say stuff that I sometimes don't want to hear but they tell me anyway. They say it nicely so as not to hurt my feelings b/c we all know I am sensitive about my sh*t. With that said I love you all and I thank you for being my rocks in my time of need.

Coco Esq

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Pity Party

Why does it always feel like I am having a pity party for myself when it comes to my career or the lack thereof? So my dream career has something to do with estate planning or financial planning. Well trust and estates is not the hotness when it comes to the legal field. I decided to try my luck at the financial planning side of the field. Once again I get my feelings hurt.

Last Friday I went to an Open House for a financial planning firm and was greatly impressed by what I saw. It was definitely something I could see myself doing. Well I started the ball rolling yesterday and today got quickly shut down. I filled out the 7 page application and disclosed all my financial information--you know that debt that I am ashamed to admit to having. I had to take an assessment to see if sales was my thing. Well according to the assessment I can't sale and I am not worth investing in. Sales aren't my first choice of job duties but I can sell my butt off if I know the product. I can actually start the job but I would only be paid on commission which isn't that big of a problem in the future. The problem is the present. You know Jellybean is gone so I need a new car. I can't get a car if I have no income. Also I won't be selling anything anytime soon b/c I actually have to be licensed to sell the products. That takes about 2 months which means 2 months no income. You also know that no one is really hiring for part time jobs b/c of the economy.

I also wanted the job b/c it gave me the opportunity to help people who wouldn't necessarily get this type of help. I already know people who want help with their finances b/c I have been discussing this career path for a minute even before the Open House presented itself.

Ok so my next thing is what do I do when I know it is something I want. I was actually studying for the GRE so I could be competitive for the Certificate of Financial Planning at GS.U. but I found a program that wasn't as competitive and would teach me the same things. The only problem with that was money. I don't have a full time job so I can't pay for something that isn't a necessity. I really want the job and I even started my list of people who may need my services. Trust and believe you are probably on the list. What do I do?

Monday, December 15, 2008


Can I just tell you that I have some characters in my family? Every time I talk to my dad I get a new story and today was no different. I was talking to him about one thing and he put me on hold. When he comes back he proceeds to tell me that my brother is a "missing person". Can you say hot mess on fire? Well anyway my brother lefts his home on Saturday morning (the home he shares with his wife and children) and hasn't been back or heard from. So eventually wife figures out that he has gone to meet some woman and he is with her. Yeah she checked his email and found the woman's information. She called the woman and spoke to her sister. The sister then tells her that her sister is with some dark skinned man with braids (matches my brother's description). I honestly can't deal with these people. My father tells me that this is not the first time he has been a missing person. Can you say hot mess again?

I was going to blog about something else but I will have to do that later--this took the life out of me.

Thursday, December 11, 2008

Tell 'Em How You Feel Thursday

It has been an ok week--no complaints from me.

I passed my Insurance test--I am one step closer to the job of my dreams at least in my head.

My mommy is so wonderful--just had to tell the world.

Yesterday my alter ego (Coco) decided that she wanted to get a french bikini wax. That was my first time--that damn Coco. It wasn't as painful as I thought it was going to be.

I am going to work it out--there is a plan.

I need to start writing my topics down because I had something to talk about but now I can't remember it. I promise to do better next week.

Monday, December 8, 2008


I kind of reconnected with a guy I had a crush on in undergrad. I will never tell who it was. He was so nice to me and that is enough to make me crush.

Ok so we know it has be a little abnormally cold in this area but it is still late fall. Well why did my uncle's ex-wife send the children down her with capris? It is late fall in Georgia--no one should be wearing capris especially children that stay sick.

I had more but the heck if I can remember it. I will update!

Thursday, December 4, 2008

Tell 'Em How You Feel Thursday

It is official my car is totaled! It is time to buy a new car whether I want to or not. It is kind of difficult to think about then when you have no job.

It hurt to say goodbye to Jellybean--we have been through so much in the past 11 years, 5 months and 11 days. Oh the stories she could tell--especially late night creeping.

The other day I drove my mom to work and had to pick her up. Well when I picked her up she checked her voicemail. There was a message about my car. Let me make sure you know that I was driving So she tells me to write a phone number done. I look at her like she has lost her mind. She gets mad. Mind you she has a school bag with paper and pen in it and she is using one hand to hold the phone. Craziness I tell you!

I tried something new with my hair. It is pulled up and curly. It probably won't last long but I needed something new and I think it is what was breaking out my skin (partially).

I am stepping out on faith and I pray that the decision I make will lead to a new beginning.

I am convinced that people don't mind putting their lives in my hand. That is the only way I can explain people pulling out in front of me. I used to think it was b/c I drove a small older car but that can't be it. I used to think well maybe they just didn't see me but that isn't it either. The reason I know this is b/c the rental place gave me a big cherry red Explorer (2008) and they still do it. I mean really is it that serious. They even get mad when you blow your horn. You were wrong--suck that crap up.

That is all I have to say this week. Wish I had more but I have been dealing with the car.

Sunday, November 30, 2008

Praise the Lord!

I have no complaints b/c I knew it could have been much worse. I was looking for detergent to wash my clothes and I looked everywhere. I decided to go to Target since I couldn't find it at any of the stores around here. I drove back from Target and was minding my own business. I was about 5 minutes from my house and a dog came out of nowhere. I hit the dog and it bounced into my windshield and then went flying to other side of the road. My airbags deployed. Through this all I was not hurt or burned by the airbags. That was nothing but the Lord I tell you! The smoke got me a little but a nice person eventually drove by to check on me and went and got me some water. All I can do is praise the Lord! I refuse to make any complaints b/c I knew it could have been worse. My car is 11 years old so I know I am blessed. I could go on but I won't. Just know that I know I am blessed!

Here is the windshield:

Here is the front:

Thursday, November 27, 2008

Happy Thanksgiving!

Happy Thanksgiving to you all!

I hope you are enjoying your day and know that you all have something to be thankful for! I am truly thankful for my family and friends. I am thankful for all that I have (big and small)!


Monday, November 24, 2008

The Dirty Old Man

Ok before I tell you the story let me just say I set myself up for this and I know that.

Well about six months ago I signed up to work with Prim.erica and I have to get my insurance license. My plan was to take the insurance class on the internet but I just couldn't do it. I couldn't sit at my computer for 40 hours and actually take the quizzes after every unit. I could do the class but just not 40 hours. So I had my trainer sign me up for the class where I would be forced to sit there for the 40 hours--one of my biggest mistakes lately!

The class was the last two weekends. The instructor was a seemingly nice older gentleman and he was the only other black person there. I decided the first weekend that I was going to Rub.y's for lunch and he asked could he meet me there. Cool--you know I pay for my food and you pay for yours. Well we talked during lunch about nothing of importance at least to me. I remember he asked me if I was dating but I didn't think anything of it. He later asked me what were good places to eat in the area (he was from a different part of the state) and I told him about a Japanese place. So I thought he would have gone later that night. Well the next day I saw him he said he didn't get a chance to go but he would go the next weekend and then asked if I wanted to go. I said sure once again not thinking anything of it and not minding another free meal. I learned my lesson no meal is ever free.

So the second weekend rolls around and I go to class Friday night. He says something to me about my nice shape and it made me a little uncomfortable but I thought nothing of it. The next day we go to the Japanese restaurant. We are talking even though I feel a little uncomfortable. He asked me what was the oldest person you have ever dated. I was thinking what the hell. I told him six years. So then he was like hypothetically speaking would you go out with a man who just wanted to take you out for lunch on occasion. I was like that is cool. Then he throws himself into the equation. Can you say nasty? Earlier in the day he told our class that he graduated from high school in 1969. He is older than my parents. This man is 30 years older than me. His youngest child is older than me. Can you say nasty?

The other issue I had with him was he knew it was wrong. If anyone knows me they know that I talk about my family all the time and I especially talk about my mommy and granny. Well anyway I was talking about my mommy and she called me while I was at dinner. At some point during the dinner this man told me that I can't tell my mom about him liking me. He also kept talking about whether or not I thought anything was wrong with us going to dinner. I didn't think anything was wrong until I realized he was a nasty old man.

I was just happy that yesterday was the last day I had to see him. I mean what could we possibly have in common. He has 3 children and 5 grandkids and I have no children. He has retired from his job and I have yet to have my first permanent job. I mean we are just at different points in our lives. I want to get married and have kids. I can't do that with him and even if I could I wouldn't do it b/c it is just nasty.

Thursday, November 20, 2008

Tell 'Em How You Feel Thursday

I am feeling some kind of way about a couple of things. My brain is all jumbled up. I can't even think about all the stuff I am thinking about.

So I read Midnight last week. I am returning the book. It cannot be a part of my collection. It served a purpose but d*mn that.

I asked a dumb question today. I feel so stupid.

I miss my honey. I miss him when I am bored. That is so sad. I have also been craving attention lately.

Yesterday I went to my great uncle's funeral. It was interesting. Yesterday it was probably in the 40s. Why did I see someone with capris on? I met my aunts for the first time yesterday. Yes I am 27 years old and have never met my mother's sisters. I actually sat next to one at the funeral.

I thank the Lord that my mom had a job and insurance that covered me. I saw so many jacked up teeth yesterday. I mean missing teeth and rotten teeth--just nasty.

I am also glad that my mother is shaped like her mother's family. If not she would be a big woman. All the women in the family are big and most of them are tall. I took after my mom so I got lucky as well. Most of the women in my dad's family are short and big.

Midori suggested a book to me. It was wonderful. I feel more prepared for the whole finding a job process.

I just want to scream sometimes.

I found my future home and now I just need a job to pay the mortgage.

I have insurance class this weekend. My instructor is taking me to get hibachi Saturday night. I hope he doesn't want me b/c I am just going along for free food (his suggestion not mine).

Ok so most of the people who know me know that I am not the nicest person (I have never been one to fake it) so why can't I be mean to this guy that likes me? I don't like him at all.

There is this nice guy who seems to like me but I don't like him like that b/c he is out there. I mean I know people have pasts but I just can't get down with him like that.

One day in the near future I am going to write a post about one thing but right now I am not there.

Monday, November 17, 2008

Just Haven't Been Feeling It

Lately I haven't been feeling the whole blogging thing which is why I haven't posted. I have thoughts but I just haven't wanted to share them with anyone. Well I think I am back now. My goal is to do better by my loyal readers--you know all 3 of you.

After that statement I have to wonder why people don't get my sarcasm. Anyone who knows me knows that I am queen of sarcasm. But there are some people who just don't get it. If it didn't sound right chances are I was being sarcastic.

I want to know why you tell me stuff and then a couple of days later everything is perfect. I don't know how to approach that situation any more. I am about to start pulling the "oh, ok" on you.

I don't think I will be in D.C. for the inaguaration. Just not in my budget and I can't do all those people.

I am studying to get my insurance license. That should be interesting.

Oh yeah my boo (not really) from college is in a relationship according to bacefook. I was so crushed when I saw that today. I mean we don't even communicate but I still had hopes. (I don't know why since he never even responded to my message.) That is what happens when a guy acts like a complete gentleman--you think about him years later.

Yeah right now I have nothing. Sorry to disappoint.

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Random Thoughts

I miss my best friend and I miss my best friend runner up. I think within a couple of months of each other I lost them both. I mean obviously we weren't compatible. My best friend was a habitual liar and I knew it but I ignored it. The runner up was overly sensitive. If I told you what we had a falling out about you would tell me to move on. Either way I miss the friendships we had (at least what I thought we had). I did try to reconnect with the runner up but to no avail. I will never try to contact the other one. That relationship was truly unhealthy.

I haven't blogged since before Barack Obama became President-Elect. I just couldn't put my feelings into words and I am still struggling with those words. I am grateful that the other side will n ot be in the White House but that is all I can put in words.

I learned a lot from you just by listening. You probably don't know it now but I have learned. I am keeping my mouth shut on whole lot more than I used to. Partially from what I learned and partially from the fact you didn't listen anyway. I am doing it to save my sanity and our friendship.

I have to admit that I watch Desperate Housewives. This admission comes from the fact that I was watching the show and they were showing the Pole Party. The chick in the pink boots taught the one pole dancing class I took.

Monday, November 3, 2008

Thoughts Running Through My Head

Ok there is so much going on in my head and I am about to lose my mind.

I wanted to cry a little while ago. The older I get the worse PMS gets. I need to have a baby or something to make this worthwhile. I was sad about nothing but I just wanted to cry.

I talked to him today and I just wanted to be through. I don't even know how to explain that one. I am so not feeling men right now. I feel asexual.

Why do these men who like me not get the memo? I actually told one dude I wasn't feeling him like that and he just keeps randomly popping up. Dude I am not going to change my mind. One reason I won't change my mind is you are the most inconsistent negro I know. Yeah like I need one more of those in my life.

Ok so tomorrow is the day that history will be made. I am taking part in this election. I haven't volunteered for an election since undergrad when my major professors forced us to do so. I enjoyed the work but it is so irritating to be surrounded by uninformed individuals.

Speaking of which why was I hanging out with some people who just found out about Obama. You know his history and all that. I was just so disturbed that this is the man you plan on voting for and you know nothing about him. Then you are an educator and you don't know his plan on education. Your paycheck depends on the education system and you are asking two days before the education what the candidate's stance on education. There is so much information out there and you just can't look it up.

Barack's granny died. I can almost feel his pain and the reason why I say almost is b/c his granny helped raise him. My granny that just died was the not so close granny. That is another story when I can just let loose. I loved her though. It is just me and Granny G have this bond that is so crazy. Like I know when something isn't right with her before others. We are seriously two peas in a pod. We should be our birthdays are 7 days apart. But this was supposed to be about Barack. I just can't imagine how bittersweet tomorrow will be. I am going to claim this victory for the man.

I have been very apprehensive about tomorrow b/c I know that something fishy could happen.

Thursday, October 30, 2008

Tell 'Em How You Feel Thursday

It has been a long couple of weeks so if I can remember it all I will tell you exactly how I feel about it.

I am very concerned about my mental health/competence. I have two aunts and an uncle who just aren't there. I can't explain it all but it just concerns me. One of my aunts has completely stopped talking.

My family is dramatic so why shouldn't I be. I hate being a lawyer especially when people keep using my legal expertise for their benefit. I am jobless so unless you are paying I am no longer answering questions.

I am starting a new blog with a friend about what you should know about before deciding on whether to attend law school. You get different perspectives b/c we are opposites. We just want people to know things they never knew before taking such a big step.

My dad is slowly driving me crazy. Since my granny died my mother told him that since he and I have bonded over her death he has no need to call her. That means he calls me multiple times a day. Yesterday he called me on some bullshyt. I almost lost it. He hasn't called me today but it is only the afternoon.

I volunteered for the Ob.ama campaign but I really don't want to work. I am just tired of not having a set schedule. Ok I am going to stop now before I make myself cry.

I live in the boonies--proof of this is the truck I drove past. Some woman had painted on the back of her car that she was a "Proud Gun Toting Christian Mom Supporting Mc.Cain". That keeps me on my volunteering duties.
You know I applied for a position over two months ago and got interviewed and I have heard nothing. I didn't even want the job. Why can't you just say I didn't get it.

I am really sad and I don't know exactly why. I just feel like something isn't right in my life. I don't sleep well and I am just not myself. I feel myself spiraling but I don't what to do.

Why is my granny insistent upon me going to a dermatologist? She told me yesterday that I made enough money to go. When I told her that I have bills she told me that they are cheap b/c my mom told her so. I then told her that my mom pays a copay, not the whole bill. She then told me that I could get something at the drug store. Can I just say that that woman is bad for your self esteem? I have spots on my face but not bad enough that I should get grilled. I left the room and she walked down the hall and continued the conversation with me.

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Thank You

Thank you for all the messages, prayers, thoughts and anything else you did during my family's time of bereavement. I truly appreciate you all. I especially loved the flowers from my wonderful fellow Hamptonians. Thank you for the cards especially the one from family of friends!

Here is a picture of the flowers:

Wednesday, October 22, 2008


Death brings family drama! Please if you have siblings make sure your parents have their stuff in order. If there are joint accounts make sure they are "and" accounts instead of "or" accounts. Bring up the subject with your parents and siblings so you have a skeleton of a plan when the event happens.

Monday, October 20, 2008

October 20, 2008

Today I woke up this morning with not a care in the world and a few hours later that all changed. My dad called me to let me know that his mother died. My grandmother's battle with Alzheimer's is over. I am not upset b/c she hasn't been herself in ages. I am in shock though. We knew it was coming but that doesn't mean it still doesn't catch you off guard. I couldn't go see her. I wanted to remember her as the person she was. That was selfish on my part but I don't regret it. She is now where she belongs. Hopefully my grandfather was there waiting for her arrival.

Thursday, October 16, 2008

Tell 'Em How You Feel Thursday

I really think I have an anxiety disorder. I just get extra nervous when I have to talk to people I don't know.

My little cousin was in a pageant last night for Homecoming Court (something new they came up with) and she won. I am proud of her and I hope she goes far. Some of the commentary was crazy. I heard it all second hand b/c I was handling some business. Her mother was mad that she put her brother's name in her bio--her brother is her father's oldest child (can you say hot mess on the part of her mother). The contestants were asked if they could go anywhere on earth where would they go and one of the contestants responded I would go to Rome b/c that is where romantic people go. All the black girls in the pageant decided to sing and I heard they were a hot mess. Also in her bio she didn't put any goals or aspirations--what is going on with the future?

Thanks for the cds and my purse thanks you too.

Are you serious? I told you so! Yeah I said it.

I am scared to try because I am afraid to fail at least at some stuff.

I feel like I am not a good friend b/c I honestly don't know how to comfort people. When my friends are upset I feel helpless.

Did you really say you won't come visit your family and friends b/c your future husband can't travel with you. You won't visit for a year b/c of him. I have issues with that. I understand you love him but if you have business to take care of you need to travel by yourself if he can't come.

Should I go to the doctor about my short term memory? If I don't write it down or do it right when I think about it I will completely forget.

Why do you only call when you want something?

Why have I not sent your thank you card? I feel so bad b/c I look at the card that is addressed to you at least 2 times a day.

I want to make a move but that is just not my style. My cousin told me to go for it.

I had more but that whole short term memory thing is serious.

Monday, October 13, 2008


So I have been thinking and I am in a funk. Everytime I go to church I get a renewed spirit and then something happens to make me forget it. Every time someone speaks about God to me or in my presence they tell me to pray for what I want. I pray for what I want and I get the exact opposite. Lately the only thing I have prayed for is a job so that probably tells you I have no job. What is a girl to do? I mean really what am I to do. I can't even get a regular job b/c I have a law degree. I am truly confused--maybe I need to talk to my pastor.

I am ready to give up on men (don't think I am crossing to the other side). Nothing has happened I am just not feeling them right now. I wish they would go away for a little while and when they come back don't contact me.

My dad is slowly driving me crazy. I know he is concerned about me but why don't you understand I just don't want to talk. If I don't want to talk then I definitely don't want to attend a stranger's wedding rehearsal dinner or their wedding for that matter.

I hate federal holidays when you are expecting something in the mail.

I finally saw "Miracle at St. Anna". It was great--long and maybe too many stories in one but I appreciate what it taught me. It made me that much prouder of the progress that we have made in this country.

Thursday, October 9, 2008

Tell 'Em How You Feel Thursday

While I was driving home from the museum on Sunday why did I hear a radio commercial for chapstick and the individual speaking had a lisp? Why oh why was that the case? Just wrong on so many levels.

My expectations and my reality almost have nothing in common. I am trying to work it out so the two can meet somewhere in the middle. I have been thinking about it a lot lately but not quite ready to write about it.

How old are you? Let your parents know your age. Is anyone in their household paying your bills. I can't even go into depth on that one.

You are cool people but I am confused on whether you are trying to holla or just using me to get back with old girl. I know the first won't happen and the second is b/t you and her and probably her boyfriend.

I visit a lot of blogs but comment on very few. I want to comment but sometimes I think I just don't have the right thing to say. There are a few bloggers out there that I know in real life and I am concerned about you but I don't know how to put that into meaningful words. Know that I e-love you and keep you in my prayers.

I have a friend who is always on some conspiracy theory type stuff. Can I just say everybody is not out to get Southerners, black people and women? Calm down shawty!

My calendar says fall and the leaves say fall but gosh darnit the weather did not get the memo. The leaves are beautiful! I mean I can't compare it to other parts of the country where they get a real fall but it is just beautiful.

Wednesday, October 8, 2008


My 250th Post

So lately I have been doing a lot of thinking on education. I feel like education is an important part of life. I can't think of a time where I have not enjoyed education except for law school. I didn't like law school and maybe that was a sign I didn't heed but anyway moving on. When I was younger I knew I didn't understand science. It was just too abstract for me--I know that makes no sense. I guess the best way to describe it is I need an example of what you are telling me. It isn't easy to give an example of everything scientific. I liked the simple math but when they started adding letters they lost me. I hated building on to something. Math just got harder. I understood but didn't like it much. I loved English and History. They just made sense to me. History was set in stone--I just had to learn it. English was English.

But the real point of this post is that I noticed that people are taking education for granted and not putting forth their best efforts. You can't put all the blame on the individual because there are people who are allowing it to happen. The best example I have of this is my 14 year old cousin. She is a freshman in high school. Her mother doesn't help her much with school work. I don't know if it is because she feels inadequate or what. Anyway my cousin will either ask me or my mother for help. When I help that is all I do is help. We will work on it together. I will give input and she will determine if that is correct. My mother on the other hand is just going to do the work for her. She has had two projects that we have known about this year and my mother has done both of them. She had to make a banner with Adink.ra symbols. My mother had one of her coworkers draw the banner. The second thing was a report on any state other than Georgia. My mother wrote the report and got somebody to draw a picture of the state. The sad thing is my mother is a teacher so she should know better. The other issue I had was that she got the information from a 1988 encyclopedia (you read that right). Obviously any numbers or figures were just wrong. Then my mother tried to change the date in the bibliography. Maybe the teacher won't fact check but the information is just wrong. What is the world coming to when an educator condones such actions. Trust and believe my mother never outright did my work. She would help but she never did it.

Sunday, October 5, 2008

Why I Choose to Vote

This weekend I finally got to do it! I went to the High Museum of Art to see the exhibit: Road to Freedom (Pictures of the Civil Rights Movement 1956-1958). This was the best exhibit I have ever seen. It told the story of the movement by people who were there. It wasn't newspaper articles or a history book. I saw people who were there. It wasn't a reenactment.

I was told that I would get mad at what was done but I honestly didn't. I didn't get mad b/c I saw black people and white people in the museum together. It wasn't one of those times where I felt that only black people were concerned about black people. I was so excited to see white people looking at the exhibit--showing stuff to their children. No one was sweeping history under the rug.

I think my favorite part about the exhibit was the then and now pictures. They had the mugshots of the Freedom Riders and their current pictures. It told what they were doing now.

The only thing that bothered me was this older white lady who was looking at the picture and talking to her friend about the exhibit. She was talking about how she was sheltered from this. She never saw any of this stuff when it happened. There goes that sweeping stuff under the rug. I know it wasn't her fault but what bothered me is there are other people out there in the world just like her. There are people who don't know what black people went through to actually exercise their right to vote. She didn't know that people were being killed and shot at to the extent they were. She was literally living the good, sheltered life. In some cases it is true--ignorance is bliss. I am glad that she was able to look at the pictures and learn the history of what people who look just like me went through in the 50s and 60s.

Today was the last day of the exhibit and I am so glad that I got to experience it. Because of these pictures I will proudly walk up to the voting booth and make my decision on November 4, 2008. I usually vote in every election but now I have even more reason. I am standing on the shoulders of great people who I don't even know but I do want to let them know that their struggle was not in vain.

Thursday, October 2, 2008

Tell 'Em How You Feel Thursday

Just so you know DollFace-I love you! Thank you for letting us in to see what you see in the mirror. I can relate on some levels.

Why do I keep finding these men who want me and I don't want them? Why can't I just say no? I want to like the nice guy but there are so many reasons for me not to. Reason no. 1: I am not attracted to you at all. (Probably never will be because we clearly live in separate states and I am not making any moves to visit you.)

Project Runway is out to get me! That just wasn't cute at all. I will leave it at that in case Jameil is reading.

I thought my mom bought the Hawaiian Punch for the little kids to drink. It was all a front. She bought that crap for herself. I just want to say that is nasty.

Since my grandmother hasn't cooked in forever she has become too good for leftovers. This woman told me she didn't have anything to eat for lunch. The day before she ate some of the spaghetti I cooked (yeah the turkey spaghetti she claimed to hate a couple of weeks ago but had no problem enjoying it this time) and there was some leftover. She said she wasn't eating leftovers and I needed to go get her a sub. She then told me not to get her a sub with all that ketchup on it. I was dying inside (from the laughter) b/c I knew she was talking about the meatball sub.

I just happened to come across the blog of a Hillary supporter who then became a McCain supporter. That chick is crazy. She said that Obama is racist and sexist and he is only 12% African American among other things. Ok that was just doing too much. Ok I can understand you not voting for someone who is racist and sexist (if that is what you belive) but what does his racial makeup have to do with anything?

Can I just say I love when a man takes charge? I say I am independent and all that jazz but in all actuality I just want someone to take care of me. I still want the man to consult me on some things though. That wasn't one of them. :)

I took myself to the movies on Saturday to see the Tyler Perry movie. I enjoyed the movie for the most part and I was happy to see that no woman was saved by her big black knight. I was a little disturbed by the whole husband situation. They could have left out the road trip just to give me a little more background story about the white couple and black couple. I have to give Sanaa props on being an evil woman. I don't think this was that far from other roles--at some point during every movie she is in she plays the dumb woman for some man (she clearly did that).

I forgive you for the hurt you caused me. I am coming to terms with it and one day soon I think we will back to where we were.

My granny got dressed today for the first time since her surgery. She is so random. I bought her new pants with a draw string and she said they fit. My cousin brought her some of her old pants and do you know that is what the woman put on. I want my money back.

Thanks Midori for helping me. I have a few questions and I will email you soon.

Monday, September 29, 2008

Monday Ramblings

Ok so I had an idea for what I think is a deep blog but I just don't feel like thinking about it. That is why I am rambling!

I got asked the dreaded question--why do you want to work here with a law degree? You know the answer to that question--the economy is bad and I have bills to pay. Don't ask the obvious.

I am pretty sometimy. I may be mad at you this week and next week you may be my best friend. But I am not always sometimy. Some people just automatically get kicked to the curb.

When getting married should you really take into consideration the other party's family member? Should his family really be on your side of the lineup if you don't know them? I mean shouldn't the bridesmaids support the bride and shouldn't the groomsmen support the groom? I mean shouldn't I be able to share some secrets with the bridesmaids?

I am thinking about going over to WordPress--I just hate the idea. I mean I know it is easy but dammit I don't want to think about it (the peer pressure is there).

Why did my daddy call on Saturday night pretending like he didn't have b*tch moment last week?

Sunday, September 28, 2008

Shoes and Jewelry

I told you I would take pictures as soon as the camera was back in commission--well it is, so here are the pictures (all 2 of them).

Thursday, September 25, 2008

Tell 'Em How You Feel Thursday

How are you going to call and act like that?

That was one of the most ignorant statements I have heard in a long time. I like you a lot but that was pure bs.

I don't want that job--I didn't even want to apply for it. Help me find a legla job please! I have been applying with no luck.

Stop waking me up unnecessarily. That is something that can wait an hour or two and you are stressing when you wake up that early. It is not good for your health.

I really appreciate the help when I call you. I desperately needed it on Monday and now I feel so much better.

Thank you for listening to me vent Friday. I know we don't talk often but I know you are a phone call, text message or facebook post away.

I think it is time to let go. I just don't know how to.

When I completely understand the situation I can answer more of your questions. Right now I don't know as much as I should and that is my fault. I am not as feisty as I thought I was.

Gay or straight--do you even know? If you don't then don't speak on it.

My new responses are ok, umm yeah, oh ok.

Why are you so needy? I love you dear but damn go with the flow. It won't hurt.

Were you paying attention in middle school? Look at a map and stop asking me that question.

America wake up! Hold these politicians accountable. Don't be like a girl I once worked with who said I vote Republican b/c my parents vote Republican. Know what the candidates are about--that is how we ended up with 4 extra years of Bush. I am not telling you to vote for Barack b/c you may not agree with his platform but do you know his platform?

I just knew they were getting a divorce. Somebody done flipped the script on me! And no I was not the other woman--there was no other woman.

My feelings are hurt! I called and even sent a text but no response. I guess I am at the bottom of the totem pole.

Wednesday, September 24, 2008


Blogging is about venting so I feel like I need to vent.

My dad is full isht. He called my mother and I just happened to answer the phone--me and my mom have separate phone lines and she just happened to walk out of the house right before the phone rang. Mind you I have a cell phone and house phone so if you didn't call either of those you weren't calling for me. So he called and says I haven't heard from you. I am thinking that is because I haven't called you. He goes on a rant about how I could call and check on him. I was thinking the same thing since the last two weeks I was having chest pains and a permanent headache but he only calls to fuss. I understand that he has high blood pressure but I have issues too. I check on his issues just like he checks on mine. Does he know that I am trying to figure out how to pay my student loans and credit card bills? No b/c he doesn't call asking about me. He just fusses because I haven't called him. I just have no words. He even had the nerve to tell me that I didn't know what tired was when I was talking about taking care of my grandmother. Can you say pissed? It is one of the hardest things to take care of person who was once capable of taking care of themselves. You are frustrated and they are frustrated which isn't good. And to top it all off we are both alike so you know sparks fly and it is just tiring.

Ok I am finished venting for the day.

Tuesday, September 23, 2008

Weekend in the A

So last weekend I went to Atlanta and had a ball. Unfortunately there are no pictures--I have a good reason this time: the battery in my camera died. :( I got to hang with some of my favorite people and meet some new people (at least meet them face to face).

Saturday I was up bright and early so I could finish up some business from Friday. I got dressed and finished my business. I drove to Atlanta to meet up with those wonderful bloggers of the A at Atlanta Bead. It was great. If you want to see pictures visit We met up and made some jewelry. I just want everyone to know that Babs is just as funny in real life as she is on her blog. I got to meet KKAve, Keyalus and Mimi. I actually remember playing MarioKart with Mimi at the Nintendo DSLite party but it was good to hang out with her again. I made a necklace and some matching earrings--you know me I have to be a little extra. Babs, Mimi and KKAve made necklaces and Keyalus made a bracelet. My necklace and earrings were pretty cute if I say so myself. It has black stars and black and clear beads. We all brought snacks to share and I bought Babs some birthday cupcakes since I wasn't able to celebrate her birthday last month.

Also I felt the wrath of Babs when I offered to hook up Keyalus but didn't do the same for Babs. I will say in my defense that Keyalus had just brought up the subject of the hookup so I offered it to her. Needless to say the next time I get the hookup I will be emailing Keyalus, Babs and Mimi. Ladies you now have it in writing.

After leaving the arts and crafts I went to visit my first law school classmate. We went out to late lunch/early dinner. The company was great but the food was terrible. I ordered steak medium well and it was well done almost burnt. The rice was overcooked. Something was wrong with our waiter. I think he had an anxiety disorder. We went back to her house and hung out. I got to go shopping in her closet and got new shoes. Can I say they are the hotness? Pictures will soon follow.

My friend from college was in town so I picked her up around 9:00 and we went to Cafe Circa (a restaurant owned by Hampton University alums). The atmosphere was nice and the hostess was great. The dessert was ok but definitely not rave worthy like the waitress made it out to be. We talked and talked and talked some more. We discussed more lies that my ex best friend told and it is amazing how she told the same lies to people with variations. She got really lucky that the people she lied to don't talk to each other as often as we would like to. Another Hampton alum met us there and we tried to take a picture together but this is when I realized that the camera was dead. We left the restaurant to meet up with my friend's linesisters. We went to Barley's. There was live music--it was wonderful. The police officer outside was hilarious. He said he wanted to sit there and watch them count his vote. I dropped my friend off around 2:00 in the morning. I then headed to "The Man". That is what my friend calls him. I had a little adult fun and went to sleep some time after 4:00 a.m.

Sunday was a miserable day for me. I woke up with a sinus headache which was partially my fault--I took some allergy medicine that dried me out. I had congestion. All I did was sleep on his couch on Sunday. I eventually drove home. That was the worst drive of my life. I got home around 9:00 and went to sleep.

My weekend in the A started off great but ended badly.

Thursday, September 18, 2008

Tell 'Em How You Feel Thursday (update)

The week started out ok but then it got bad but now it is much better!

1. I appreciate the call but it just wasn't the right time. Next time call me earlier in the day and we can make it happen.

2. My mother's siblings are probably my least favorite relatives. My uncle--not the one who lives with us but the other one pissed my off like no one else has done in a long time. He pissed me off so bad I cried for a good 30 minutes--my granny and ls had to calm me down. We got into an argument and his parting shot was I have a demon in me. The argument started when he told me that back hurts because I lay around all day. Anyone who has talked to me since my granny had surgery knows that woman has me running ragged. It is such a stressful situation and the stress has given me headaches and backaches. This negro who comes to the house every two weeks while granny is sick had the nerve to imply that I am lazy. Can you say pissed? He is officially no longer a member of my family. The rest of the family can claim him but he is not a relative of mine.

3. I applied for a job b/c my mother's friend said it paid a certain amount. She lied. I talked to the people today and when doing the math before taxes it doesn't even pay $30,000. What bills am I going to pay with that? Am I wrong for saying that? The other issue is it is in the insurance industry and has nothing to do with law.

4. I get to see my college buddy MJ. I am so excited. I haven't the slightest idea what we are going to do but I am sure we will have fun doing it.

5. Why do I have so much crap? I shredded a box of crap that I have been holding on to for entirely too long. I was happy to see it go though.

6. I am ready for Saturday afternoon--can't wait for the gathering. Hopefully pictures will follow.

7. Why are old women so nosey? Whenever someone from the church calls my granny they want to know what I am doing. Check on her health not my business.

8. Why are some voters cutting off their noses to spite their faces? You are broke and you know it is b/c of the current administration (and some bad mistakes you have made) but you choose to vote for that man b/c you wouldn't dare vote for a ni99er (your words not mine).

9. I am angry at myself b/c I bought a t-shirt from Target a few weeks ago and wore it once. I have not seen that shirt since I washed it. I remember washing it but I don't remember folding it up from the dryer. Somebody took my shirt.

10. I am starting to hate to hear my name b/c it means somebody wants something. I hear my name entirely too much during the day.

11. I won't hear my name so much this weekend b/c I am leaving. I am thinking about coming back but it may be hard to do.

12. Why harass me and when I do what you want me to do nothing happens? I hate that crap and I hate that I fell for it. I should have stuck to my guns and then my feelings would not have gotten bruised a little.

13. I made a collage of pics on Kod.ak.gall.ery and got it in the mail today. It made me smile. It is the highlights of my life from the end of college to the present day.

14. I can't wait to see you this weekend. Big smile and hug! Thanks for the call--I can feel your excitement through the phone.

15. I had a last minute closing today or rather just the signing of a mortgage. I must preface this with gas is $4.39 a gallon and that isn't even the gas station I go to (the gas station I go to has run out of regular unleaded). The closing is about 30 minutes away. I had to go to FedEx before I went to the closing b/c I needed a tracking number to send to the company I was doing the closing for. Well anyway I call the man who is supposed to sign the mortgage and tell him that I am coming at 6:00. He is like what am I signing? I tell him a mortgage and he says that he thought he was signing something with the title. I keep it moving b/c that is b/t him and the mortgage company. I told him what I had and told him that I would be there at 6. He said could I push it back to 7:30 b/c he is going to play basketball. I got the dumb look on my face b/c I know this ni99er (yes he was one of those) didn't. This is about your property and you want to go play basketball. That should have told me something was fishy but I just kept it moving. Well I drive to get the shipping slip and then go back to his house. I get to the house eventually and he isn't there. I call to see where he is and it goes to voicemail. Then this woman pulls up about 5 minutes afterwards. I talk to her and she says he doesn't live there. She is renting from him. I call him back to see where he lives and he says he lives in Atlanta. I was hot plus 27 because that means I went through all that and won't get paid b/c the closing isn't going to happen. I used at least 2 gallons of gas and got nothing out of it. This is why the mortgage industry is the way it is--they are just giving loans to anybody. I repeat anybody. He doesn't care if the mortgage gets paid for real. He is more concerned with playing basketball.

Sunday, September 14, 2008

Random but that is what I am known for

It has been a few days. I am still somewhat stressed but I did my own thing this weekend. I got a new purse, picture frame and a pedicure. I paid some bills. I paid those by the grace of God b/c trust and believe my account was looking real messy. I was able to pay a loan payment so you know God took care of me!

Here is a picture of the purse:

Since we are talking about my stress I have another example of how stressed I am. I don't remember when I had my last cycle. I know I saw it twice in August but who remembers when. Yeah you read right-2 times.

Thank you MJ for saying the right thing at the right time. It really warmed my heart and let me forget about the stress for once.

You are my friend but I am having a hard time getting over your rudeness to me. I mean I was looking out for your best interest and I stated that. I didn't say anything mean to you like other people did. I also went off what you had just told me days before. I mean my feelings were truly hurt.

I may have hurt the man's feelings. He wanted to hear something and I told him what was my truth and he wanted something else. I mean my truth was good just not what he wanted to hear. I hurt his ego a little but he knows I still care.

My granny sat outside for the first time since before the surgery. She is making progress but she is still not doing enough as far as I am concerned.

You know I missed my 1 year anniversary for this blog--it was almost 3 months ago.

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

It is catching up to me!

I am stressed and it is about to make me physically sick. I am starting to have chest pains. I try to talk to some of my friends about it but I get the cold shoulder from some and others I just can't talk to about it. I would talk to my mom but she is the cause of some of the stress. I am leaning on God's word but it is so hard. I want to talk but I want to know that I won't be judged or pitied. I want a shoulder to cry on. I don't want to hear that it will be ok (I have heard that for the past 12 months or so-give me something new). I wish I was still @ UGA so I could get some affordable counseling.

Thursday, September 4, 2008

Tell 'Em How You Feel Thursday

1. I love my granny but she is driving me crazy. My status on Gmail clearly says, "My granny must have pledged a sorority because she is stepping on my nerves."

2. Sarah Palin--so much to say but don't want to take up too much space. Can I really take you serious when you didn't bother to tell your parents you were the VP candidate? They found out just like I did--better yet, their friend from Atlanta called and said turn on the tv. Bristol and the baby daddy--will they get married and if they do will they stay married? You have a special needs child that is 4 months old and you are serious about this run? I might feel better if he was 2 or 3. I guess she can run b/c Bristol was probably taking care of the babies anyway. That hot mess of a speech you gave-just leave it at hot mess.

3. I got attacked by ants on Sunday night. My foot was swollen for a couple of days.

4. RDE, I love you and if you ever need anything I am here for you. I know you are going through it but you are loved and she is loved. Be strong!

5. Can I have friends that will be there in my desperate times? If you need me I am there and there will be no questions asked. If I have a bed it is yours no questions asked--no hesitation. I thought about this and I know it is true. Rethink some friendships!

6. I like you but I don't love you so where is this really going? I keep seeing others that put a smile on my face but I don't double dip. It is time to let you go.

7. For once in my life I am in the passenger seat letting God do his thing. This is so much easier--why didn't I do this sooner?

Monday, September 1, 2008


It has truly been a trying 24 hours. I was without a place to rest my head last night b/c I had a moment. I needed to get away from my family for a little while and I did. My girl RDE is truly Ride or Die! She came through even though she was going through a very personal time in her life. I will definitely be lifting her up in my prayers. When I arrived at our destination last night I stepped in an ant bed. It was as bad as it sounds except I didn't know what I stepped in b/c it was dark outside. My left foot is swollen.

This morning was ok but I eventually had to come back home. I let my mom know that I was coming home and she told me that I couldn't come into my neighborhood the way I normally do because the police had blocked off the entrance. They blocked it off b/c one of the neighborhood crackheads was threatening people and someone called the police. The SWAT team came and by the time I got home they had gotten him out of the house with tear gas. His mother was at our house b/c we are close with their family.

Well when I was about to drive down my street I thought it was still blocked off b/c there was an ambulance in the middle of the street. I drive around the neighborhood the long way and get close to my house and realize that the ambulance is at my house. I pull up and find out that my granny is in the back of the ambulance. She passed out or something. My mother said she went to the bathroom and when she came back my granny was straight as a rod in the chair she normally sits in when she sits up for awhile during the day. She tried to communicate with my granny but she was unresponsive.

I drive my mommy to the ER while my granny and uncle are in the ambulance. If I hadn't come home when I did I would have never known that my granny had an episode. No one called me or anything. I know my mommy wouldn't have called b/c she was calm for once and handled the situation.

My granny made it to the ER and everybody stayed for about an hour and then disappeared. This includes my granny's other two children. The trifling uncle said he was so drained and tired. He needed something to eat. He came home, ate and of course left his mess in the kitchen and no one has heard from him since.

My granny is staying at the hospital tonight for observation and of course my mom has to stay with her. My granny refuses to stay by herself for the night. My mommy isn't going to make it like this much longer.

Thursday, August 28, 2008

A Moment in History

I am a witness to history and so are you (if you are watching)! Barack Obama is the Democratic Nominee for the President of the United States of America!

Saturday, August 23, 2008

Craziness Again

So if you don't know I don't do children unless it is absolutely necessary. Well it is my uncle's weekend with his children which means that I have to see them this weekend. I normally go out of town on those weekends but since my granny is in the hospital I am sticking close to home. Anyway this man brings them back to our house around 7:45 and then says I am going somewhere but I will be back in a little while. He also said when he comes back he will put them to bed. I should have known then that that was all a lie. Around 10:30 I realized that he wasn't coming back so I got them ready for bed. I fell asleep around 12 and he showed up around 2:45. Can you say hot ass mess? This morning I am in my bedroom with the door closed and he walked out of the house without saying anything. I just happened to walk out of my room to use the bathroom and found out he was gone. I pray for the little ones b/c they have two absent minded parents who are more concerned about their personal lives.

The other day I was talking to an old friend and we just happened to be talking about people having babies. He told me that he heard that my ex best friend had another baby by the same guy. Her first child is no more than 19 months old. That is pure craziness! I would love to find out but I don't want to get sucked back into her life of lies. How do you know someone so well but know so little about them. She definitely made me reexamine some relationships in my life. It is probably because of her that I have no problem cutting off communication with people.

Ok that is all the craziness that I can think of right now but I am sure that I have experienced more than that--just blocked it out.

Friday, August 22, 2008

Have you...

Ever had one of those "I told you so" moments? I have and I just want you to know that I fought the urge to say it out loud! I am growing. Actually I probably didn't say it because I was thinking about other things. Oh well I guess I am still growing.

Wednesday, August 20, 2008

Random Thoughts

Ok so I was on my grad school's alumni site and someone started the discussion about the whole HBCU experience vs. PWI experience. I quickly took offense b/c to make the PWI experience seem better they quickly put down the HBCU experience. I read, "we bonded with black people more b/c there were so few of us, my financial aid was on time, I can get a job anywhere, I had air conditioning." I guess I must have had a special HBCU experience b/c I bonded with a lot of people and it had nothing to do with their race. I mean there were people I didn't like but I seriously doubt we didn't bond b/c of their race. When classes started I only had to pay what I owed--my scholarship was posted to my account. I guess I could get a job anywhere but then again I didn't try b/c I got into your PWI. I had air conditioning too. I mean I guess I can see where they were coming from but did you have to put down my experience to get there. I honestly appreciate my HBCU experience and I wouldn't trade it for anything in the world. I won't comment on my take on the PWI experience.

So it is official--my feet are the hotness! I was in the airport and some random man told me he liked my feet and actually discussed it with his wife/woman. Not the first time my feet have been complimented but it is the first time that a man has had a conversation with his significant other about my feet. Not the first time that someone has conversed about the hotness of my feet either.

My mother and I are being run ragged by this whole granny in the hospital thing. My mother finally came home today to get her car and guess who didn't leave it here? Can you say pissed? I did make it home in enough time to wash--I just need to finish drying. I will do that in the morning. My mother hasn't slept in her bed since last Thursday.

Speaking of the trifling people in my family--my uncle has officially been caught in a lie. So he didn't go to work on Sunday b/c he was allegedly sick with worry about my granny. He told my mother that he went to the doctor to get checked. He went to the hospital on Sunday to "relieve" my mother so she could rest. He kept calling her to see where she was and when she was coming back. Well when I got home Sunday night he wasn't here and didn't get home until almost 3 in the morning. He got up and went to the hospital on Monday morning to "see" granny. Well today I put two and two together. He left the hospital to go spend some time with some woman and got my granny's doctor's receptionist to give him an excuse. The only reason why he went to see my granny on Monday was to get the excuse. He hasn't been back to see her since that day but he has made time to go to the gym for hours each morning.

The wedding was beautiful! The bride wore her mother's wedding dress for the ceremony and then changed after being introduced at the wedding. Of course I have no pictures of me b/c I left my camera in the car. I would have gone back to get it but I felt terrible. My allergy was acting up from the corsage I had on. The groom was so excited. When she walked into the church he started crying and when she made it to the end of the aisle he mouthed that he loved her. It was one of those weddings that you just felt the love. I am jealous and I will not lie. But not crazy jealous just jealous that I don't have a love like that. I wish them the best and I know that they will be ok in their life together.

Oh yeah I got to fly first class. That was truly the hotness.

I talked to the man last night and we talked for a little while about weddings and why did he say that if he ever got married there would be at least 8 groomsmen and he could go for 12. I have a lot of friends but I just feel like I don't have 12 friends that I can ask to stand before God and support my marriage. And by support I mean when we have problems I can call and they are willing to listen and give me sound advice and push us to make it work. Ok looking at that sentence I guess anyone I consider a friend can do that so maybe there are more than 12 people. But that is still a lot of people. Oh well I don't see marriage to each other in our future. I actually don't see marriage in his future but I see it in mine.

Tuesday, August 19, 2008

I need a break!

So I am sitting in my granny's hospital room ready to go insane! My family doesn't communicate and it is crazy. My mother has people shuttling her around instead of driving her own car which mean that at some point during the day my car has to be driven back to my house without me in it. This is all so my spoiled uncle doesn't have to drive his car. Mind you my car has over 220,000 miles on it and is in need of lots of repairs. Can you tell I am frustrated? I need a break! I have to do stuff at home but I can't because I am at the hospital all day! I need to clean and wash but I don't have time to do it. Anybody want to be a granddaughter for a day? I haven't been able to cook a meal in almost a week. I don't want to eat out anymore!

Thursday, August 14, 2008

Long Week

I have a lot to say and hopefully I will remember all of it.

My granny had her surgery on Wednesday. She is doing well. She is supposed to lie on her back. She was not trying to hear that. She had us propping her up to get her on her side. I left the hospital and my mom said she finally decided that she had to lie on her back. They weren't giving her enough pain medication but now she is very rested.

The man called to check on me and to see how many granny was doing. I mean that is what he is supposed to but it still felt good to hear his voice and the concern.

The other man keeps calling me and I really don't like him on that level. He is so sweet and all that but he is too old for me and I am not physically attracted to him. He also lives in another state. I don't want any parts of that. How do I let him down? And why do I keep attracting these men? I am so not in the market and it has nothing to do with man previously mentioned. I really just want to have some me time to figure out what I want.

I am so excited about my back's wedding this weekend. I know she is going to be a beautiful bride and I know that their marriage will be happy. He is definitely the kind of man that you want to take home to your mom. His family adores her and her family adores him. I can't wait to witness this one. I also can't wait b/c this is my last wedding to attend this year. I am a hostess so hopefully I will have pictures to upload for you all.

I am also excited about this weekend b/c I feel almost like an adult. I know that sounds wierd b/c I am 27 but this is the first time I am going somewhere I have never been to and I am renting a car. I never rent cars unless it is absolutely necessary--that means I have only rented a car once.

Once again I have to give a shout out to DollFace. The girl is supportive and loving. If she is your friend take good care of your relationship. She is also hilarious. Thanks for talking to me yesterday and checking on me. I hope everything is ok with your friend.

Ok you all know that my granny had surgery and before the surgery she couldn't eat or drink for 12 hours. She kept talking about how she wanted fried chicken. It was hilarious. My mom told us that a person she knew had the same surgery and they couldn't eat fried foods afterwards. So then my mom decides that she is going to stop eating fried foods. After they take my granny down to the OR I take my mom to get something to eat b/c she stole my car from me. This is literally five minutes after she says she is not going to eat fried foods. We are driving down the street and I ask her what she wants to eat. We see a Church's Chicken and she is like let's go there. I had to make up a word on that one. I told her that she can't have that because that is the most friedest food there is. Yes I said friedest! Needless to say I didn't stop there.

Ok so I forgot some of it but I am sure it will come back to me when I am on the plane trying to get to my destination and no internet.

Monday, August 11, 2008


I don't know how to be vulnerable unless you push me up against the wall. I am not going to let you know all the thoughts running through my head. I want to but in the past when I did share I was told that wasn't how I felt. That impacted me greatly. I keep it all bottled up sometimes. I want to let you in. I want you to love me unconditionally. I want you to hold me. I want to be able to cry in your arms or beam at you brightly but I just can't. Honestly it is not your fault but sometimes our situation doesn't help me let it all out. It really is time for me to move on. To let you go. To let me go. I need to let the real Coco out. The Coco that no one really knows. I don't even know this Coco because I hold in too much.

Friday, August 8, 2008

Randomness for 08/08/08

Happy 08/08/08 to all my lovely sorors!

Did you really think I was going to take the bait and have a conversation about that? HAHAHAHA!

Dude I know how you have done your friends in the past so I am dealing with you at arm's length. You probably didn't like what I said but it was the truth. I try to speak the truth regularly but sometimes I slip up and lie. That was not one of those times.

Did she really look like a movie star? I mean she was pretty already. You just didn't realize it.

So am I wrong for wanting to walk myself down the aisle if someone ever proposes? I mean I would love for my mom to do it but then I want her to have her mother of the bride moment. I figure I don't belong to daddy so can he really give me away.

How are you going to tell me how it works in the legal field when it comes to applying for a job. Last I checked you were engineer with no job. Yeah I will definitely take your advice. HAHAHAHA!

Dollface is cool as heck. We don't talk on the phone often but she always come through. I think she knows when I need a little attention and then I have a text message. That is why we are friends. We can give each other space and come around when there is a need. I love you so much! Can't wait to sip margaritas on the beach. Just don't be inviting randoms--there must be approval first. There are some people I expect to join in and then there are others.

If someone ever proposes can I have 50 hostesses or 50 honorary bride's maids? I mean I just don't want to have a big bridal party. I am exaggerating with the 50 but only by about 5 or 10 (just kidding).

Jam, thanks for all the words of encouragement in the past. I have been doing a better job with the bible and I am doing better with my faith. Keep passing on the word and I will do the same.

Thursday, August 7, 2008

Confession is good for the soul

or so they say!

My confession is I am a shameless flirt! That is why I keep attracting these men. As long as I am in a comfortable environment I will flirt. I will make you think you have a chance. Most of the time I am not comfortable around men I find truly attractive. I am quiet and not my outgoing self. If you have met me and you think I am quiet chances are I was uncomfortable or trying to get my bearings. I absolutely love to be the center of attention so quiet I don't do. If you don't seem threatening I am going to make sure I am the center of attention.

My name is Coco and I am a shameless flirt!

Maybe after thinking about this I will stop doing it and attracting these men. Food for thought?

Wednesday, August 6, 2008

Why Me?

Why do I keep attracting men that I have no interest in like that? I mean they are sweet guys but they honestly don't do anything for me. Can at least one man I am attracted to be attracted to me?

Tuesday, August 5, 2008


this was not supposed to be my first blog after the wedding weekend but it just happened so I had to blog about it.

I just came from grocery shopping with my mother. I set myself up for this one and didn't even know it until we got in the car. I must first say that my mother has never gone grocery shopping by herself since I was a toddler. When we moved back in with my granny my granny did it all. So we get in the car and my mom asked me about how much I think groceries would be. That is when I knew there would be problems. She wanted me to spend $50. Mind you these groceries are to feed 4 adults, one of whom is a 6'4", 230 pound man (give or take a few pounds). Let's just say I brought no vegetables. She picked up 3 apples. Who picks up 3 apples for a house of more than 1? I have meat but no sides. Remind me to never go grocery shopping with my mom. I want sides to my meals--that is meal with an s. I got a side for one meal. Do you know how frustrating that is? Especially since it is supposed to keep my granny from going to the grocery story. Granny Coco along with Coco needs vegetables.

If you want to know exactly how I feel think of Michael and Janet's "Scream" video. That is where I am.

Wednesday, July 30, 2008

For real

Ok so Monday my mother and I went out to late lunch/early dinner with another mother and daughter. The mother is my mother's friend from us living in Florida (my dad's linebrother's wife) and the daughter is my friend. We were born a month apart. She is married with a kid and I am the exact opposite. Well anyway we were all talking and they were thinking about the "old" days. We were talking about my godparents. Well I have never never met my godparents. Isn't that some craziness? These are the people who are supposed to take care of me if something happened to my parents and I have never met them. I guess we know who wasn't going to be scooped up by the godparents ever. Well anyway my mother just figured out their first names and is like I can't remember their last names. Can I say they have the most common first names! I guess I will never meet these people.


Ok so I am not going on vacation but I thought the title was appropriate. I feel like I am an island. Like there is no one around me most of the time. I feel like there is no one I can give full disclosure to but that is only b/c I am really critical of myself. If I don't like the way it sounds do I really expect someone else to like the way it sounds. Like I will be sitting with a friend wanting to blurt somthing out but I keep it to myself b/c I either don't want someone to think I am stupid or crazy or whatever adjective you want to use. That is something I really miss about my first therapist. I could tell that man anything and he was so supportive even when I just knew it was crazy.

I also think this is a problem for me because I am an only child. I am accustomed to be alone but sometimes I just want to be around people. Nothing can be done about that now b/c Mama Coco is not having any more children and Daddy Coco better not even think about it.

Sunday, July 27, 2008


Ok so I need this is like my 15th post today but I had to share this one.

Wednesday I received an email from one of my sorors. She asked me about some girl who claimed to have crossed my undergrad chapter around the time I was at Hampton. The girl said she attempted Hampton from 2001-2004. When she mentioned the girls name I was like all I can say is she isn't my linesister and I don't think she crossed the line after mine. She showed me a picture of the girl and I was like I have never seen her in my life. Well I said let me make sure because I had only been to Hampton twice since I graduated and one time was before Spring '04 crossed and the other time I was drunk most of the time (it was Homecoming and I lost my mind that year--may be why I haven't been back). I contacted my little sister and she was like she isn't my linesister. I then told my little sister what the girl claimed her line name was. The story gets better. The girl is using another girl's line name. But it gets better. She is using the line name of a girl who lives in the same city as her.

That might not seem like a great story but the girl she is pretending to be just moved to her city and joined the grad chapter that is over the chapter that advises the undergrad chapter in that city. She actually went up to one of the people in the grad chapter and pretended she crossed AK.A. She said she hadn't gotten around to joining the undergrad chapter but she wanted to do stuff in the name of the sorority.

My biggest issue is why in the heck are you concerning yourself with sorority business when your behind started undergrad 7 years ago. Even if you were a member of the organization school should be you top priority. She is 26 years old trying to be all up and through undergrad business.

All About Me

ten random things about me...
1. I was born in Orange County and grew up in Peach County
2. I am addicted to crime shows
3. I collect tote bags--I think I have gotten a new one each month this year.
4. I hate trying things on when shopping and will return something after trying it on at home.
5. I can't walk around most places with shoes or socks (mostly homes)
6. I spend most of my money on food.
7. I can't use the bathroom with socks on.
8. Up until I moved back home I started each morning off with sitting on the toilet talking to myself.
9. Some days I don't eat but I am not anorexic--some days I am honestly not hungry. I will force myself to eat b/c I get hunger headaches but my stomach is not affected by not eating. I try to work on it but some days I just am not hungry.
10. I crave Sonics Lemon-Berry Slush.

nine ways to win my heart...
9. Compliments
8. Don't have asshole tendencies
7. Intelligence
6. Show concern
5. Cook me a meal
4. Rub my feet and back
3. Let me ramble
2. Run my bath and ...
1. Accept the good and the crazy

eight things I want to do before I die...
8. Visit Egypt
7. Take my mommy on a all expenses paid vacation
6. Start my own profitable business
5. Pay off debts to ensure that the kiddies will have all my money free and clear
4. Buy a vacation home
3. See all the beautiful sites of America
2. Love someone unconditionally on that other level
1. get married and have chaps

7 ways to annoy me...
7. tell me it will all work out (I don't want to hear that)
6. Talk about problems and offer no solutions
5. Make an offer and then forget about it
4. Take me for granted
3. ask me some dumb shit
2. Be rude
1. Expect me to kiss your ass

six things I believe in...
6. Friendship
5. Love
4. Karma
3. Trust
2. Freedom
1. myself

five things I am afraid of...
5. Getting my heart broken
4. Losing friends
3. Dying alone
2. Never succeeding at my chosen career
1. Falling

four of my favorite things...
4. TV
3. Alone time
2. underwear
1. cooking

three things i do everyday...
3. check my email
2. Sleep
1. think about God

Two things I wanna do right now...
2. Eat
1. Let it go

one person i wanna see right now...
That person knows who they are

Weekend Randomness

Did I say thank you for the comments and text messages?

I really miss group therapy. I mean some of the issues I couldn't relate to but it was nice to bounce my issues off others.

The bridal shower was beautiful. The theme was "Love and the City". The colors were black and pink. The keepsake for the attendees was a martini glass wrapped in pink tissue paper with a black bow. We made charms for the martini glass. The bride to be was beautiful. She got some really nice gifts and some really freaky gifts. Start the marriage off just right. I am so excited for her. With that being said don't invite me to another wedding this year.

When it is about to be my time I am a little needy so yesterday was rough. I got mad at you for no reason. I would apologize but I am tired fo apologizing to you. Even though I was partially wrong you were too. Yesterday proved to me that reading is truly fundamental.

I broke down and purchased a DVD/VCR combo last week. Yes I have been living in this house without a DVD player. I had to get a combo b/c I bought some workout stuff and it came with a video cassette. I am ready to get my workout on.

I am very observant. If I say something then chances are it is not just in reference to your most recent statement. It is probably in reference to a lot of things you said. Normally I just get fed up with hearing the same thing over and over and try to point out exactly what you already said. So don't get mad when what you said comes out of my mouth. I could have said it verbatim but I try to say it nicer than you did.

The Best Way

The best way to get rid of me is to be down right rude. I guess you already knew that so I am gone. Holla!

Saturday, July 26, 2008

Lesson of the Week

Don't ever tell your real friends the truth. They don't like it.

Wednesday, July 23, 2008

More Babbling

Thanks for all the support in my family's time of need. We still don't know much (the doctor's bedside manner left something to be desired) and the doctor didn't tell my grandmother. My uncle had to tell her. She may not have cancer but it is very likely. I pray that it isn't cancer but if it is I know she has the strength to survive. My granny is in good spirits.

So we told my other uncle about it and do you know he hasn't even called my granny. This man lives no more than 15 minutes from us but no phone call, no visit, no nothing.

Why do people get mad at you when you point out the obvious and point out what they already said? I try to look out for you but I am wrong. I know you are going to do what you want to do but I am just reminding you of all the things that you have already said.

I am going to see "The Color Purple" tonight. So excited!

Tuesday, July 22, 2008


I feel like a complete ass after complaining about Granny and her jello. Granny had her colonoscopy and the doctor thinks she has cancer. They are going to have to remove a portion of her colon but we won't know anything until her follow up next Wednesday. I am ok right now--I cried a little but I am going to remain faithful. I just know that I want my granny to be here when I have kids. I want them to know the woman who helped make me the person I am. My granny is so special . We have our differences but that is only because we are just alike. She is the best granny in the world and I wouldn't tried her for anything in the world. I know she will be around for a long time to come.

Monday, July 21, 2008


So I have been irritated for about a day now. A whole bunch of reasons but I am irritated.

Why does my granny always wait to the last minute when it comes to her health. Every time she is on her last pill she calls in the prescription and then wants someone else to go get it. This would be ok if she didn't call in the prescription right before the pharmacy closes and you aren't home and nowhere near the pharmacy. This has happened on more than one occasion. Well tomorrow she has a colonoscopy and she is not allowed to use her insulin until after the procedure. She can only eat clear foods--broth and certain kinds of jello. Well we all know that the broth isn't going to keep up her blood sugar so she needs the jello. She goes grocery shopping every Thursday or Friday. Before she went grocery shopping last week she discussed with me the stuff on her list that she could eat and drink. So for the surprise, wait for it--she didn't buy jello. So around 1:30 she decides she wants jello. She can only eat lemon or lime jello. Do you know how hard it is to find already made lemon or lime jello. Let's just say I went over the river and across the bend and found none. This means that jello has to be made and it takes about four hours for it to set. I want to pull my hair out!

I saw "Wanted" this weekend. The action was great but I could have clearly waited for it to come to dvd. I do want to say I love Angel.ina.

I just filled my car yesterday and why does my mother take my car to work? I don't have money to continually fill my car b/c she rides out the gas. She leaves her car with a quarter of a tank. The only way I can get her not to drive my car is to keep the tank empty but that is so not healthy for my car. I want to pull the rest of my hair out!

Friday, July 18, 2008


I haven't blogged in forever b/c I am still working on my 4th of July post. I remember everything that happened I just don't feel like putting it down on virtual paper. Ok I do feel like putting it down on virtual paper but am taking my sweet time.

Ok so can I say that I am mad at Jack.son but I can almost understand what he was trying to say or at least thinking. I repeat almost. You should never think of cast.rating someone and if you do think about it make sure there is no microphone nearby. You can be angry but express your anger in an articulate manner at least when it comes to the media.

I say almost because I completely understand what the presumptive nominee was saying but his message didn't go to the people who needed to hear it. I don't think he was talking down but I do think the message didn't get to people who needed it. You know the deadbeats. The deadbeats were not in church that Sunday--they don't celebrate Father's Day like that, if they do celebrate Father's Day. Mr. Rainbow should have kept his thoughts to himself or at least made that a truly private conversation. I think he is really just mad because presumptive nominee doesn't need him in this election. He just wants to be needed and is mad that he is about to be obselete.

I was watching a video and someone said that Mr. Rainbow is the most important civil rights leader of this time and I knew then that we have trouble. Who appointed him the leader of a movement? Better yet how does he speak for a whole group of people? If you really look back at the original movement he is only around because he was in that picture of MLK being shot. Where was he when "our" leaders were being locked up and what not? He was minding his own business. He truly just got lucky and has been riding on that luck for 40 years.

I have more to talk about but I am tired and need a nap.

To be continued....

Friday, July 11, 2008

It's Been Too Long...

Since the last time I was on here but so much has happened that I just haven't had the time to blog.

Well since my last heartfelt blog I have been going back and forth on the whole faith thing. I have been having a hard time praying because I feel like when I pray the Lord is not listening. I know he answers prayers and he has done so in the past but these past 18 months I feel like my prayers are going unanswered. Then I go through the whole thing with the prayer and think well maybe I am not praying for the right thing. With that being said when I pray now I just don't ask for anything for myself.

Yesterday my cousin's sister-in-law's husband killed himself in the backyard. He was about to be arrested for taking money for jobs he performed and not doing the job. He had been gambling and it caught up to him. He apologized to his wife b/c he knew that she was borrowing money to pay bills b/c he was gambling. He had just got finished talking to her and she walked in the house. She heard the gunshot and ran back outside to find him dead. Gambling is an addiction and needs to be treated as such.

I have talked to a couple of people about jobs and they are going to help me network. Did I ever tell you how much I hate networking? I really hate networking!

There is more but I am having a brainfreeze and maybe when I come back I will tell you all about the 4th!

Wednesday, July 9, 2008


Read the story on

So my last year of law school I had a painful experience and almost 2 years later I have an explanation. I even blogged about this on Myspace! I can't find the original blog but I do know that I had to drive to the emergency room at 4:00 a.m. crying. It hurt to put my foot on the gas. With that being said think twice about taking some antibiotics. There was no warning then :(

Monday, June 30, 2008

It's Hard Out Here for a Lawyer

It sure is! Today I was rejected once again. I cried and cried and I am sure that I will cry some more. I just knew that this was the job for me. I really wanted that job. I am trying to figure out why I am not the best candidate and sometimes not even a candidate to get interviewed. My grades aren't great but I am a hard worker. How can I get experience if I can't get a job? Today I asked myself what was the point of going to college and law school if I can't get a job. I can't even get a minimum wage paying job b/c I am over experienced. I just feel like I am going to be stuck in my hometown for the rest of my life. I feel like I will not be able to pay all my bills ever. Do you know how many times I have deferred my student loans.

All the things I want to say can't even be put into words. My faith is really shaky right now. I have prayed and prayed and nothing. Other people around me pray and get jobs. It's almost like why should I pray if no one is listening to my prayers. I feel bad for saying that but it has been 18 months and I have no job worth speaking of. People keep telling me to pray and keep the faith but if my faith and prayer haven't gotten me a job in 18 months when will I get a job? Will I have to file for bankruptcy--yes times are about to be that bad? I haven't felt this bad in a long time. I mean I truly hurt. I see all these people around me going to work and paying their bills and I can't do it. I make sure I have the minimum for my credit cards but how is that going to help my debt. I can't even buy gas. I want to believe that God is there for me but it has been 18 months. I don't how much more of this I can take. I don't see a light at the end of the tunnel. I don't even know where the end of the tunnel is.

Sunday, June 29, 2008

My Cousin Got Married

So yesterday my favorite aunt's daughter got married. It was a very interesting wedding and had me sending text messages to people.

I first must talk about the pure fuckery that occurred (yes it was that bad so I had to use that word--you know I don't use that word)! The wedding was outside in my aunt and uncle's backyard and it was at least 90 degrees. One of my cousins decided that he would get drunk before the wedding. The wedding was at 4:00 in the afternoon. One of my other cousins had seen him before the wedding and he was sober so needless to say your boy had a whole lot of alcohol in a very short time. So he was loud and annoying. When the wedding started he was standing in the aisle where the bridal party was walking. One of my uncle's went to get him and pull him to the side. So that was fine--he was quiet for a little while then he started speaking to people. Now remember I said it was hot--well I was using my program to fan myself. He decided that I needed to fan him too. Well I just gave him the program and kept it moving. Well he fanned himself and gave the program back to me. So then he grabs me around my arms and takes the program back and starts fanning me. So his hand moves down my back. This negro is holding me like I am his woman. I try to move away without causing a scene but everytime I moved he moved with me. At some point he kissed my chest. Can you say I felt violated? I couldn't move because I didn't want to ruin my cousin's day b/c he was really loud. He was talking to people as they walked down the aisle. He even shouted out the bride's father when he gave her away. Needless to say I avoided him the rest of the day and I told my bodyguard cousin to ensure he stayed away from me.

Ok so back to the actual wedding. The wedding was nice considering that they planned it in 6 weeks. So I get there before the wedding started but there weren't enough seats. That is why people need to tell people to RSVP to weddings. You need to ensure that you have enough seats for the people at the wedding. About 1/3 of the guests were standing. And how you know that you are at a wedding with n*gg*s--there was a pregnant woman standing (she was 6 months--talked to her at the reception).

So the parents are seated and nothing happens. There is a praise dancer who is supposed to perform and she gets ready to dance down the aisle and my aunt gets up and walks back down and tells the praise dancer it is not time for her to perform. She then walks up to the reverend and talks to him for about 5 minutes. Once she gets finished talking to him the hostesses walk up to the tent and she tells them to go back where they came from. So the praise dancer finally gets her chance to dance. Hot mess--she had to be about 14 or 15 and she was dancing like she was confused. She pulled out those 5 year old dance moves. One of the singers is talking about, "Praise him, Halleluah and blah blah blah!" I am trying to figure out why b/c the girl couldn't dance and who really knows what song she was dancing to b/c it was the instrumental. I also figured out I wasn't the only person who thought she looked a hot mess because when she got finished there was delayed clapping and it wasn't loud at all.

The reverend then takes his precious time walking to the tent. The hostesses come back up to pull the aisle runner down the aisle. The flower girl walks up to the aisle and starts throwing her "flowers" that just happened to be confetti. The bride appears looking very beautiful. She and her father walk down the aisle. The reverend does his thing and they exchange vows and rings. The reverend pronounces them husband and wife and tells him he can salute his bride. They look at him like were you not at the wedding rehearsal and he steps back. He eventually realizes they have not lit the unity candle and they have not had the singing of "The Lord's Prayer" and they also haven't done their individual tributes to one another. They do all that and then they can kiss. He tries to have church before they allow them to kiss. They walk back down the aisle. Drunk cousin is hollering at the people walking down the aisle.

So while the bridal party is taking pictures everyone is standing around talking and I see the bride's uncle and cousin are dressed in the colors of the wedding. Yeah I forgot to tell you about the colors. Royal blue and white--imagine you are in Detroit and you see a pimp walking around in a blue suit--yeah that color blue. So the uncle and cousin have on pants suits. The pants are blue and the shirt is blue and white--big blocks of blue and white. I am ready to go but my cousin has my key and is nowhere to be found. We eventually leave the wedding to go to the reception.

We get to the reception and there are no seats for about 1/3 of the guests. Also during the wedding there was a thunderstorm at the reception site and the electricity went off. It was hot and there was no air. It was so bad that the ice melted. So I go find my "step-mother" (that is what people call her so I guess I will too) and tell her there is nowhere to sit. She decides to go to McDonald's to get some food for her grandson. I drive. When we get back the line for the food is to the door. They added an extra table but by the time I get back it is full. So I stand around frustrated and hot. I eventually get something to drink. I stand in line to get some food and once I get up to the table there are no plates. We have to wait for plates. There are people serving the food and they are literally rationing food off. After all that trouble I soon find out it is only hors d'oeurves. They gave out 3 meatballs, one small sandwich, two chicken wings and two serving spoons full of pasta salad.

Needless to say I was entertained. Violated but entertained!