Feelings

So lately I have been feeling some type of way. Normally I am extremely excited about my birthday but this year not so much. Actually this year I feel like I could go without celebrating (anyone who really knows me who is reading this is probably gasping for air). I had to figure out why I am feeling this way and I finally figured it out. I am not satisfied with my life so I don't feel like celebrating. I am happy for friends and family but I need something more. I need a job and some love in my life.

I compare my life to my mom and right now I am not measuring up in my head. When my mom was my age she had a career and a baby. She also had a man but clearly I won't get into how bad that ended (let's just say she soon became a single mother). I have 2 degrees and nothing else. I hate to say it like that but it is true. And to add insult to injury I have debt b/c of one of those degrees. The job/career was supposed to help me pay off the debt but that isn't happening.

I want to delve deeper but right now I am just not ready. To be continued...

Smooches,
Coco, Esq.

Randomness

I have some tendencies I need to work on.

I gave up sweets for Lent. My sweet tooth is bad and I needed to work on it.

I still haven't sent my computer to De.ll. That is bad considering I could have wireless if I sent it to the repair place.

I don't have much today but I wanted to talk to you guys.

I still know nothing about the job. I am entirely too impatient. I think God is testing my patience and I am failing miserably.

I love my friends! Thanks DollFace for the text messages last week. I really was emotional and you helped me at least talk about it.

Did I tell you guys if I don't find a job I am moving in with my friend and being her nanny? Yeah the more I think about that the more I hate the idea. I don't want to be responsible for a baby especially if it is not mine. I am so my mother's child! She doesn't hold babies until they are at least 6 months. I am sure my infancy was pretty interesting with her.

I want some cookies so bad. I have been talking myself out of this for the past two days. I also want some pecans that are coated in sugar. I need to go pray.

Tell 'Em How You Feel Thursday

So today was long and boring! I played on the internet all day in between job searching. I am really hoping that I will get a phone call really soon saying I got the job. The main people said I am eligible/qualified for the job. Pray for me!


I can be financial in my sorority again! My grad chapter jacked up my dues and I thought it was taken care of until I tried to pay my dues last year. So now I can be active and financial!

I finally harassed the bride enough to go ahead and pick out the dress. She picked it out today and hopefully the decision will be finalized tomorrow.

I am going to an undergrad party tonight. That should be oh so interesting since I haven't seen undergrad in almost 6 years and my senior year I rarely went to parties. I think I may have been a little lame but I made up for all of that in law school.

So the crush appears to be back in the crush category. The other guy helped me on Tuesday while I was crying my little heart out. He didn't know I was crying but he definitely helped me through it. Afterwards we decided that we were going to get married jokingly. But I did tell him if I am still single at 30 and I am coming for him.

I have nothing else for you guys but I wanted to blog before I sent my computer away. I may blog from my phone but I seriously doubt it.

Smooches,
Coco, Esq.

Good News

So today I went to a meeting to mobilize the Democratic Party in my home county. I am the Interim Chair of the Democ.ratic Commi.ttee of Pea.ch Cou.nty. I am truly excited about this endeavour and hopefully can accomplish some things. I wasn't the youngest person there but I was the youngest working professional (I use that term loosely since we know my job situation). Everyone was excited and happy that I took on the job. I think they want me to be the permanent chair but hopefully I will be leaving the area soon. But I am still excited about the opportunity! This state needs to do better with the whole political thing b/c there was no reason why Georgia shouldn't have been blue or at least purple.

On My Mind

Yeah so I didn't post anything last week. Sorry about that but last week was extremely stressful. Everyday I had something to do and had to wake up entirely too early when I went to sleep entirely too late. Anywho I will give an update about all of it.

Last week I had 5 closings which is extremely good in this economy--nice check in a few weeks for only about 7 hours of work.

Last Wednesday was the job fair. Yeah I never made it inside. I actually had an interview on Wednesday morning that I think went well. I will find out soon hopefully (but it's not a lawyer job). Anyway, after I left the interview I went to the job fair location. I was talking on the phone to my friend who I was supposed to meet there and she tells me that the line is off the chain. When she got there the line was wrapped around the building 3 times. It was a federal building also. It was crazy. We decided to strategize and drove around to figure out where we could strategize and not pay to park (she took the train there). So we decide to drive by the location so I could see the line. While driving we see a lady who actually made it into the fair. She tells us that there are only about 25-30 recruiters and only 2 were taking resumes. She then says others told her to apply for federal jobs online and none of their agencies are hiring b/c they are waiting on the stimulus package to pass. That was my cue to drive away and find us some food.

Friday I went to a career preview for a financial planning company. I just have to take a personality test. I probably should have taken it this weekend but I was so sleepy that I slept most of the weekend.

He called me on Saturday but all I could say was hello sleepily and he said I could call him later. I did but we didn't talk. So nothing else to say about him.

The crush is on ice. No developments but he did wish me luck on my interview and all that jazz.

My mommy bought me the cutest shoes for Valentine's Day. They will be part of the birthday ensemble.

As you may know I spilled water on my computer about a month ago and it appeared to have killed my wireless card. I got a long warranty and it isn't up yet so De.ll will be getting the computer and fixing it--any issues that I can come up with they will fix.

Sunday I went to the mall and found a dress and a shirt from Ex.press for less than $20. I am bringing sexy back! Pictures eventually.

Oh yeah I hate being the only technical person in my house. That means I have to figure out stuff that other people "can't". My mom's school gave them Ma.cs and she wants to use it at home. Well I only had ethernet. I had to talk to our internet provider and come up with a solution to fix the problem. The guy told me it would be best to just go to the store and get a wireless router. I go get the router and it won't install properly. I figure out how to install it without the installation disk and that is when I notice that my wireless connection doesn't work. I call my dad and ask for his help. He sends me through all this crap and I download driver after driver. Then I figure out that something is wrong with the actual card. I contact De.ll via the net and then phone. Guy tells me it can be shipped and fixed. My mom's computer won't connect to the ethernet and then it won't connect to the wireless network. I really think that is because her school only wants her to be on one network. I can't promise that but I think that is the case. She doesn't understand connecting to the net and no matter how you explain it to her she doesn't get it. I just want to grab and shake her.

I was so unproductive today.

I also need to do my interview from Mimi!

Since I will have to send the computer away I will be out of commission for a couple of days if not weeks.

I need someone to rub on me.

Some people and their emotions drive me crazy.

My friend whose wedding I will be in is going to have a hot mess of a wedding. I still have no dress or dress options. The wedding is in 7 months and there is no reception venue or decision of whether the reception will be formal or informal. She almost decided not to come home to get stuff together for the wedding. All I can say is I am going to be cute regardless. I should probably harass her again about the dresses.

Obligatory Post of The Week/Randomness in My Life

Ok so is "I want you to sit on my fa.ce" the new pickup line? I went out last weekend and I was clearly minding my own business in my cute sweater dress and I get that. Can you say keep it moving? Do you even know me like that to say it much less attempt to do it?

I love my friends! I just wanted to let them know.

I am so ok being by myself right now. I would love to date (not pressed about it) but I would first need to leave the house and then meet someone. I got to spend time with the crush on Sunday and that was interesting. He is hilarious and sweet. I love the fact that he makes me laugh. No matter what he will be a great friend. I think I am about to place him in the friend category. I also think I like him more than he likes me.

I need a new car so bad. The other day I was riding around in my mother's old car and it just turned off as I was making a right turn. That was the one time I was happy to live in a small town. Some men were nice enough to help me and I was able to walk to my cousin's job to borrow her car. There aren't as many gentlemen out there as I thought b/c a lot of men just drove around me. Well the car is fixed now.

I am supposed to be going to a Federal Job Fair on Wednesday. Keep me in your prayers!

I just want to give a shout out to my LS LNB! I know she reads this and we don't talk often but I want her to know I love her. I love you too LS AH!

Ink and paper are very expensive!

I miss Part-time but he is an asshole. We haven't had a falling out or anything but I don't have the urge to talk to him. We are just a never ending cycle. This is my opportunity to break the cycle.

There is something I want to tell you guys but I don't know what you will think of me after I tell it. My close friends know. It is not bad but when it happened it felt terrible.

Tell 'Em How You Feel Thursday

It is Thursday again!

Yesterday I talked to the crush. Swoon! Can I say the conversation was hilarious and entertaining. He is a sweetie. I will actually get to see him on Sunday :)

So yesterday I went to a job fair. It was interesting. No legal jobs but I figure it is time for me to branch out. I met some nice people and got to see some old friends. After the job fair I went to see my friend and her children. Her son is a bre.ast man and grabbed one of mine (he will be one next week). That was quite interesting. About 30 minutes after I left her house one of the people who lived in the area killed his brother and 2 sisters. Can you say scary? It doesn't pay to live in the hood.

One of my younger cousins was diagnosed with schizophrenia. I worry about my mental health. I feel bad for him but at least he was diagnosed and if something happens it can be explained.

So I have decided to give up sweets. My face broke out really bad this week and I couldn't figure out why. Then I was reminded that I went on a sweet binge last week. The sad part about this is I know when I eat fruit I don't even want sweets.

So I talked to my friend about the bridesmaids dresses and she listened. What is funny is I was the only one concerned about looking for a dress. The wedding is in October and I understand that that is 9 months away but I am on a budget and I need to know how much money I need to put away.

Irritation

So my friend is getting married and I am a bridesmaid. She wants the bridesmaids to pick out their own dresses but she wants to approve them first. She is doing this so we won't have to spend a large sum of money. I found a beautiful and relatively inexpensive dress at Nord.strom's website. I send her the picture from the website and firmly get shut down. Nice dress but the satin fabric won't look right on everyone. Ok that would have been nice to know while I am searching for the dress considering the fabric swatches she sent us were satin. I honestly feel if you need to approve you need to pick out the dress. You should also pick out the dress b/c all of your bridesmaids live in different areas of the country and pictures are only going to do so much. Is it just me or is this stupid? It would make more sense if the bridesmaid lived in the same area and went shopping together. But since we don't live in the same area she should find dresses that fit everyone or at least fabric that looks good on everyone.

Coco, Esq.

Tell 'Em How You Feel Thursday

I must complain and then I will let it go: The slow people get jobs and I am jobless. Ex. Today I went to pay my granny's life insurance and she gave me more than the actual payment. The woman took the payment and needed to subtract using the calculator (the change was $1.70). She steps to the phone and tries to subtract. Do you know it took her four times trying to subtract to realize that she was using the phone instead of the calculator.

Ok so my mother and I kissed and made up. Everytime we argue it is about her being overbearing. I am sticking to my idea that she is a little mental. I need to find her a man to occupy her time but I don't know if he will be up to the challenge.

I am starting to hate my phone--it mistakenly dials someone once a week. Today it decided to take it up a notch and get on the internet. I think I was on the internet for almost 30 minutes before I noticed.

I need to eat more fruits and vegetables b/c I have sugar issues. I bought almost 5 dollars worth of candy today.

I am reading "Writ.e It Do.wn, Ma.ke It Happ.en". There are some good ideas in the book and I am trying to do some of them.

Why is everything black and white for some people? My mom makes everything about black and white. I understand that some issues are black and white but I feel like I need to look at the good of the situation as opposed to the color of the situation. I know there are people out there that don't like my President b/c some of his ancestors are black but that is not going to stop me from supporting him.

I had more but my memory is bad so I will have to get back to you!

Coco, Esq.

January 20, 2009

I had to blog today. My President is Barack H. Obama! He looks like me and he understands some of my struggles that no other President before him has. I shed tears of joy today. The emotions cannot be put into words. I know the only thing that would have made this better was to be there in the midst. Today will forever be in my memory.

That ceremony was truly empowering. I respect all who spoke including Ri.ck War.ren. Josep.h Low.ry did it in his benediction. Forty years ago he wouldn't have been able to do that and he didn't wouldn't have been speaking at an African-American President's Inauguration. That right there made me feel so good. He is a bridge to this country's past and I am thankful for him and all who marched with him.

I am so excited that I got to see the Hampton University Marching Force in the parade. I was so proud of my alma mater! They had the First Lady getting her dance on. I get to call her my First Lady. She looks like me. That is a great feeling that many thought I would never get to feel.

I just thank the Lord that I get to see such things! I am smiling and I will not allow anyone to steal that joy!

I refuse to allow the negativity of others to take this moment of history away from me but I will say that I am a little hot that the local Fox station showed no coverage of this occasion. The only thing that doesn't make truly upset about that is that they rarely show press conferences that W had. I guess they are equal opportunity on ignoring Presidents.