Monday, June 30, 2008

It's Hard Out Here for a Lawyer

It sure is! Today I was rejected once again. I cried and cried and I am sure that I will cry some more. I just knew that this was the job for me. I really wanted that job. I am trying to figure out why I am not the best candidate and sometimes not even a candidate to get interviewed. My grades aren't great but I am a hard worker. How can I get experience if I can't get a job? Today I asked myself what was the point of going to college and law school if I can't get a job. I can't even get a minimum wage paying job b/c I am over experienced. I just feel like I am going to be stuck in my hometown for the rest of my life. I feel like I will not be able to pay all my bills ever. Do you know how many times I have deferred my student loans.

All the things I want to say can't even be put into words. My faith is really shaky right now. I have prayed and prayed and nothing. Other people around me pray and get jobs. It's almost like why should I pray if no one is listening to my prayers. I feel bad for saying that but it has been 18 months and I have no job worth speaking of. People keep telling me to pray and keep the faith but if my faith and prayer haven't gotten me a job in 18 months when will I get a job? Will I have to file for bankruptcy--yes times are about to be that bad? I haven't felt this bad in a long time. I mean I truly hurt. I see all these people around me going to work and paying their bills and I can't do it. I make sure I have the minimum for my credit cards but how is that going to help my debt. I can't even buy gas. I want to believe that God is there for me but it has been 18 months. I don't how much more of this I can take. I don't see a light at the end of the tunnel. I don't even know where the end of the tunnel is.

Sunday, June 29, 2008

My Cousin Got Married

So yesterday my favorite aunt's daughter got married. It was a very interesting wedding and had me sending text messages to people.

I first must talk about the pure fuckery that occurred (yes it was that bad so I had to use that word--you know I don't use that word)! The wedding was outside in my aunt and uncle's backyard and it was at least 90 degrees. One of my cousins decided that he would get drunk before the wedding. The wedding was at 4:00 in the afternoon. One of my other cousins had seen him before the wedding and he was sober so needless to say your boy had a whole lot of alcohol in a very short time. So he was loud and annoying. When the wedding started he was standing in the aisle where the bridal party was walking. One of my uncle's went to get him and pull him to the side. So that was fine--he was quiet for a little while then he started speaking to people. Now remember I said it was hot--well I was using my program to fan myself. He decided that I needed to fan him too. Well I just gave him the program and kept it moving. Well he fanned himself and gave the program back to me. So then he grabs me around my arms and takes the program back and starts fanning me. So his hand moves down my back. This negro is holding me like I am his woman. I try to move away without causing a scene but everytime I moved he moved with me. At some point he kissed my chest. Can you say I felt violated? I couldn't move because I didn't want to ruin my cousin's day b/c he was really loud. He was talking to people as they walked down the aisle. He even shouted out the bride's father when he gave her away. Needless to say I avoided him the rest of the day and I told my bodyguard cousin to ensure he stayed away from me.

Ok so back to the actual wedding. The wedding was nice considering that they planned it in 6 weeks. So I get there before the wedding started but there weren't enough seats. That is why people need to tell people to RSVP to weddings. You need to ensure that you have enough seats for the people at the wedding. About 1/3 of the guests were standing. And how you know that you are at a wedding with n*gg*s--there was a pregnant woman standing (she was 6 months--talked to her at the reception).

So the parents are seated and nothing happens. There is a praise dancer who is supposed to perform and she gets ready to dance down the aisle and my aunt gets up and walks back down and tells the praise dancer it is not time for her to perform. She then walks up to the reverend and talks to him for about 5 minutes. Once she gets finished talking to him the hostesses walk up to the tent and she tells them to go back where they came from. So the praise dancer finally gets her chance to dance. Hot mess--she had to be about 14 or 15 and she was dancing like she was confused. She pulled out those 5 year old dance moves. One of the singers is talking about, "Praise him, Halleluah and blah blah blah!" I am trying to figure out why b/c the girl couldn't dance and who really knows what song she was dancing to b/c it was the instrumental. I also figured out I wasn't the only person who thought she looked a hot mess because when she got finished there was delayed clapping and it wasn't loud at all.

The reverend then takes his precious time walking to the tent. The hostesses come back up to pull the aisle runner down the aisle. The flower girl walks up to the aisle and starts throwing her "flowers" that just happened to be confetti. The bride appears looking very beautiful. She and her father walk down the aisle. The reverend does his thing and they exchange vows and rings. The reverend pronounces them husband and wife and tells him he can salute his bride. They look at him like were you not at the wedding rehearsal and he steps back. He eventually realizes they have not lit the unity candle and they have not had the singing of "The Lord's Prayer" and they also haven't done their individual tributes to one another. They do all that and then they can kiss. He tries to have church before they allow them to kiss. They walk back down the aisle. Drunk cousin is hollering at the people walking down the aisle.

So while the bridal party is taking pictures everyone is standing around talking and I see the bride's uncle and cousin are dressed in the colors of the wedding. Yeah I forgot to tell you about the colors. Royal blue and white--imagine you are in Detroit and you see a pimp walking around in a blue suit--yeah that color blue. So the uncle and cousin have on pants suits. The pants are blue and the shirt is blue and white--big blocks of blue and white. I am ready to go but my cousin has my key and is nowhere to be found. We eventually leave the wedding to go to the reception.

We get to the reception and there are no seats for about 1/3 of the guests. Also during the wedding there was a thunderstorm at the reception site and the electricity went off. It was hot and there was no air. It was so bad that the ice melted. So I go find my "step-mother" (that is what people call her so I guess I will too) and tell her there is nowhere to sit. She decides to go to McDonald's to get some food for her grandson. I drive. When we get back the line for the food is to the door. They added an extra table but by the time I get back it is full. So I stand around frustrated and hot. I eventually get something to drink. I stand in line to get some food and once I get up to the table there are no plates. We have to wait for plates. There are people serving the food and they are literally rationing food off. After all that trouble I soon find out it is only hors d'oeurves. They gave out 3 meatballs, one small sandwich, two chicken wings and two serving spoons full of pasta salad.

Needless to say I was entertained. Violated but entertained!

Thursday, June 26, 2008

I love my friends....

but can I get a word in edgewise. There are things that I want to share with them but they just go on and on about what is going on in their lives. Not to say that I don't want to know what is going on but I am about to explode.

Today I realized that I cause a lot of my own issues. That is growth right there. I can blame others but some times it is me. My biggest problem is I don't express myself as well as I should. That may be why my friends don't know I am about to explode--lack of expressing myself.

I have an issue that has nothing to do with friends. I hate this new trend that some random man started--fitted jeans that you insist upon sagging. Whisky Tango Foxtrot!

Speaking of Whisky Tango Foxtrot did you see how the state of North Carolina is offering to replace tags that start with the offensive letters WTF? Is it really that deep?

Monday, June 23, 2008


I was reading someone's blog and it talked about unmarried people getting pregnant for the second time with no plans of marrying each other. Well I have something much worse than that in my opinion.

there was this girl I went to high school with and she got pregnant maybe while I was a junior in college. Well the guy shse was pregnant by got someone else pregnant around the same time. Both little girls have the same name--don't remember if it is the middle name or first name. (The story I was told was that she decided on a name first and told his mother. His mother in turn told other baby's mama the name of the child. Her mother decided she liked that name and said that would be a great name for her granddaughter--pyscho right?) Anyway you would think that would be the end of that babymaking. If you thought that then you are wrong. I went to a middle school friend's wedding in 2006 and she was there with a newborn. So we are talking and she tells me that she isn't dating anyone. She starts talking about the father of the first child and then tells me that he is the father of the second child. I have that dumb look on my face but I don't say anything. She then tells me that they weren't dating and she just got pregnant. She was like oh we are just friends. Friends doing it like that nowadays? How do you have unprotected s.e.x again? You both know that you can create a fetus so why do it?

Wednesday, June 18, 2008

My Weekend in Atlanta

Thanks to Babs of Blogland my weekend started on Thursday last week. It was definitely worth it. Babs was the host of Nintendo's Girl's Guide to Gaming. I got in my car and drove to this exclusive event. We even had a police officer outside watching our cars. I didn't know what to expect when I walked up to the building but I was ready for the world. I walked in the door and I hear Babs yell, "Coco!" I was like how did she know it was me and then I asked. She said I know your haircut. I was introduced to everyone--I learned blog names and real names. I got something to snack on and then I sat down. The gaming fun soon started. Our helpers from Nintendo gave us the D.S. Li.te at the different stations and we played our little hearts out. My favorite one was even though LBoogie whipped my butt a couple of times. I will say I did win one game. I met some wonderful people and had a wonderful time. The best part was I finally got to meet Babs. She knows how to host a party. I also got a lovely pink D.S. Li.te--thanks a bunch Babs!

Thursday night after the gaming night I went back to my friend's I watched the game and had a guest. I thoroughly enjoyed myself :)

Friday was a lazy day and I was also attached to my new toy. My friend came home from work and we decided to go to Atlantic Station to see the new H.&M. Can you say I was not impressed. I had to stand in a line to get in and then it was crowded. The clothes were not my cup of tea. I saw some cute outfits but I was not pressed to purchase anything. Maybe the next time I go if there are no crowds it will be better. We went to Wal-Mart later on and that is when I found out my friend has a Wal-Mart phobia. She gets physically sick in Wal-Mart every time she goes.

Friday was bad b/c Rus.sert died. That was just so unexpected. Now the R verdict wasn't unexpected and that is only b/c after reading what was placed in front of the jury I knew the prosec.ution had a lot to overcome. All that we know about R was not given to that jury. The legal process is crazy and that is why he was found not guilty. You can't give everything to the jury like we want to.

Saturday was good. I wish I could carry around a video camera and just upload the videos of my antics. I think the funniest thing that happened was the trip to Target and this chick inside. We are getting ready to leave Target and this girl is walking down the aisle like she is auditioning for America's Nex.t T.op Mo.del. That is the first thing that comes to mind when I see her. I mean she has the wind blowing in her hair look and everything. The only problem is we are in Target on Camp Creek. There are no talent scouts in there. My friend breaks out in song. "You better work, supermodel. Work it girl. Sashay, shante!" Or however the song goes.

Later that night I am supposed to go to my dad's house but that did not happen. When I called him he was in Bumfreak West when he clearly lives in Bumfruck North. So I decided to go to a "semi-pro" football game. The game was at a high school football stadium. The teams jerseys were too big and it was just a hot mess all the way around. There was this man who rode the short bus sitting in front of us who decided that he wanted to flirt with all four of us even though he was old enough to be our fathers and he had only half of his bottom teeth (all the ones in the front were gone). He ended his evening by blowing the four of us one big kiss.

After the game we went to a sports bar. Had fun even though it was not crowded at all. We talked, we laughed and just had fun. So while we are talking we find out that the semi-pro team doesn't get paid. How does that make you semi-pro? Sounds like grown man recreation to me. So we got back to my friend's house around midnight. I call my dad to tell him where I was and he still wasn't anywhere near home so I decided to stay put.

I woke up Sunday morning tired and there was no way I could have gotten dressed and gone to church. I finally got dressed around 11:30 and made to my dad's at 12:45. I spent most of the first hours there talking to his girlfriend. She really isn't as bad as I make her out to be in my head. I just have flashbacks from my childhood of her not being so nice. She cooked a nice dinner. My dad loved his present. He put it on later on that day. We hung out and watched Ti.ger. I learned more about golf and I definitely want to learn how to play. There is a golf/tennis shop somewhere near my dad's house that gives free lessons for both golf and tennis. I will have to look into that. They tried to hold me hostage. I left around 8:45 and got home around 11:00. I was about 25 minutes from home and the sky opened up and rain was everywhere. I ended up driving on the side of the road b/c I couldn't see where I was going. It was crazy.

And that was my great weekend!


It is so much fun living with my mommy and granny when they are in comedy mode. Anyone who has met my mother knows that she is hilarious and my granny is just as hilarious.

Yesterday my grandmother went outside to get some fresh air while it was raining (we have a covered area she can sit under). All of sudden it started thundering. My mom said, "She will be running in the house in a minute." Next thing you hear is the screen door opening and my granny appears. It took her all of 3 seconds to make it in the house. All I could was laugh.

I love those women!

Thank You

Thank you all for the comments and emails and prayers. I talked to my dad today and he basically told me that she isn't "bad off" but they are just preparing for her to get bad. She is not eating so she is losing weight. I am honestly afraid to go visit and it is for selfish reasons. I want to remember her as my grandmother when I was little. I don't want to see her skin and bones. I will get over it and go and visit her though. Thanks specifically to Jameil!!!!!

Monday, June 16, 2008


So today I was supposed to do a post about my weekend and I kept putting it off. Well I had to take this time to blog and explore my feelings. About 30 minutes ago my father called me to let me know that they were putting my grandmother on hospice care. I am numb. I feel sad but I don't want to feel sad because my grandmother has been trapped inside her head for some time. She has Alzheimer's and she was diagnosed when I was a freshman or sophomore in high school. I haven't gone to see her in a long time b/c I just haven't. I hate her nursing home and I just hate the idea of anyone being there. It is not an excuse but it is how I feel. I felt so bad when my dad was telling me about it b/c I could tell he was upset but I had nothing to say to comfort him. She has lived a long life. She is in her 80s and knocking on 90's door. I just have to pray and know that God does everything for a reason. Please pray for me and my family!

Tuesday, June 10, 2008

Crazy Women

Or should I say woman?

It all started about a week ago. I sent my cousin a text message and he never responded and I was thinking well maybe he doesn't have text messaging capabilities (yeah right). So I decided to call him. He never called me back. I was calling him about a hotel room for a special occasion b/c he works at a nice hotel in downtown Atlanta. He told me he would give me his discount. I just needed to call him to confirm. Well I called him again and he never called me back.

Finally I decided to leave another message and state who I was. Probably the best decision I made that day. I get a text message from his girlfriend from his phone saying that she was his girlfriend and she had his phone. She thought I was so random chick until I left my last message. She would make sure he called me as soon as he got back from a trip.

I Am Claiming It!

My interview went well yesterday in my opinion. This was the very first interview that I was not nervous. I don't know what it is about interviews but I always get nervous sometimes to the point of having to stop talking and breathe. Well none of that happened yesterday. I really liked the Judge that I interviewed with--very nice woman. I will let you all know when (if) I get the job (all about claiming the job).

So because my car is smaller and gets better gas mileage my mother has decided that she will drive it to work daily. What does this mean for me? I have to drive my mother's car. The car that she doesn't pay attention to so it has some issues that I notice and she doesn't. When I get in the car today it had one of those lights on--maybe check engine (I honestly don't know). Needless to say this arrangement is not going to work.

Why do people think because I went to law school I can help them with any legal issues they have? In the past three days I have been asked to help people with employment law and family law. I took 88 hours of classes in law school which is roughly 25 classes. I did'nt take any classes in family law and employment. Leave me alone. If one more person tells me that I can help them b/c I went to law school I am going to scream (don't do it Jameil ;)). Law school does not teach you about every law in the land. It teaches you how to think like a lawyer. Law school lesson of the day: In law school you kind of learn about the history of law--they teach you how the law has progressed over the years. Take rape for example--back in the day a husband couldn't rape his wife b/c she was basically his property and he could have sex with her. Now a man can rape his wife if she didn't want to have sex and protested.

The guy that I met last year that I am not feeling is still harassing me randomly on Facebook. I was being polite and speaking because he was speaking to me and eventually I asked how he was doing. He said he was doing ok except for the fact he hasn't seen me. How many ways can you tell a person you are not feeling them before you become mean about it. He was like we can hang out tonight. He makes me want to scream bloody murder.

I am sure I have more to say but right now it is not coming to me.

Sunday, June 8, 2008

Angry Black Woman and Personal Space

I had an Angry Black Woman moment today and it was all because this woman decided to continuously invade my personal space. This is a PSA for anyone who likes to invade personal space--Don't Do It!

I was at my least favorite store in need of some printing paper. I stood in the 20 Items or Less line. Well two women decided to get in the line behind me. Cool but they decided to stand a little too closely. I was ok because I just decided to move to the side of the buggy instead of behind the buggy. I place my items on the counter and the cashier rung me up. I pull out my wallet to pay for my items and get my change back. This woman is almost on top of me as I try to put my money in my wallet so there is no hope of me being able to put my items back in my buggy. I finally went off. I looked at her and loudly said, "Get out of my personal space, please!" She decided to respond and I honestly can't tell you what she said but it had something to do with her being in the store of rollback prices. I looked at her like whisky, tango, foxtrot and repeated myself. She continued talking and as she talked I realized there is never an explanation for a stranger in my personal space. I got louder and told her, "Don't talk to me!" I walked away. I thought about as I walked away b/c I know she would have said I was wrong if I had hit her. I mean of course me hitting her would have been a mistake b/c she was so close to me and my arms are just so long. ;)

With all this being said, if you don't know a person don't stand in their personal space. And if you and I aren't intimate don't stand in my personal space.

Wednesday, June 4, 2008

What to Say...

Ok so a lot has happened in the world just not to me.

Last night should have been amazing b/c Obama got the "magic number". I am happy for him and I love the love b/t Barack and Michelle. I wasn't very excited b/c I do not trust Hillary at all. As I type this I know there are some talks that are going on. I just feel like Hillary is going to find a way to take the nomination (Ok maybe I am just paranoid). I am excited to see that there is a black nominee for the Democratic party. There is some wonderfulness in that situation and yes I did say wonderfulness. Once I get over my paranoia I will write about the joy I feel for Obama.

Good news--I have an interview on Monday for a job that I really want to do--what I have wanted to do from day one. The interview is for a law clerk for a Superior Court Judge (Georgia's trial court). Please pray for me or whatever it is you do. I want and need this job. I am going to do a mock interview tomorrow night.

I got a black.berry! I like it thus far but we shall see.

I have been having dreams about the former boo and I feel ready to cave in. Send some strong vibes my way to just say no. I am enjoying my singleness but the dreams are killing me.

Please help me. Ok my LS is getting married and I was thinking of getting her a t-shirt made for her bachelorette party. Should it say Future Mrs. Doe or Mrs. Doe? I like future but will she wear the shirt after the wedding? I want something that will be cute but worn more than once. Did Eva Longoria wear her Mrs. Parker shirt before she got married or did she have it on after the wedding? I know I am probably over thinking this but I like the idea of the t-shirt and I tend to overthink.

Why do members of my family think my mom is a money tree? Latest example: Younger cousin is turning 17 and wants a limo for her birthday so she decides to call my mom to see if my mom is willing to pay half. I think my biggest issue with this is that she always needs money but doesn't have a job. When I was younger my mother told me that as long as I was able bodied and over 16 I had to have a job. If I have a job she didn't mind helping me out. She didn't pay for any of the wedding stuff. (This is the cousin who showed her ass at the hair salon.) I am broke but I don't ask my mom for anything unless I am desperate.

That's all I have for now.

Sunday, June 1, 2008

My Weekend

Hey I know it is not over but I thought I would tell you how it has gone thus far.

Friday I took my car to the Honda place just to get an inspection. I expected there to be some issues b/c I don't take the best care of my car and I can't afford most things that need to be done. Well when the inspection was done the man came back to me and basically told me that everything was wrong with my car and all the little things added up to about $1400. Yeah, sucks to be my car and me. I will slowly get everything fixed this summer.

I made my way to Atlanta on Friday night and just hung out. I came up b/c Saturday morning I had a bridal shower planning meeting. Saturday I got up and talked to my friend who lives in the DMV area. She got a job (this economy is no joke--she graduated from grad school a day before I did)! We caught up even though we had just seen each other on Sunday. After that I got dressed and made my way to midtown. We met at J. Christoper's. If you are ever in Atlanta and want to do a cute breakfast, brunch or lunch, this is the place for you. It was really cute but I could have done without the gay waiter. I wanted to slap him for the expressions he was giving us as he kept harassing us about ordering. One person was missing and we were being polite by waiting--move b*tch! Yes I took it there b/c he was getting on my nerves. I wish I could tell you all about the wonderful ideas that we came up with but the bride is one of my readers. Hey LCN! I will be sure to give you all the details and take pictures of the decorations so you can know my fabulosity!

After all that I went back to my resting place. I took a nap and then I eventually found a little snack that I later realized was my dinner. We decided to go see Sex and the City. I enjoyed the movie but I had some issues. The movie was just too long. I think I saw a grown man at the movie was his mother. I don't know how I feel about that. Maybe had it been another movie I would have been ok. I won't say anything about the movie. I will say that my movie theater experience was not great at all. I went to the black community movie theater and my last experience there was interesting to say the least--Don't know what I expected to be different. Anyway during the last scenes of the movie the theater was playing the little advertisements that come on before the movie. So there was a Coke commercial playing beneath the movie and then next thing you know you see two realtors pictures on the screen. I got a free movie pass off of that but do I really want to go back to the theater.

After the movie we went to this black owned sports bar. The wait wasn't long even though it was packed (I think everybody was at the bar). I think God is testing me with gay waiters b/c our waiter was gay. He got a little too comfortable. His first question was are you guys ordering alcohol and if we were he wanted to know b/c he didn't feel like making two trips. So he left to get something and came back and plopped down next to me. I mean there was no personal space b/t the two of us--he was in my bubble. He took my order second out of four people. He took my close friend's order third. Ok so my friend never got her drink and I never got my food. In the midst of all this I was informed that I was Miranda. I personally don't think I am Miranda but then again I am one of the few people who never watched the tv show. From what I saw of Miranda in the movie I would not have handled the situation quite like she did. We got back to the house around 2:30 and I don't think I fell asleep until after 3:00. Needless to say there was no 8:00 church service--sorry LCN! I would have sent you a text message but I didn't know if your cell phone was on and if it was I didn't want to wake you up at 3:00 a.m. I am going to do better next time.

I don't think today will be all that exciting which is why I blogged about my weekend today.

DollFace--call me back. I am so sorry I missed your call the other day and I want to hear the story you have for me.