Monday, June 30, 2008

It's Hard Out Here for a Lawyer

It sure is! Today I was rejected once again. I cried and cried and I am sure that I will cry some more. I just knew that this was the job for me. I really wanted that job. I am trying to figure out why I am not the best candidate and sometimes not even a candidate to get interviewed. My grades aren't great but I am a hard worker. How can I get experience if I can't get a job? Today I asked myself what was the point of going to college and law school if I can't get a job. I can't even get a minimum wage paying job b/c I am over experienced. I just feel like I am going to be stuck in my hometown for the rest of my life. I feel like I will not be able to pay all my bills ever. Do you know how many times I have deferred my student loans.

All the things I want to say can't even be put into words. My faith is really shaky right now. I have prayed and prayed and nothing. Other people around me pray and get jobs. It's almost like why should I pray if no one is listening to my prayers. I feel bad for saying that but it has been 18 months and I have no job worth speaking of. People keep telling me to pray and keep the faith but if my faith and prayer haven't gotten me a job in 18 months when will I get a job? Will I have to file for bankruptcy--yes times are about to be that bad? I haven't felt this bad in a long time. I mean I truly hurt. I see all these people around me going to work and paying their bills and I can't do it. I make sure I have the minimum for my credit cards but how is that going to help my debt. I can't even buy gas. I want to believe that God is there for me but it has been 18 months. I don't how much more of this I can take. I don't see a light at the end of the tunnel. I don't even know where the end of the tunnel is.

5 comments:

Davia said...

I understand, trust me! I took me a year to get a job in my field, and I have been at my job for a little over a year and I ready to QUIT!!!!!! You really do have to be patient...and network your ass off. It's really who you know unfortunately. You will something soror, trust me. Having faith is hard too when you are frustrated. I struggle with that too, so you are not alone.

Adei von K said...

i was sooooooo there. i wish 2006 did not even exist.

the Lord is just taking you thru this hard time so you can fully appreciate what he is getting ready for you.

I remember those days when I didn't even have money for min. payments on the cards I was using to pay my utilities. i was scraping for CHANGE to put $1.27 in my car; begging to PLEASE make it to class. couldn't even but gas to go to work. clearly, my bank acct was overdrawn... i CRIED when I got my first paycheck in aug of 2007.

he brought you to it, he'll bring you thru it.
try a different avenue. see about teaching Coco.

DollFace said...

(((hugs)))

I'm so sorry to hear you didn't get the job. Trust me, there is a reason you didn't get it. I know how overwhelming financial stressors can be. But you will get through this. Have you considered looking in another area?

jameil1922 said...

Stace is right and even though I know none of this helps you right now, your time is coming. I didn't get a PAYING job in my field for 15 mos. after graduation and worked at Express. it SUUUUUCKS!! don't stop being faithful. ask others to pray for you as well. it's normal to wonder why everyone but you. when you feel like questioning, keep going back to the things that make you feel faithful or find something else. maybe the scripture that encouraged you before is not having the same effect. if you want some i can send them to you.

Babs said...

I'm sorry about the job. I know that feeling all too well. Like the others said, maybe you should try something else. But keep trying!