Monday, June 16, 2008

Numb

So today I was supposed to do a post about my weekend and I kept putting it off. Well I had to take this time to blog and explore my feelings. About 30 minutes ago my father called me to let me know that they were putting my grandmother on hospice care. I am numb. I feel sad but I don't want to feel sad because my grandmother has been trapped inside her head for some time. She has Alzheimer's and she was diagnosed when I was a freshman or sophomore in high school. I haven't gone to see her in a long time b/c I just haven't. I hate her nursing home and I just hate the idea of anyone being there. It is not an excuse but it is how I feel. I felt so bad when my dad was telling me about it b/c I could tell he was upset but I had nothing to say to comfort him. She has lived a long life. She is in her 80s and knocking on 90's door. I just have to pray and know that God does everything for a reason. Please pray for me and my family!

3 comments:

bella0110 said...

My grandmother suffered from alzheimer's as well, so i know how devastating it can be. My prayers are with you and your family. Be encouraged.

DollFace said...

Girl you know you are in my prayers. That's a long time to suffer; hopefully you can be at peace. I'm here for you.

jameil1922 said...

she probably won't know who you are but go give her a hug anyway. my grandma has alzheimer's and we used to just be around her. you will probably feel a bit guilty when she goes if you still haven't been to see her for years. just brace yourself for lots of who is this every 5 mins. i've been thru it 2xs. my granddad's cousin who was mad old, too. it's ok. just love them.